Out of sight, out of mind.

Similarly, drawers and cabinets remove things from existence. Only a wall of open shelving will do. Is this ADHD, or something else ?

Then the only remaining challenge is to convince the wife to put them up in front of every wall.

https://williambasinski.bandcamp.com/album/the-disintegratio...

The combination of noise, repetition, and minimal melody really helps me focus.

- I don't get into the groove despite the music

- Something clicks and I get into the groove

- I'm so deeply in the groove that even lofi hip hop bothers me, so I turn it off and go ham

Also I find it funny that lofi hip hop has an alternate title of "beats to relax/study to"--I used to listen to it while studying in college, but now I use it for working on personal projects or at work.

Really anything without lyrics. Talking has a way hijacking the attention centers in my brain.

I feel like it’s related to once I hit the point where I’m really into what I’m working on.

Either way the silence gives a great feeling of relief. I sleep with a noise generator in my room and can't really do without it (tiny noises fill me with adrenaline at night) but when I wake up and turn it off my body loves me for returning the silence.

Music for Airports, with even less repetition.

https://www.generativemusic.com/bloom.html

But if I listen to music with lyrics in language which I don't speak, then I don't get distracted.

Spanish mambo works well for me. Also I've recently listened to some operas.

Classical music is good and bad. A lot of classical has instruments that I don't like, and some of the music is too erratic for focus.

    Samarost 3
    Hundered Days
    Far Lone Sails
    Far Changing Tides
    Obduction and Myst series
    The Red Strings Club
    Conspiravision (which is a remake of Deus Ex OST)
    Hyper Light Drifter

Get a recommendation for a neuropsych and get a diagnosis. People here love to objectify and hate on anyone using stimulants. A 5mg dose of stimulants daily has quite literally changed my life. You don't have to live wondering what you could've been cognitively capable of.

I highly recommend looking at the talks by Dr Russell Barkley and his book Taking Charge of Adult ADHD. It’s a lot more than attention/hyperactivity. It was the emotional response + lack of functional working memory that really convinced me of how much it impacts my life and helped me understand why the attention issues occur in the first place.

If it's within your means to do so, I can't stress enough how much better it is knowing, for sure.

I was diagnosed but also have High Blood Pressure (HBP), genetics, and most of the meds we tested cause an uncomfortable rise in pressure that just wasn't worth it.

My coping mechanisms are what I have left I suppose.

[0]: https://astralcodexten.substack.com/p/know-your-amphetamines

Pretty sure it doesn't help with blood pressure, but especially the way to common Ritalin comes with weird side effects that most people likely won't enjoy.

Unfortunately stimulants don't have much of an affect on me so I take quite a high dose at the moment. I'm doing all the suggested things to help them along, like increasing protein, getting more Zinc, Magnesium, Vitamin D etc, staying away from citrus. Ensuring good sleep hygiene.

I see a psychologist regularly to unpick the weight of all the masking and coping mechanisms. It's a long process, but making much more progress than when I thought it was just depression and perfectionism issues.

I'm starting Neurofeedback to see if that helps and planning to use an ADHD specific performance coach in the new year to help with work.

I've been curious about neurofeedback too. You mean the ones that record physiological responses right? Theres also brain stimulation devices which seem intriguing https://www.healio.com/news/psychiatry/20190422/fda-permits-...

For more info see the book "Taking Charge of Adult ADHD" by Russel Barkley https://www.amazon.com/dp/1462546854 and the DIVA-5 test that many physicians use as part of the diagnosis process https://www.divacenter.eu (costs 10 EUR to download the PDF).

There is strong clustering for sure, but also good and recent evidence that ASD, ADHD, and ASD + ADHD (the community has adopted the term Audhd) are distinct at a genetic level. Those and related comorbidities are tied to dopamine transport, and thought to be strongly impacted by endocrine disruption. Brain scans reveal most differences in the basil ganglia and cerebellum, and then downstream dysfunction in the frontal lobe with executive function and sensory processing issues.

Mostly the benefit is understanding yourself and allowing a measure of grace for your challenges. It helps you calibrate your goals, and be self aware when making decisions that you may be suffering an executive function deficit, and to seek known good supports for managing impulse control challenges.

There was a time when I started taking stimulant meds, but still felt the need to finish off-topic ideas to completion. It took a lot of learning to understand that my instincts need scrutiny, and that I don't have to beat myself up for not being able to do impossible things on a regular basis.

I like myself better. I get more of the important stuff done. I can even relax from time to time. I also accept that I will always have some unique struggles and special abilities.

CBT strategies are probably good for everyone to familiarize themselves with. You can probably use things like grounding at the very least. I found it useful. Some relaxation techniques could be valuable.

Stimulant access is becoming a massive issue these days. I think we need legislation that grants it as a right to people with ADHD or narcolepsy. I think there's even a case for legalization.

