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Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by tzs on Monday March 24, 2025 @09:57PM (#43467412)
I had sort of the opposite situation. I needed a new washer and all the top rated ones according to Consumer Reports included WiFi. I asked at Home Depot if the one I was thinking of getting, an LG WM3400CW, required me to actually use the WiFi and they said no.

I used it for a few weeks without ever even trying to set up WiFi and everything was fine.

Then I found at that when you set up an LG washer for WiFi you can get reports in the app of water and energy use. I'd actually like that, so decided to give it WiFi access.

I then found out that the WM3400CW does in fact not have WiFi. I think it might be the only current LG washing machine that does not have WiFi.

I suspect that Consumer Reports got confused because it does have LG's "Smart Diagnosis" feature, which gives you diagnostic reports in the LG app.

The way "Smart Diagnosis" in the app works with the WM3400CW is that the washing machine sends the data to the app acoustically. Press the button sequence to start a diagnosis on the washing machine and it sounds very similar to an old analog modem. The app listens to that with your phone's microphone.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by sureIy on Monday March 24, 2025 @10:26PM (#43467575)
This sounds like great use of technology if you ask me. The only thing I'd complain about is that data would not be E2E encrypted :)
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by UnlockedSecrets on Monday March 24, 2025 @11:31PM (#43467873)
In terms of a threat-risk analysis, the need of a physical microphone nearby i imagine more than makes up for the risk of an adversary knowing your water quality and electrical consumption as measured by your washer in almost everyones lives atleast..
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by amy_petrik on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @12:15AM (#43468075)
the use of customer-central water usage data piques my interest. there's a huge market for selling water and waste data to advertisers and other companies interested in consumer data. This is one of my friend's startups, smartpipes, which is a type of smart sewage pipe - these smart washers remind me of smartpipe (which supports dishwasher waste!): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJklHwoYgBQ
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by mmooss on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:49AM (#43468629)
It also indicates when you are home or out, and likely an estimate of how many people live there. It could collect more data.

Those pieces of data are combined with others, to form a full picture. This device doesn't need to collect it all itself.

Survellance of private citizens is arguably the foundation of the very dangerous problems in societies around the world, taking away freedom, health, peace, and for most, prosperity. When do you stop it?

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by tempay on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @03:27AM (#43468783)
I think you might have missed OPs point being about acoustically sending data rather than using bluetooth/WiFi.

If someone is close enough to your home to listen to your washing machine (or more likely, inside) they can probably hear/see you more directly.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by mmooss on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @03:09PM (#43474682)
> I think you might have missed OPs point being about acoustically sending data rather than using bluetooth/WiFi

I did! Thanks.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by sfn42 on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:15AM (#43469642)
If someone can get a bug into my home I'm pretty sure they already know how many people live there and whether we're home..

Ad if someone is bugging my home I think the data transfer from my dishwasher is quite literally the least of my worries.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by 05 on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @08:36AM (#43470460)
> It also indicates when you are home or out

Yeah, being able to record sounds that the washer makes would probably also enable you to analyze things people say and extract much more information than 'how many people live there' and 'are they home or not'.

But fortunately for us, you need to actually press a physical button to make the machine sing the diagnostics..

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by bee_rider on Monday March 24, 2025 @11:20PM (#43467830)
Seems like it’d be a good application for Bluetooth.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by Spooky23 on Monday March 24, 2025 @11:48PM (#43467956)
Bluetooth modelers don’t age well in these types of environments. Sound is much easier and more reliable.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by 8n4vidtmkvmk on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @12:22AM (#43468114)
Why can't it be E2E encrypted? If you can encode data on sound waves, surely you can encode encrypted data on sound waves.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by gryfft on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:05AM (#43468481)
Seems to me like the overhead it would add would way outweigh the benefit for the use case. I wouldn't want to wait an extra 10 seconds for the audio to finish transmitting every time just to prevent nonexistent spies in my kitchen from listening in.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by Retr0id on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:30AM (#43468555)
The data/time overhead would be negligible. Engineering overhead to implement it on the other hand, perhaps not.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by gryfft on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @03:52AM (#43468885)
> The data/time overhead would be negligible.

Doubling or tripling the amount of data sent would be negligible over a wire, but an audio protocol won't be as snappy. Then there's the matter of trust/decryption. How are those keys being kept safe? What happens if I lose access?

