You may greatly enjoy this clip: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJ3v2oGm6Sk.
> it was the thing that took my crushing anxiety away.
Paradoxically it's also the thing that creates the crushing anxiety when abused. One day at a time, be kind to yourself, life is a journey.
Starting drinking every night is so easy, but stopping altogether is so hard. very commendable to those who decide to stop.
Beyond the western borders of this little town, the tech gold rush has both expanded to epic proportions, affecting all the economies in the world, and also gone through enough booms and busts that the phrase "gold rush" seems somehow off.
As more and more young'uns join and jaded veterans return to throng the tavern alike, it often seems to be on the brink of either exploding with the largest gun fight in history, or jumping the shark.
And yet, against all odds, it retains its original magnetism - drawing throngs that grow in number and diversity while seers like [https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=patio11](https://news.y... and [https://news.ycombinator.com/threads?id=tptacek](https://new... continue to return - dispensing worldly wisdom worth its weight in gold from corner tables.
The secret is the man at the corner of the bar @dang, always around with a friendly smile and a towel on his shoulder. The only sheriff in the west who still doubles as the friendly bartender: always polite, always willing to break up a fight with kind words and clean up messes himself.
Yes a cold-hard look from him is all it takes to get most outlaws to back down, yes, his Colt-45 "moderator" edition is feared by all men, but the real secret to his success: his earnest passion (some call it an obsession) for the seemingly sisyphean task of sustaining good conflict - letting it simmer but keeping it all times below the boiling point based on "the code":
"Conflict is essential to human life, whether between different aspects of oneself, between oneself and the environment, between different individuals or between different groups. It follows that the aim of healthy living is not the direct elimination of conflict, which is possible only by forcible suppression of one or other of its antagonistic components, but the toleration of it—the capacity to bear the tensions of doubt and of unsatisfied need and the willingness to hold judgement in suspense until finer and finer solutions can be discovered which integrate more and more the claims of both sides. It is the psychologist's job to make possible the acceptance of such an idea so that the richness of the varieties of experience, whether within the unit of the single personality or in the wider unit of the group, can come to expression."
May the last great tavern in the West and it's friendly bartender-sheriff live long and prosper.
To OP, wishing you the best on a successful recovery and happy times ahead.
Thank you, stranger, and I wish you well on your journey.
"Alcohol is the only drug on earth you have to justify not taking."
Is there any truth to this or am I stuck in my head?
Coffee on the other hand. coffee is life. coffee is purpose. all hail the elixir of the dark lord!
in all seriousness though, I drink like a whole pot just to take up in the mornings. black
I find this quote really interesting. Growing up in a western country where people drink a lot of alcohol, not necessarily for the enjoyment of it but to get "hammered". I've countless times defended myself for both friends, family and new and existing co-workers for why I don't drink, and these people look at me like I'm some sort of alien. According to "these people" I am in fact a weirdo, because I've spoken about the affects of caffeine, taking cold showers/baths, fasting etc etc.
I'm not sure where I'm going with this, however, I hope there'll be a time where it's "acceptable" to go out with your friends, family or co-workers, and not be expected to drink alcohol or excluded just because you won't inject your body with legal "poison".
Note: I have nothing against people who drinks alcohol, but let's just enjoy each other's company and don't force it on me. Thanks.
Passion is an awesome word in this context. Meaning: irresistible motive, intensely emotional heat, rage, or love. That is love for you (yourself) - the good non-narcissistic kind of self care. And you're getting a reward. Abstinence does not have to be suffering. Thanks for sharing this. Carry on.
The anxiety cycle led to some existential problems.
I'm trying to reconfigure my relationship with booze. If I can't, I'll drop it altogether.
Good luck to you.
My local friends are all moderate to heavy drinkers, but they also respect my choice and it’s not awkward to be the only one not drinking. If you don’t have a friend group which respects your choice, try to find social groups based around an activity. Otherwise it could be very difficult.
Best of luck on your journey.
My extra two cents: generally refuse to answer "why" and the "how long" questions. My personal responses are "because I won the drinking game" and "not long enough". I find these to be more far more truthful and useful of answers anyway.
But I think I would be remiss if I didn’t leave this here. Victories are nice but it a long journey…
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are halfway through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self- seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook on life will change. Fear of people and economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that A higher power is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us - sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.
Written by an anonymous recovering drunk…
I've recently decided that I can't deal with hangovers when I over-indulge or even the negative impacts on my sleep of a single beer.
It's a real societal struggle to be completely dry, but when I break it down logically the pros to having a drink or two don't outweigh the cons.
I successfully made it through tonight and will hopefully have many more successful nights. Love and strength to anyone else out there in a similar boat.