Re:How can I get my boyfriend to stop digging his tunnel?
by Adraghast on Wednesday April 20, 2022 @11:53AM
(#31098774)
> In the update[1] he says it's calming and makes him feel safe. He's happier after doing it.
That makes it more concerning, not less. A quirky hobby stops being quirky when it starts filling a psychological need. Fast forward three months and dude might not want to ever leave his tunnel. Why would he? He feels calm and safe there.
Re:How can I get my boyfriend to stop digging his tunnel?
by recursive on Wednesday April 20, 2022 @12:00PM
(#31098892)
If it's concerning to you to fill a need with a hobby, then you're probably going to be concerned about most people. What would you say are healthy reasons to engage in a hobby, if there are any?
Re:How can I get my boyfriend to stop digging his tunnel?
by Adraghast on Wednesday April 20, 2022 @01:44PM
(#31100413)
I’d say any of the top three levels of Maslow’s hierarchy. A hobby that helps you achieve feelings of self-actualization, esteem, and belonging is great.
Things get hairy at that second level. If you feel psychologically unsafe in your day-to-day life, there’s something wrong - either with your environment or the way you perceive it - that a tunnel can’t fix.
In the update[1] he says it's calming and makes him feel safe. He's happier after doing it.
It doesn't sound so bad. I mean, it's gotta be healthier than so called idle games, and about as useful. Or similar to lifting weights or jogging or something. It makes him feel good, that's all the justification any non-harmful activity should need.
[1] Mods removed it on Reddit. Archive.org: http://web.archive.org/web/20220417170609/https://old.reddit...