Before my diagnosis I remember breaking down in my school's counselors office begging her to teach me how to make a friend. It was a lottery based "art school" because my 5th grade teacher thought I would be a good fit there because that's where other "weird" kids were. I hated art, but I went anyway on the advice of my mother. By breaking down, of course, I mean crying hysterically just trying to reach someone to tell me how I could not be doomed to a life of bullying and loneliness. She told me "The best way to make friends is to be a friend." That was her best advice. It was completely useless to me. I thought "What does it mean to be a friend?".

During that time I saw countless psycologists, and was diagnosed with ADHD (wrongly), major depressive disorder (wrongly), and bi-polar disorder (wrongly). I was doped up on so many experimental medications that I have completely forgotten my life from the ages of 12-17. At some point my mother gave up on me and put me in foster care for 2 years. I spent 9 months of that time in jail for doing some pretty scary things. Namely burning down a 3000 gallon trash can (which I did for attention), and my attempt to commit suicide by jumping in front of a semi, which failed and got the police called on me. I tried to commit suicide by cop, which also failed.

I ended up in a couple psych wards. Once at an awful, horrible place called Fox Run, a few others in between, and then finally at a place called Parmadale in Cleveland, Ohio. At Fox Run, the doctor's decided to do an experiment and take me off all the drugs I was on so that I would "reset" and so he could properly diagnose me. He didn't get the chance but he told my social workers that he was concerned that I might be autistic and misdiagnosed. So when I arrived at Parmadale they disregarded my entire history, and evaluated me as I presented there. I was diagnosed with Autism 2 months in.

Later my brain would be used in a series of studies at the OSU Medical Center on diagnosis through brain scans. I recently found out these scans are in several published papers on the subject.

Anyway, Parmadale focused on rebuilding my self-esteem and focused on teaching me social skills, practices and techniques to overcome my disability. I haven't taken any medication since I left that facility at 16 years old. I went onto graduate high school (with honors), and I have a degree in Video Game Design and Development from Fullsail University in Florida. I've worked in software and startups for years, doing everything from interactive media, to web development, to machine learning, to whatever is next. It's taken me several years of practice, but most people I know both personally and professionally now have no idea that I'm autistic. I fake it very well. Occasionally I meet people who tell me later that they had no idea.

Things could have gone very differently without a diagnosis. I am certain that without a diagnosis I would have ended up dead or in prison for a very long time.

So yeah, diagnoses is very important. For many people with this condition it can be life and death. For me it was at least. I'd rather have a million people who are misdiagnosed or just awkward and misrepresenting themselves as having autism than a single unfortunate teenager out there struggling with this disorder and having no idea how to overcome it. Awareness is everything.

As an autistic person it makes me concerned to hear others gatekeeping on this issue or seeing it as the new ADHD. That might be the case, but before you disregard it, please think of that 16 year old kid acting out, lonely, depressed and misdiagnosed because no-one seems to know what's wrong with him. Then ask yourself whether or not that diagnosis and label is important and could help.

To fix any problem, you must first understand what the problem is.

My name is Raymond Chandler III and I am Autistic.

But in your story, a lot of the problems came from people giving you (wrong) diagnoses. dkarl is saying what works for him is just working directly on the constellation of traits he has without looking for a diagnosis. True, things got much better for you when you got the right diagnosis of autism. But as i14ng points out below, autism is "just" a name for a for a constellation of traits similar to dkarl's.

It sounds like your case is a lot worse than dkarl's so I believe you that naming the syndrome was a good thing. But overall, would you have been better or worse off if society just made fewer psych diagnoses and you never had the right or the wrong ones, but people just helped you work directly on your traits?

I don't think it's worth speculating on the past, on whether one approach would have been generally better than the other. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I do believe in one aspect of the argument, and that is one of empathy. If you see someone struggling with something, or they are exhibiting a "trait" that you think isn't normal, then finding a way to help them is a worthy goal.

I think the problem here is trying to understand and define what is "normal" and what "traits" are worth looking out for. This is where things start to devolve in philosophical disagreements. As other commenters have said in the thread, there is a difference between being socially shy, having extreme social anxiety, and being autistic. Even in the realm of the autism spectrum you have different issues and presentations to address. When is something actually a problem? How do you identify the problem, and then how do you address that problem?

I don't think it's as black and white as we want to believe. I think labels and diagnosis can help, and they can hurt. The most important thing is to be aware, and to have empathy and compassion for others.

