In the update[1] he says it's calming and makes him feel safe. He's happier after doing it.

It doesn't sound so bad. I mean, it's gotta be healthier than so called idle games, and about as useful. Or similar to lifting weights or jogging or something. It makes him feel good, that's all the justification any non-harmful activity should need.

[1] Mods removed it on Reddit. Archive.org: http://web.archive.org/web/20220417170609/https://old.reddit...

That makes it more concerning, not less. A quirky hobby stops being quirky when it starts filling a psychological need. Fast forward three months and dude might not want to ever leave his tunnel. Why would he? He feels calm and safe there.

Things get hairy at that second level. If you feel psychologically unsafe in your day-to-day life, there’s something wrong - either with your environment or the way you perceive it - that a tunnel can’t fix.

This is a story of escalating isolation. He's isolating from society, from people who care about him and whom, we presume, he cares about. (Or maybe not. Maybe he gets along fine at work and at church, and is simply uninterested in his SO.)

It wouldn’t surprise me if he does the tunnel so he doesn’t spend so much time with her, but can’t say it or manage whatever is going on with him.

Random armchair psychologist from afar of course.

Agreed, but once he unleashes the Balrog it will be a bit too late. Then the area will be a Superfund site for generations until some grey guy shows up with a stick & an attitude.

Did you have an activity to turn a log into a paddle?

Two main characters were meeting after-school to dig a tunnel, although their motivation was a little bit deeper (sorry, I couldn't help myself) than just digging itself.

…just be careful. There’s a man in the middle of the tunnel who will try to take your stuff.

https://www.thoughtco.com/the-channel-tunnel-1779429

so that the two tunnels meet in the middle ...

If he’s healthy, I also agree that this hobby is probably not bad for mental health.

Or it's a hobby...

edit: I had no idea Terry Davies passed away in 2018; he'd occasionally drop in on HN comment threads about his OS.

1. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/TempleOS

2. https://templeos.org/

Dig the fucking tunnel.

Regardless, I consider anyone operating in humanity to be mentally ill in general. It’s just, how much of your mental illness impacts the rest of us, and how much of it is abstracted away so we can quickly label it harmless (mostly to the rest of us).

Digging a tunnel the closest shit to “ain’t bothering me” as it’s going to get.

Now, if your nonsense pushes you to monopolize industries and abuse labor for profit, yeah, now your mental illness is on blast.

———

Few would consider that the GF is mentally ill, so obsessed with how it would look to others, so obsessed with how it’s non conforming.

If they're in a rural area where those aren't potential issues and the boyfriend doesn't want to change, then the partner simply has to decide if they can live with the new situation. I think we'd agree on that.

---

I'm confused on your comments about reading into the partner's mental health. I see no indication in their post saying they're concerned about how it looks to others. As for non-conforming, they seem to be somewhat accepting, stating that they haven't made it a big issue before because the boyfriend seems relatively happy. They specifically say, "My biggest concern is his safety". That seems reasonable. Major behavioral changes on the other hand would be a bigger warning sign. (while acknowledging that a red flag doesn't mean there's an actual issue)

EDIT: From an update [1] here's why the boyfriend says he does it: "It’s just pleasant. When I’m down there, I feel safe and calm, and I’m always happier when I leave than when I went in"

I suppose there are worse coping mechanisms than that.

[1] https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/u6a3...

True enough[1], but "aggravating a clear conflict with ones partner" clearly qualifies. Obviously we have only one side of the story here, but it's not so much "digging the tunnel" that is at issue here. It's "digging the tunnel and failing to sufficiently explain the hobby to your increasingly concerned girlfriend" that carries this into the realm of nutjobbery. It's one thing to be "I know it's weird, but <my obscure hobby> makes me happy and I promise it won't impact our relationship" and quite another to front with "I'm digging the tunnel. Leave me alone."

The implicit questions being asked by the poster here are ones our amateur miner should have answered long ago, basically.

[1] And for the record: I have a hard time believing that an amateur tunnel through sediment in an otherwise typical geological area is all that dangerous, the guy isn't chasing veins through bedrock or tapping sinkholes here.

And it only takes a small amount of dirt covering someone to crush them or suffocate them to death. Literally less than a foot depending on distribution.

Construction crews have to shore up anything higher than waist high for this reason.