You are right about the importance of understanding problems.

But in your story, a lot of the problems came from people giving you (wrong) diagnoses. dkarl is saying what works for him is just working directly on the constellation of traits he has without looking for a diagnosis. True, things got much better for you when you got the right diagnosis of autism. But as i14ng points out below, autism is "just" a name for a for a constellation of traits similar to dkarl's.

It sounds like your case is a lot worse than dkarl's so I believe you that naming the syndrome was a good thing. But overall, would you have been better or worse off if society just made fewer psych diagnoses and you never had the right or the wrong ones, but people just helped you work directly on your traits?

> But overall, would you have been better or worse off if society just made fewer psych diagnoses and you never had the right or the wrong ones, but people just helped you work directly on your traits?

I don't think it's worth speculating on the past, on whether one approach would have been generally better than the other. Hindsight is 20/20, right?

I do believe in one aspect of the argument, and that is one of empathy. If you see someone struggling with something, or they are exhibiting a "trait" that you think isn't normal, then finding a way to help them is a worthy goal.

I think the problem here is trying to understand and define what is "normal" and what "traits" are worth looking out for. This is where things start to devolve in philosophical disagreements. As other commenters have said in the thread, there is a difference between being socially shy, having extreme social anxiety, and being autistic. Even in the realm of the autism spectrum you have different issues and presentations to address. When is something actually a problem? How do you identify the problem, and then how do you address that problem?

I don't think it's as black and white as we want to believe. I think labels and diagnosis can help, and they can hurt. The most important thing is to be aware, and to have empathy and compassion for others.

Thanks for your honesty, man. This was an incredible read.

Man, you ticked off everything before you even started a bucket list (good and evil!).

I'm happy they gave you a reset at Parmadale after all that shit.

You write you're faking it very well in personal and professional life, and I wonder, if you'd act like you are, how would you tell people anyways before they'd just stop talking with you.

Well, I have had a policy of hiding and denying it for awhile because I fear professional reprisal or being treated differently. There are very few people in my circle of friends (and even relatives) that know I'm autistic, again because it's a deeply personal thing and because I don't want to be treated differently from others.

I've written about this on the web in the past, but then would go back later and edit or delete a post because I didn't want people to trace it back to me personally. I think I'm done with that.

I think people need to see that having moderate Autism isn't a social death sentence with the right treatment and hard work. That's why I attached my name to this post. If people want to stop talking to me because of it, then that is on them.

Professionally you'll be put into situations that you are just not cut for, so you better tell them before they get disappointed. I mean, I'm doing this programming for more than a decade, somewhat expected by the boss (who I worked for before I realized me being an aspie) to guide a team in a nice and friendly manner (I don't know, is that all just about sending smiley faces on slack? I work remote, with language and timezones between us).

Back in the early naughts I had programmed a blog-software (before know what blogs are) and used it for my ramblings. Someone from my class (I'd say he was in my circle, not sure if he'd considered me a friend, in retrospect) discovered it and one day said something like "suicide is a form of self-critique". I don't think my writing was that bad.

Congratulations on your choice! I don't think there's anything wrong with having autistic business partners, employees, lovers, spouses, children, relatives, or friends. Anyone who does is ignorant and/or ultimately not worthy of your time. Autism is not a death sentence of any kind. High-functioning autism is often barely noticeable in adults, and more severe forms often not crippling either. You won't stop being autistic, but you'll learn how to cope and make the most of life.

All the autistic people I know are actually quite affectionate too -- more than non-autistic people. That's just anecdotal, I know. For at least one person I know, I think that's quite a gift.

I just want to echo your story because it is almost identical to mine (right down to the incorrect diagnoses). I was bullied to the point where I developed a colossal thrombosis in my arm. We had no idea until I was 16, which is when my parents became aware of these types of issues.