I'm happy they gave you a reset at Parmadale after all that shit.

You write you're faking it very well in personal and professional life, and I wonder, if you'd act like you are, how would you tell people anyways before they'd just stop talking with you.

I've written about this on the web in the past, but then would go back later and edit or delete a post because I didn't want people to trace it back to me personally. I think I'm done with that.

I think people need to see that having moderate Autism isn't a social death sentence with the right treatment and hard work. That's why I attached my name to this post. If people want to stop talking to me because of it, then that is on them.

Back in the early naughts I had programmed a blog-software (before know what blogs are) and used it for my ramblings. Someone from my class (I'd say he was in my circle, not sure if he'd considered me a friend, in retrospect) discovered it and one day said something like "suicide is a form of self-critique". I don't think my writing was that bad.

All the autistic people I know are actually quite affectionate too -- more than non-autistic people. That's just anecdotal, I know. For at least one person I know, I think that's quite a gift.

I was lucky enough to get off the meds extremely quickly (2 weeks as I recall, I told my mother I hated them - she took me off after noticing how lifeless they made me). I was lucky enough to move countries, to a new school with fresh schoolmates and friends - somehow a school with the most beautifully accepting people you've ever met. With just that one chance that "normal" people gave me, I turned completely and you simply wouldn't believe that I am autistic today.

I've overcome a lot less than you and I am proud of it, I can't imagine how proud you must be.

You know, after Parmadale something similar happened with me. I ended up moving in with my Dad in Indiana and attended a new community high school out there. I was still one of the weird kids (and hung out with the Goths and Nerds), but the bullying stopped and I had a chance to be happy and to focus on schooling. I think a lot of who I am today is a result of that decision to be with my Dad for awhile and to be given the chance at a fresh start.

> I've overcome a lot less than you and I am proud of it, I can't imagine how proud you must be.

I wouldn't sell yourself short. ;p Anyone who's fighting a personal struggle no matter how big, or how small should feel good about winning. I think telling others that these battles can be won has the benefit of reminding those still struggling that they can win too. :)

I'm proud of you!

Why are people accepting this events so lightheartedly?

Teachers are not really equipped to deal with it either.

A loved one is going through a similar experience (though struggling with the schizophrenia spectrum). I would love to ask you a few questions but couldn't find any contact info in your profile here.

Is there a way that I can get in touch with you? (My email is in my profile; if you send me a short note so that I can have your email, I'll followup).

I particularly curious about the experiment they discussed at Fox Run, with taking you off all the drugs to reset you for a proper diagnosis. Did they try it? Did it work? Is this a standard diagnostic procedure?

Thank you.

I would be happy to answer any questions you have but your email doesn't show up for me on your profile. The easiest way to reach me would be on reddit. Send me a PM. My username is kitanata2.

> I particularly curious about the experiment they discussed at Fox Run, with taking you off all the drugs to reset you for a proper diagnosis. Did they try it?

At Fox Run they did take me off all the drugs I was on. Some were weened off over the course of a few weeks, and some were just ended. I believe there was a concern about the abruptness of ending the medication potentially causing epilepsy. The withdraw was terrible and took weeks to get past. I spent many days in a corner twirling a pencil and being "spaced out" during that period. There isn't much I remember about Fox Run expect a rather traumatic experience when I first arrived (which I don't want to discuss publicly), and then a positive that the food there was excellent. Some of the best scrambled eggs I ever had. :D I find it better to remember and focus on the good things, rather than the bad.

> Did it work?

That depends on your definition of "work" here. The goal I think was to remove me from medication, and then observe me for diagnosis because the medications I was on (and there were a lot of them) caused behavioral changes in me. Fox Run didn't actually do the diagnosis of me. I believe that occurred while I was at Parmadale. I am sure that had my diagnosis been different, they would have placed me back on medication to address that specific diagnosis, but it was determined that I didn't need medication because I was autistic and not mentally ill as previously thought. I want to be careful here. I didn't need medication. That doesn't mean other people don't need medication for their specific diagnosis. I am not a doctor, but I think generally taking people off medication is probably a pretty risky proposition.

> Is this a standard diagnostic procedure?

I don't know. I'm not a doctor. :(

For me, it was freeing in that allowed me to understand why I was sometimes failing in some areas and that it wasn't just a personal failing on my part.

It's also practically useful as reading descriptions of other autistic people's experiences allows me to predict when I might struggle with a situation, to coomunicate more clearly about, and sometimes to recognise that feelings (of e.g. anxiety) are irrational and don't necessarily need to be acted on.