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by Retr0id on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:27AM (#43469081)
Then don't double or triple the amount of data sent. There's simply no need.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by stavros on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:39AM (#43469154)
You can encrypt data and keep the exact same original byte size.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by gryfft on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @08:07AM (#43470241)
If you're using symmetric encryption, sure. And then every dishwasher has the same symmetric key, guaranteeing it'll leak.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by stavros on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @01:17PM (#43473629)
Everything uses symmetric encryption, including asymmetric encryption. Using symmetric encryption doesn't mean you'd use the same key for every dishwasher, you'd obviously just pair the devices and generate a new key, like everything does nowadays. Also, my dishwasher doesn't use any sort of encryption, and it still leaks.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by OkGoDoIt on Monday March 24, 2025 @10:11PM (#43467499)
That sounds perfect. This needs to go on a list for the next time I need to replace a dishwasher.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by exabrial on Monday March 24, 2025 @10:23PM (#43467559)
Literally none of that requires cloud access though to accomplish that task.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by exabrial on Monday March 24, 2025 @11:11PM (#43467783)
And apologies, my frustration isn't directed at you
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by dorfsmay on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @12:53AM (#43468220)
Smart diagnostic sounds good but make it available via Bluetooth or make the dishwasher run a webserver on the local lan.

Having to go through their site and their auth means they ultimately control the appliance I paid full price for.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by i2shar on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:02AM (#43468474)
Why not just use Bluetooth? I'd be suspicious if the Dishwasher app requested permission to access the phone's microphone
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by colechristensen on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:30AM (#43468553)
You can implement an audio modem with much dumber hardware and it would be cheaper and less vulnerable to nonsense, especially if all you're sending is a few bytes. Then you also don't need to do FCC certification. Seriously bitbanging an audio modem to broadcast error codes from a $0.20 BOM microcontroller and a little buzzer speaker would be a fun project to give to a summer intern. (If anyone wants to believe a highly falsified resume and would believe I'm 15 years younger, I'd be happy to join your company for the summer :D <sadly not really> )
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by floating-io on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @03:18AM (#43468735)
If your hardware has a clock >32Khz, you need FCC certification. It doesn't matter if it deliberately uses radio or not, last I checked.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by varjag on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:14AM (#43468992)
Intentional radiators have additional certification requirements.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by vasco on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:43AM (#43468601)
For energy usage, a metering plug on the same outlet you use is very cheap. For water, just take the bendy pipe and put it onto a big container and see how much water it uses. It shouldn't change much so you do it once. Wifi and the whole cloud for this seems weird.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by schobi on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @02:46AM (#43468615)
Wouldn't it be great if a universal standard existed for devices sending their diagnosis via audio?

If there is a microcontroller and a beeper in there anyway, at only the extra cost of internal memory? Instead of a modem-type modulation and a speaker, make use of the bare minimum piezo beepers and send something that is universally understood? All of that without FCC, no extra hardware cost, no backchannel und thus little security considerations?

Yea - I know. Works much better to upsell "wifi enabled" and I'm happy that the appliances only beep rarely.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by TuringTest on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:04AM (#43468938)
> Yea - I know. Works much better to upsell "wifi enabled"

A good marketer could give a catchy name to sell the advantages of that system too. Top of my head I can think of "near-fi", but certainly could be done better.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by rightbyte on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:58AM (#43469234)
"Spyware and asbestos free"
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by RandomBacon on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @08:00AM (#43470189)
Spyware, and asbestos free!

("Sugar, Free Donuts")

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by RandomBacon on Wednesday March 26, 2025 @08:17AM (#43481356)
D'oh! I realize now, I should have wrote it as:

Spyware and asbestos, free!

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by rightbyte on Thursday March 27, 2025 @09:01AM (#43493161)
Heh ye was trying and failed to get the original joke.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by account42 on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @07:42AM (#43470072)
* still full of adware and lead though
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by tigerlily on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @05:37AM (#43469438)
> Wouldn't it be great if a universal standard existed for devices sending their diagnosis via audio?

LG must have some internal standard for this feature. If they would just publish it and then that could be the standard.