Relationships with psychs can be complicated, and the medical industry is not very kind to ADHD. eg. you can get fired by your psych and be abandoned with medication, basically for having ADHD.

People with ADHD are perceived to have behavioral problems. Those same problems can be used as an excuse not to treat you.

I think this is may main takeaway from this thread.

The tendency for poor undiagnosed people to attempt to self-medicate just to feel okay is considered a factor that places them at-risk to abuse the medication in the minds of many, when medicating the ADHD would be extremely helpful to reduce self-medication in many situations.

Adult non-professionals and "losers" who have managed to get diagnosed, a huge hurdle in and of itself, often face an uphill battle to get a prescription, much of which is unnecessary and based in classism and racism.

Adderall is not a very good recreational stimulant.

My friend, we/they have a physical neurological defect that is helped by medication. We are not high.

Like someone who is short sighted benefits from glasses.

I used to drink far too much - that was a way for me to quiet the noise in my head - and now I'm aware (and have meds), I can drink sensibly.

I used to be late for everything - this is because I hate waiting and would rather have been late than have to kill ten minutes doing nothing. Now I know, I give myself things to do before the meeting (or whatever) starts.

I used to have a long-running internal conflict between my need to plan and control everything and my desire to "go with the flow" and take things as they come. Now I understand there are some things that I need to keep tight control over and all the rest I can just let it happen.

It's possible I would have come across these strategies without the diagnosis, but I'm in my late 40s and was only diagnosed last year. I had been failing with all the strategies I had tried and it was resulting in me hating myself and feeling inadequate that I was unable to cope with things everyone else seemed to find easy. But now I know the cause, I know where my boundaries are and what I can and can't "fix".

(As for blood pressure - mine was borderline high but it actually fell once I started taking the meds - I assume this is because I was actually more relaxed and able to cope with life).

Then it hit me like a brick wall. Now I understand the phrase "it was like time stopped." Blinders came off and I felt like I re-evaluated every life experience I'd had in about 30 seconds. Two doctors appointments later I was hearing "Oh yes, you certainly have intense ADHD, the question is just how intense."

ADHD affects so many things as you mention. For me, getting treated has nearly entirely eliminated all forms of anxiety. For instance, I was a socially anxious mess in any sort of group setting; now I intentionally seek out conversations and enjoy telling stories. Some days I hardly recognize the old me. Strange feeling.

But yes, diagnosis + treatment highly recommended. Untreated ADHD increases your risk factors for so many things -- for instance, substance issues (NIH estimates fully 50% of people with substance issues have ADHD whether they know it or not).

Additionally, it's an unknown how long the current acceptance of ADHD (etc) will last in modern / western countries. We could just be going through a limited-time golden period.

That's not the biggest worry. The largest psychological hurdle is seeing how much better your brain is with an illegal medication, and accepting the very uncomfortable truth that a pill that's often maligned, misunderstood, abused, and controlled is the difference between a fulfilling life and a slow spiral into the Abyss. Your fortune is not completely in your control.

As someone that has relied on himself all of his life, this idea still is very hard to live with.

I am interested in if you could elaborate on how ADHD medication helps you with anxiety.

I was told that it can affect my health insurance, my mortgage and that I can't hold certain licenses (Pilot, HGV).

There are some direct consequences to being diagnosed and some indirect ones; and they warn that once the process of getting diagnosed starts; it cannot be stopped.

So, of course, I didn't seek a diagnosis- despite having many ADHD markers.

Regarding the mortgage thing, I had the same feeling as you, but how it works is that mortgages are cheaper if you buy them with private insurance (income protection, life insurance).

For example: Nordea (a bank) and “If” (an insurance company) have a close partnership offering discounts for each others services when buying an apartment or house. Based on the information If gives backs to Nordea there can be greater discounts on mortgages; this worked in my favour previously and I got a 1.34% mortgage when the list price for 3y fixed was 2.1%.

It could be expanded further to say that if “If” considers me too high risk from various factors regarding my health that they would not even offer me health insurance at all, then the bank could use as justification itself that I am high risk and not extend a loan offer.

Mortgages and insurances do profile based on this criteria.

Insurances more so (and more publicly[0]) than mortgages.

[0]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=51dTK2D8DC4

The pilot thing is the same in AU too.

I knew beforehand even (guessed at least), but I put off doing anything about it. I didn't realize how much it was affecting me. And how many unhealthy coping mechanisms I had built up in my life.

FWIW, this is exactly what it's like for me too - "Not enough stimulation and I get distracted easily, too much stimulation and I shut down completely."

Usually fits that niche cause I'm interested but I can live without knowing how many moons does Jupiter have

And with stuff like audiobooks you can't doze off because you loose track, but with this you'd just missed 1 of the 10 things he was talking about

Didn't realise this was a common coping mechanism till I asked around and both my brothers do it (Adult ADHD diagnosis) and one friend (Also diagnosed).