Furthermore, by reading I can come to understand the differences between myself and neurotypical people and come to a learnt understanding of societal norms that are self-evident to others, thus allowing myself to interact better with others in future situations.

Of course a formal diagnosis isn't necessary for any of this. But for some it might be the easiest way to realise that they are in fact autistic.

I've often struggled in social situations, I've had problems with friends, and I've had friends simply laugh at me "Oh my god, you're so strange some times" and just take the piss out of me and the things I do / I've done.

Sometimes it hasn't mattered, other times it's really bugged me as I've not understood why I'm the one at fault / why I'm the weird one, and why it's not them that's weird for not thinking the way I do.

Getting informally diagnosed has helped heaps, and resulted in a lot of internal turmoil being significantly subdued. I'm a lot calmer and a lot more secure in my sense of self.

I still operate with a "mask" or "game face" in a range of social situations to avoid standing out like a sore thumb, but I no longer feel the need to ply myself with masses of alcohol to drown the inner turmoil, and I no longer fear the occasional inevitable moment where I'm going to put my foot in it, as I now have an easy narrative to jokingly explain my faux pas away ("oh my gosh, I can be so aspie sometimes, sorry!").

I also no longer obsess about events to try and better understand where things have gone wrong, again caused by wondering "what's wrong with me?" as I now understand that there's nothing wrong with me, I'm just wired a bit differently.

I don't feel the need to get a formal diagnosis, as I now feel like I finally understand myself. Ultimately, life just feels better now.

Do you ever imagine yourself to be a robot? Or do you memorize and rehearse things to say in social situations?

I often feel like I am operating a virtual machine at social gatherings. I tunnel in and give myself commands to operate like a normal human being, but I take absolutely no pleasure from the social interactions. I also get EXTREMELY tired, very quickly, even though I am able to function for a brief period at a fairly high level.

My "mask" is more me playing a character who doesn't have these issues, who understands social cues better and is able to respond in a more socially acceptable way. It's a logical step change in my mind, but ultimately a draining one. After too long, I just need to be left alone for a few hours to recharge.

> I'm curious about your "mask" statement. I have that same feeling, and experience with alcohol.

Same, but I still drink a lot. It helps clear my mind. It's really apparent when two distinct groups of friends meet and the masks that I used for each set (which tend to be different) need to be reconciled. That can be uncomfortable.

> Do you ever imagine yourself to be a robot?

Oh hell yes, when I was younger (I'm nearly 40 now) especially. I desperately wanted to be a robot. Now, I mostly just love robots, and have built them (https://sendcat.com/dl/LcVKl5kWv6LJZEYusgVq9bLoieURiffZX7cKa...).

> Or do you memorize and rehearse things to say in social situations?

Kinda, but not in the "rehearsing a talk" sort of way. I do pick things that I've heard and apply them in other similar social situations though.

> I often feel like I am operating a virtual machine at social gatherings.

I've had that feeling, also that it feels like a game at times. Interestingly it feels like I'm creating a neural network of how what to do and say, but not the one in my brain, one of my own making.

> I tunnel in and give myself commands to operate like a normal human being, but I take absolutely no pleasure from the social interactions.

I think at this point playing the game has become almost transparent to me, it turns out I'm pretty good at it. I've developed a set of behaviours that work in most situations I find myself in (user groups (talks, the bar after), conferences, weddings, etc. etc.) and I do enjoy the friends I've made at the local Ruby and Go groups.

I do still have to force myself to do certain things though. Ask about people etc. Switch the conversation from what I want to talk about to them.

> I also get EXTREMELY tired, very quickly, even though I am able to function for a brief period at a fairly high level.

Social situations tire me too, though I can definitely manage full conference days or weeks of company meetup if I push myself. Towards the end I'll just spend hours by myself recharging, put on a smile and throw myself out there again.

It's tiring, but ultimately rewarding. I've made friends, I've had good jobs etc.

There are many aspects of an autistic's life that a non-autistic simply cannot comprehend, and so it's unlikely that anyone but another autistic would have figured out ways to deal with them, and how to better fit into the neurotypical world.

I also guarantee that you have many behavioral quirks and ways of thinking that are VASTLY different from the majority, and that you're unaware of them because you haven't yet recognized the difference from a "normal" person. Learning these things makes other peoples behaviors and reactions to you a lot less baffling, and is the first step in improving relationships.