Edit: to the downvotetards, if you worked in actual engineering like I do, then you would understand that this is how most standards naturally materialize. Someone does one thing particularly well, it becomes the standard.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by dgacmu on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:12AM (#43469628)
No, that might be the beginning of the standard, because once it's published you realize they don't have a version number or vendor ID or any way to add fields other than the ones they hard coded or whatnot. But it's a start and it would be great if they did it!
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by DanielHB on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @05:39AM (#43469452)
An appliance could just have blutooth so it can connect to an app on your phone. With the machine not having a direct internet connection, the app can collect diagnostics, metrics and do software updates. Require you to press a button in the machine to pair it to your phone.

99% of the functionality with 0 annoyance and ~0 security/privacy risks.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by phkahler on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @08:48AM (#43470550)
Yes! I've been thinking about bluetooth and a standard protocol and generic app. You'd get basic gui functionality for any compliant device, showing whatever device specific stuff the manufacturer wants.

Kinda of like a bluetooth X-terminal, but way way simpler. Think tkinter over bluetooth, probably sans canvas.

A bunch of people will say to just use wifi, make the device a Hotspot, and use your web browser. That's not a bad idea, but tiny devices aren't going to run web servers dishing out multi megabits frameworks.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by DanielHB on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:24PM (#43475527)
If you afford a bluetooth chip you can definitely definitely afford a CPU that can push 2-5mb HTML files through it in reasonable time (you can pre-gzip it) and some flash storage (which you probably already need if you are any kind of metrics over time).

It could be hard to encode JSON messages dynamically for the actual data to show in the web application, but you _can_ use other protocols from a browser too (CBOR is quite popular for this).

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by phkahler on Wednesday March 26, 2025 @09:16AM (#43481952)
>> If you afford a bluetooth chip you can definitely definitely afford a CPU that can push 2-5mb HTML files through it in reasonable time

Maybe not. I'm using a micro controller with specific peripherals and ADC requirements for a high speed control system. This has less RAM and flash that you can probably get away with for a web server. We'd have to add a bluetooth radio chip, but I hear those go for well under $1. There are all kinds of embedded devices that have few resources but could be expanded with cheap Bluetooth connectivity. I realize this is changing quickly, but there will always be very small devices.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by DanielHB on Thursday March 27, 2025 @04:50AM (#43491552)
Yes running a full blown web server with HTTP support requires a bigger CPU and RAM, but don't need a lot of RAM or CPU to stream an HTLM file through blutooth from flash storage. Serving data over blutooth for that HTML application would need some custom stuff (because it would go over blutooth and JSON-encoding for messages would probably require too many resources). My point is that it is definitely possible to serve a HTML file over blutooth, render it in a app through an WebView and have the app communicate to the device over blutooth without putting a beefy CPU in there.

The product I worked on the bluetooth chip was more expensive than the CPU if memory serves me right and we did something similar. But I am not a board designer or procurement expert.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by follower on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:47PM (#43475789)
> I've been thinking about bluetooth and a standard protocol and generic app.

A long time ago I developed a project called "Handbag[0] for Android"[1] based around a similar concept--it targeted the short-lived "Android Open Accessory Protocol" initially over USB & later also over network/WiFi.

(My project notes from the time mentioned a long-term goal of also supporting Bluetooth but that never eventuated...)

Handbag made use of a "generic" Android app for UI display/interaction and an Arduino library that communicated with the app over a binary protocol.

The app would display various UI widgets such as labels/progress bars to display feedback from the accessory and text inputs/buttons to accept input forwarded to the accessory.

While the project did not take the world by storm, I was reminded when digging up these links that at least one person called the concept genius[2]. :)

----

[0] Because it let you "accessorize your Android phone or tablet". :D

[1] https://web.archive.org/web/20130205135845/http://handbagdev...

[2] https://www.doctormonk.com/2011/11/handbag-android-and-ardui...

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by ldng on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @11:34AM (#43472591)
Why ?! Audio diagnostic is passive and (I suppose/hope) associated with a button (?).

Can we stop putting obligatory (hackable) active network devices everywhere ?