Here's a couple of live streams I regularly listen to:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j4sJkuOPUP8 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jfKfPfyJRdk

And here's a channel that as well as sometimes having a livestream regularly uploads ~1 mixes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCKbkDggYQ0 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_GWyf-35QHI&t=2s

Music also works for me by triggering an emotional state that helps me focus.

I feel like I might "snap" one of these days and start telling people to STFU. The noise is dominated by a couple of people who, for whatever reason, can't seem to modulate their volume. Perhaps there's a name for that disorder as well?

In the meantime, my workplace has "focus rooms" which I use a few times a week. Since there's a box of tissues in there, I refer to them as crying rooms :-).

But my favorites, metal and reggeaton just distracts me too much because of the lyrics.

Getting diagnosed was one of the best thing I could have done. Knowing for sure, being able to use medication (although I limit very strictly how much I use) has been super helpful. I got tested privately, without involving health insurance. I didn't want it to be on any public records.

I did find that Rhodiola, Green Tea extract, Raw Cacao, and low dose of L-DOPA, and Lions mane does make an impact in helping me handle it as now I notice I am starting to get to the point of mind-seeing code which is a first with me in that I have 4+decades of my ADHD being uncontrolled(mind seeing code happens at about the 6 month point after you get the right med doses settled)

Yes. I've listened to some albums 100s of times and they are so familiar they aren't distracting but actually help me focus.

If I listen to something interesting and new it's harder to focus. If I listen to primarily speech (Howard Stern, podcast, etc.) forget it.

I had the same experience as a kid, but I didn't try the noise thing yet.

Mostly, because music leads to very emotional responses.

But, maybe I should try other "sounds". My mind keeps wandering all the time and it's quite stressful.

What's working for me is listening to the same lofi channel, which helps me focus without being disturbed by the music because it's, hmm, generically bland. Like some brain filling. But still enjoyable. (a bit harsh definition for a genre I like)

I become too emotionally invested when I listen to any other kind of music.

So lofi for work!

Those pesky ADHD-Impulsive giving us a bad name.

Same here, diagnosed but I was the most calm and polite kid ever. The hyperactivity is inside my head. There's a hamster running in circles at 9000 RPM and it's never taken a break.

"You're overthinking it", people say to me. You have no idea.

I’d often think about social interactions ahead of time. My brain would create countless situations that I’d play out. Once I exhausted one situation, I jump into analyzing the next possible situation. On and on I’d go.

I’ve only recently been able to quiet down my beehive brain a bit thanks to a few realizations I came to about the damage it was doing to me:

- Even after analyzing 100 different possibilities, reality would often be much different than the scenarios I thought about.

- When the situation didn’t play out exactly as I’d imagined, I’d still react instantly without thinking through the new variances. In my foolishness, the unexpected scenario seemed close enough to the ones I had already thought about, so I’d respond off the cuff.

In reality, things were different enough that a pause to think would’ve been better.

- Thinking through 100 different scenarios also meant going through the emotional baggage that came with them. In my mind, sometimes people reacted positively and sometimes negatively.

Imagining all the negative ways someone could react would lead me to attributing negative feelings to them, even though they haven’t responded negatively.

On the flip side, if I attributed a specific positive outcome to someone that didn’t live up to my exact interpretation, I’d end up feeling disappointed with an outcome I should’ve been happy with.

- Lastly, I’d push to resolve a situation immediately because I didn’t want to go through another beehive of scenarios while waiting to continue the conversation another time.

Sometimes that push to resolve the conflict resulted in a positive breakthrough. However, other times the person would agree to a certain resolution due to sheer exhaustion which leave us with an unsustainable outcome.

Of course, there were other things that helped calm my brain down. Things that helped me take a step towards these realizations and act on them.

Hopefully, my comment can be one of those steps for someone else.

Please share. Great comment, BTW. Enlightening for someone like me who suffers from the same situation and hates himself for it.

It’s tough to share many of the other steps I’ve taken on a public forum. Honestly, I doubt they’d be as helpful as my previous comment because they’re so personal. Because they are so specific to me.

However, I can share that group therapy is the main resource I used to take those steps. I highly recommend it.

What’s nice about group is that I get to hear various perspectives on a situation. Everyone there has gone through somewhat similar struggles but their interpretations of those struggles are different.

As each person speaks, I find a nugget of wisdom that I can use. A bit of insight that I wouldn’t realize on my own. A phrase that finally helps a concept click in my head.

Of course 1-on-1 therapy is helpful too but group is a treasure trove of insight for personal growth.

Yeah, that's not very healthy.

The conversation is imaginary but the emotions are real.

I used to think my ability to deep dive situations was a superpower but it’s really a curse.

Thankfully, I’m learning to shed the worst of it.

Hope you can too.

Anyways, thanks for sharing. It's a little good to know I'm not unique in these tactics.