The sheer volume of literature and people that become areas of interest and information once you are aware of your autism is what makes a diagnosis (self or professional) worthwhile.

Well, that's the thing. I don't really have those. According to my therapist, I wouldn't be diagnosed based on my behavior in the years she's known me. However, the stories I've told her about my childhood seemed pretty striking to her, and the outward manifestations of mild autism often diminish over time, so she suggested it might have been a significant factor in my childhood without being apparent at this point in my life. Hence the need for a specialist to diagnose me.

People find the diagnosis important because it leads them to information they need in order to understand themselves better, and to improve their handling of the world and people around them.

With a professional saying that they have a condition that's beyond their control, and labeling it for them, it helps them say "I'm different, but it's not my fault."

It shouldn't matter. Be different if you want to. Don't give in to peer pressure.

But that just isn't how people work. Most people actively want to be liked and to fit it, even if it's not in their nature to do it effortlessly. And it bothers them when they aren't doing it well.

I think it was easier when I just saw it as peer pressure. In fact, I think the teenage maelstrom of awful social bullshit made it too easy for me to hope that maybe I wasn't the problem. Then everyone grew up, people got a lot nicer, and I had to face up to the fact that I was constantly screwing up social situations that should be very easy for everyone involved. Encountering someone friendly at a social event who wants to talk to me and is curious about where I'm from and what I do. Seeing someone who feels awkward and out of place in a situation where the right words from me could put them at ease and make them feel welcome. After talking to me these people can feel less comfortable than they did before, and not eager for a second encounter. A poor social performance can undermine good feelings and compound bad ones. When I was a kid and was a misfit for a lot of reasons, many of them positive, I could frame it as simply "not fitting in," but now I have every advantage and every opportunity and I realize I still have to be right on top of my game to avoid bringing bad feelings into the world for other people.

Why can't I do what they can? Without a diagnosis, the answer to that question can be "because I am a failure as a human being", leading to erosion of self-worth. But being able to answer "because I have a handicap" (due to the mental condition) helps think more constructively about how to work around the handicap, rather than just expect to be able to overcome it.

In this thread, there an insightful comment that reads: it's like realizing that you are short... after decades of being told that the only reason you can't reach as high as most people is because you are lazy.

When you said "people often use it as an excuse to not work towards improving themselves", that is exactly what the author of the comment meant by "being told [that they're] lazy". No matter how much a short person "work[s] towards improving themselves", they will not get taller. They instead find ways to work around the issue, like carrying stepladders with them.

Keep in mind, that if we had never invented glasses, a huge swath of the world's population would be considered to be handicapped. And the ones that weren't, who have only experienced poor eyesight due to dust or tears in their eyes (temporary conditions, just like feeling sad would be in comparison to depression), they could very well share your attitude, and insist that people just need to "look harder".

> [...]

> In this thread, there an insightful comment that reads: it's like realizing that you are short... after decades of being told that the only reason you can't reach as high as most people is because you are lazy.

> When you said "people often use it as an excuse to not work towards improving themselves", that is exactly what the author of the comment meant by "being told [that they're] lazy". No matter how much a short person "work[s] towards improving themselves", they will not get taller. They instead find ways to work around the issue, like carrying stepladders with them.

Or summarized more concisely: One needs a diagnosis because other people are simply a##holes.

However, I was thinking more about people labelling themselves internally, which is what the linked article focuses on. In that case, thinking of one's self as handicapped can be beneficial, which is what the article presents example of.

Since there is a medical professional involved in the diagnosis, they should be able to steer the patient towards the mindset that would be most beneficial for them, given each individual's circumstances. Repeated sessions work towards helping psychiatrists figure out, as you say, "which exact behaviours can be attributed to autism and which to personal development", and they can advise accordingly.

Minor nitpick: you said "psychologists", when "psychiatrists" would be more accurate. The latter are medical professionals who have gone through at least 14 years of study and practice, including a residency at a hospital, and they are the ones who are able to diagnose and prescribe medications. They are doctors, in the full sense of that word. Psychologists are not medical professionals (but that doesn't mean they're not useful).

I consider the mistake rather in the assumption that there is free will. If you simply get free of the dogma that there is free will, something like "fault" simply does not even make sense to formulate anymore. EDIT: And you surely already found out beforehand on your own that you are different.

When someone says, "Nothing is wrong with me, I'm just autistic" they might feel as though they can stop predicting how they'll respond in a certain situation—or as a result of a certain decision—based on what others expect of them. Instead they have the opportunity to anticipate themselves without judgement and stop doing things that hurt them.