I was lucky enough to get off the meds extremely quickly (2 weeks as I recall, I told my mother I hated them - she took me off after noticing how lifeless they made me). I was lucky enough to move countries, to a new school with fresh schoolmates and friends - somehow a school with the most beautifully accepting people you've ever met. With just that one chance that "normal" people gave me, I turned completely and you simply wouldn't believe that I am autistic today.

I've overcome a lot less than you and I am proud of it, I can't imagine how proud you must be.

I am happy to hear that you had a chance to attend a new school with accepting and empathetic people.

You know, after Parmadale something similar happened with me. I ended up moving in with my Dad in Indiana and attended a new community high school out there. I was still one of the weird kids (and hung out with the Goths and Nerds), but the bullying stopped and I had a chance to be happy and to focus on schooling. I think a lot of who I am today is a result of that decision to be with my Dad for awhile and to be given the chance at a fresh start.

> I've overcome a lot less than you and I am proud of it, I can't imagine how proud you must be.

I wouldn't sell yourself short. ;p Anyone who's fighting a personal struggle no matter how big, or how small should feel good about winning. I think telling others that these battles can be won has the benefit of reminding those still struggling that they can win too. :)

I'm proud of you!

I'm shocked that nobody commented on the horrible way you've been treated: misdiagnosis, bullying, being labeled "weird" and given poor advice even by your own teachers, being experimented on and then even incarcerated.

Why are people accepting this events so lightheartedly?

Because kids are horrible and there is no way to fix this. Anything short of Orwellian surveillance and super fast responsiveness that is - or segregation which is wrong for other reasons. Or reducing class sizes to less than 5 kids each and keeping an edge directly on them even during breaks. Unworkable for theoretically economic reasons.

Teachers are not really equipped to deal with it either.

Out of 6 forms of abuse I mentioned five were carried on by adults.

Hi Raymond. Thank you for sharing your powerful story.

A loved one is going through a similar experience (though struggling with the schizophrenia spectrum). I would love to ask you a few questions but couldn't find any contact info in your profile here.

Is there a way that I can get in touch with you? (My email is in my profile; if you send me a short note so that I can have your email, I'll followup).

I particularly curious about the experiment they discussed at Fox Run, with taking you off all the drugs to reset you for a proper diagnosis. Did they try it? Did it work? Is this a standard diagnostic procedure?

Thank you.

I'm sorry to hear of your loved one who is struggling. I hope they are able to find some peace and a way to live a happy and fulfilling life.

I would be happy to answer any questions you have but your email doesn't show up for me on your profile. The easiest way to reach me would be on reddit. Send me a PM. My username is kitanata2.

> I particularly curious about the experiment they discussed at Fox Run, with taking you off all the drugs to reset you for a proper diagnosis. Did they try it?

At Fox Run they did take me off all the drugs I was on. Some were weened off over the course of a few weeks, and some were just ended. I believe there was a concern about the abruptness of ending the medication potentially causing epilepsy. The withdraw was terrible and took weeks to get past. I spent many days in a corner twirling a pencil and being "spaced out" during that period. There isn't much I remember about Fox Run expect a rather traumatic experience when I first arrived (which I don't want to discuss publicly), and then a positive that the food there was excellent. Some of the best scrambled eggs I ever had. :D I find it better to remember and focus on the good things, rather than the bad.

> Did it work?

That depends on your definition of "work" here. The goal I think was to remove me from medication, and then observe me for diagnosis because the medications I was on (and there were a lot of them) caused behavioral changes in me. Fox Run didn't actually do the diagnosis of me. I believe that occurred while I was at Parmadale. I am sure that had my diagnosis been different, they would have placed me back on medication to address that specific diagnosis, but it was determined that I didn't need medication because I was autistic and not mentally ill as previously thought. I want to be careful here. I didn't need medication. That doesn't mean other people don't need medication for their specific diagnosis. I am not a doctor, but I think generally taking people off medication is probably a pretty risky proposition.

> Is this a standard diagnostic procedure?

I don't know. I'm not a doctor. :(

Thank you for your touching honesty.