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by DanielHB on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:16PM (#43475438)
For basic diagnostics that is enough, but if you want to do more data-intensive stuff (including software updates) you need something more.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by freedomben on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @12:53PM (#43473391)
But that still requires installing their app on a mobile device, and that app will still have invasive access to data and internet, etc. If we have to have an "app" I'd much rather it be a built-in web server (despite the inevitable security decay) that serves up a local-only web interface. Best scenario though is to just give me hardware controls and a simple display :-)
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by DanielHB on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:15PM (#43475431)
Apps require permissions and they can't just sniff the network willy nilly. Any IoT device on your network has way more access to privacy-related things than apps.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by areyourllySorry on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:46PM (#43476875)
apps can stop being supported by new devices if not updated
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by smolder on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:11AM (#43469621)
How about a wifi feature that is useful on a LAN and doesn't need 'the cloud'? The annoying part of wifi appliances is that network connectivity almost always means phoning home to some server on WAN. Home routers or a separate box on LAN ought to have functionality to be the bridge between appliances and client devices instead. That's a standard I'd rather see.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by sofixa on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:20AM (#43469658)
Because most people don't have anything on the LAN that can integrate with the appliance, and with just a phone app and the appliance, you're limited in computing power, background activity and storage (you can't store all usage data on the machine itself, and you can't rely on the phone always being on the same wifi to collect the data and store it).
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by Gibbon1 on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:34AM (#43469712)
"you can't store all usage data on the machine itself"

I can buy 128M flash for $2/10k

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by sofixa on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @07:20AM (#43469935)
Flash that will survive the heat and humidity of a washing machine for a decade?
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by stoobs on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @08:05AM (#43470230)
Place in the correct location and pot it correctly (conformal coating) and it won't be an issue.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by bgnn on Sunday April 06, 2025 @06:32PM (#43605532)
I'm pretty sure most app support will be dropped before that.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by GrumpyNl on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:20AM (#43469660)
Bluetooth comes to mind.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by a_paddy on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @08:27AM (#43470391)
Zigbee would be even better.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by jpalomaki on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @06:48AM (#43469767)
Or flashing led and use mobile phone camera to scan it.

Back in the days infrared connection was a thing. I remember connecting my Compaq iPAQ PDA to Nokia phone.

Wonder if the modern cellphone cameras are fast enough to act as receiver and if this supported one way communication.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by liotier on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @07:12AM (#43469900)
> Or flashing led and use mobile phone camera to scan it

Miele uses flashing LED as some sort of serial communication.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by franktankbank on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @07:22AM (#43469942)
Or just codes that you can look up. Most washers have a small LCD screen capable of displaying two digits.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by tzs on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @07:55AM (#43470152)
That reminds me of another thing I wish was a universal standard for major appliances.

I’d like to see them all have a USB port. If you plug in a thumb drive the appliance should create a directory named with the appliance manufacturer and model and serial number. In that directory it should place a copy of its manual and other documents that normally come with it.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by xnzakg on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @10:53AM (#43472092)
...or just have device side usb port that shows up as a mass storage device?
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by freedomben on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @12:50PM (#43473353)
That would be pretty inconvenient for appliances in places that are hard to reach with a computer, but definitely an improvement over the status quo.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by quacked on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @12:38PM (#43473237)
That's a very good idea. I'd love it if cars had this.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by andylynch on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @09:47AM (#43471251)
This reminds me that Fischer & washing machines have an Easter egg where they can use that beeper to play God Defend New Zealand.
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by sockaddr on Thursday March 27, 2025 @03:10PM (#43496989)
Could even be made to sound something like R2D2
Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by squigz on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:18AM (#43469013)
> The way "Smart Diagnosis" in the app works with the WM3400CW is that the washing machine sends the data to the app acoustically. Press the button sequence to start a diagnosis on the washing machine and it sounds very similar to an old analog modem. The app listens to that with your phone's microphone.

This sounds far, far better to me - and just goes to show it's not necessary for everything to be connected to the Internet...

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by culturestate on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @04:27AM (#43469083)
> The way "Smart Diagnosis" in the app works with the WM3400CW is that the washing machine sends the data to the app acoustically.

My LG microwave has this too; it wasn't a selling point for me, but I thought it was a nice compromise by their engineers and product team.

Re:I won't connect my dishwasher to your stupid cloud by 7thaccount on Tuesday March 25, 2025 @07:43AM (#43470080)
Acoustically? That's pretty neat and seems a lot less invasive, while still being useful.