Normality puts bias mainly on the WHAT in "what you're after". The streetlight-effect is about the idea that you think you'll find what you're looking for by looking at the available information.

The concern is: a complex human being with a ton of influences and factors cannot be diagnosed in ways we don't know how to diagnose. So, diagnoses represent the street-lit areas of knowledge, the stuff we understand somewhat. It's possible that the deeper insights come from places that we don't understand well and don't know how to diagnosis (so are like the dark areas where it's harder to find what you're looking for, but where the thing you're looking for might actually be).

The point is: if a diagnosis really is the insight you need, then great. But it's not NECESSARILY. So, it's not true that getting the diagnosis is always worthwhile. There's a cost to spending time getting diagnosed for things and it might be at the expense of not spending time elsewhere. And in SOME cases, the diagnosis doesn't even approach the area where the real issues are.

In short, the street-light-effect says: "if we figure out how to measure something, we can risk ignoring the enormous significance of all the things we don't know how to measure".

The "streetlight effect" isn't about the light it's about the searcher being silly by looking only where things are already lit up even though that's sometimes not where the thing they are looking for is.

The value of a diagnosis depends on the situation. For someone already overly distracted by wondering what's going on, a diagnosis provides relief from that. For someone just living their life and doing all they already can to get by and not worrying about these things, a diagnosis that wouldn't change their treatment/behavior seems just costly.

Things are generally only considered "disorders" when they prevent you from leading a normal life, with ability of advancing in a career, forming meaningful relationships, etc. For example, Trump may well exhibit the symptoms of Narcissistic Personality Disorder, but it clearly does not get in the way of his life, and he's able to accomplish goals that he sets out. Thus, he cannot be said to have a "disorder".

Also, for many of us, psychiatric diagnosis and treatment isn't "costly", it's free. And if you meant opportunity cost, patients generally have the freedom to stop treatment if they feel that the costs overweight the benefits.

I have spent most of my life unable to really understand many of the fundamentals of what I now know is "normal" social interaction and now I get to draw a line under it, realize I am what I am, and not waste time trying to "get it" any longer because now I know I'm simply not equipped to. To put a metaphor on it, to me it feels as if I were blind but grew up in a world that never told me I was, but now I know I am, I can be OK with it and cope as best I can.

So, I think everyone's experiences differ. For me, the diagnosis has been a total game-changer.

I've often felt the same way about the need to label one's self in order to have an identity. But I can empathize with people who have some kind of undefined handicap/limitation and ultimately find solace in a label and sense of community.

For example, pretty much anyone over the age of 40 who has dyslexia will tell you how cathartic it was to be diagnosed when previously they were just regarded as stupid or lazy. A diagnosis meant that they had a medical condition that they could overcome (or at least manage). If they were simply stupid then it meant there was no hope for them. So their new, better, label mattered.

However, one could argue that pretty much anyone who suffers from any kind of limitation...is suffering from some kind of medical malady. Perhaps, in the future, people we will create new labels and therapies for many of the currently unlabelled, but afflicted, people as well.

However, for the therapist it might matter more. There's some evidence, for example, that CBT, which is used for anxiety, among other things, can actually worsen the situation in someone who is on the spectrum.

Furthermore, it's kind of unavoidable at this point because a diagnosis is often required for health insurance purposes, as I understand it.

I wish I had the article at hand, but as I recall the problem with CBT can be that it still focuses too much on the mind and thinking as a way to solve things, which can exacerbate the ASD tendency to, well, overthink in circles and get lost in (ineffective) rumination. I think the article argued that DBT could be better in those cases (perhaps because it's even more 'mindfulness/meditation' in nature??).

But I've also heard/read that DBT is kind of the Vue.js to psychology's React.js, in that it's 'New And Improved' but not quite as well-tested.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autism_rights_movement

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neurodiversity

I though Autism/Asperger has some genetic backing? At least the wikipedia article I link below has quite a list of candidate gene loci.

Here's a quote from https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritability_of_autism

> Autism concordance in siblings and fraternal twins is anywhere between 0 and 23.5%. This is more likely 2–4% for classic autism and 10–20% for a broader spectrum. Assuming a general-population prevalence of 0.1%, the risk of classic autism in siblings is 20- to 40-fold that of the general population.

Heritibility is not hard to determine even if no specific genes are known. Mendel did this with plants even before chromosomes were discovered. So we can say simple things like the odds of offspring having autism - which isn't based on a specific gene but rather the dominance/recessiveness of the underlying genetic factors computed by census/survey/sampling data.

So yes, there is a genetic disease that causes neurological changes, autism - but it isn't correct to label all inward children as having that gene. Symptomatic diseases can have multiple disparate genetic causes - and we usually separate these into different diseases even if the symptoms are extremely similar.

There's a spectrum of orientation between "just give me names for parts of who I am so I can understand myself and find a community of similar people" and "tell me everything most people think is wrong with me so I can fix it yesterday". I suspect we all fall at different points along that spectrum depending on the supposed or actual deviation from the norm in question.

Personal example: I don't care that I'm geekier than the norm; it's not something I desire to change though it feels good to know there are others like me. This doesn't change just because I'd have a wider selection of friends if only I learned to have more "normal" interests.

On the other hand, if I have a nervous tick or other part of my personality that the majority of people I see everyday find annoying, I want to know about it and fix it. I don't want to label it and then feel proud of being one of those people. I don't want to start an advocacy group or a hashtag. I want to eliminate that behavior immediately.

Same person, entirely different points along that spectrum.

The label has a net-positive value in that it can allow others, and yourself, to forgive more easily. Now if we could just learn to forgive without the labels, that'd be really valuable.

People change the past all the time, for tons of reasons. But specific to this topic, a powerful tool in a therapist's toolbox is 'reframing', where you look at your experiences and find some new perspective. You change your narrative to have more compassion for yourself and the other players (or lay blame on someone more deserving) so that you can move past it now.

One aspect of that can be identifying that you had some special need that wasn't met. Or that your parents or siblings did. Everyone was trying but they weren't equipped to give you what you needed, and it was what it was. Especially for newly diagnosed conditions, your parents 20 years ago wouldn't have had access to the info you have now.

So a diagnosis can in some cases help people reframe all of this stuff.

I find this is the case with most mental health diagnoses. They can be valuable from a treatment perspective, sometimes, but most of the time it just lets someone feel sorry for themselves or excuse poor behavior. You don't get to mope around just because you're depressed, and you don't get to be a dick just because you're on the spectrum.

There’s a misunderstanding that diagnosis of autism is finding a cause for some traits. The reality of the DSM is that autism literally is a list of traits - a shorthand renaming of the list. There’s no implication that it’s a single condition, or a discrete condition, or has any known cause, or explains anything. https://intellectualizing.net/2013/12/17/book-rethinking-aut...

Naming or categorizing isn’t the same as explaining!

Anyway kind of a pedantic point I guess but maybe autism explains the need to make those :-)

I do think there’s value to finding kindred spirits and community, which categories and names can help with.

The moment I was diagnosed with Asperger's, and started searching for resources about that, I remember being astounded at how all the stories and descriptions were either exactly on point, or at least much more so than what I'd read before.

I've had the same experience with friendships. Most of my close friends, historically, suffered from various disorders, ranging from BPD, narcissism, ADD, chronic depression, bipolar disorder, etc. A big part of what made us 'click' was the different-ness, and yet there was always something lost in translation that wasn't so with most others I know with autism/asperger's.

Clearly, there's a lot we don't understand about ASD. And maybe we'll one day have various ways of labelling subtypes better. But in my experience and those of many people I know, there is something specific enough about ASD (even as a much vaguer label than Asperger's) to warrant a specific label.

I don't have as strong an opinion on this as I thought initially, because I do see that the label can be rather 'heavy', perhaps enough so that the benefits don't outweigh the cost. But at least right now, despite the pretty serious negative effects I've felt 'taking on' the label, I feel I'm better off with it. Maybe that's just something that some of us need to go through...

Diversity becomes deficiency (or a diagnosable illness, or whatever) when it interferes with ones' path through life or enjoyment of life. In other words, when it becomes a problem.

If everyone around you is happy behaving socially and you are not, you have a problem.

Having a problem doesn't mean your condition need be considered pathological.

The majority is always sane.

The same goes for the tendency to mechanically pigeonhole others - it is what it is, a mania for rigidly organizing the (supposedly) rigidly organizing. It sees its own whimsical image in the mirror and explodes with delight.

Because when it's accurate it offers a biological rather than moral causal explanation, and makes it easier to identify and apply workarounds.

It won't fix things overnight, but it will streamline your cognitive process and with practice you'll find it easier to adjust to other people.