If you want the waiter, so etiquette says, you'll summon him/her.

One thing I've noticed, though: this happens in chain restaurants regularly, but in smaller, independent restaurants only rarely.

It's not really cultural: I think it's a product of the disconnect that naturally occurs when people without any feet-on-ground presence are making policies to be followed by the staff, and the other end of the feedback loop isn't isn't in place.

If I have a problem with the food, I'll get a waiters attention - perhaps with a snap of my fingers - which is expected and not at all rude and let the waiter know.

Snapping my fingers at the waiter isn't something I'd ever do in the US though.

I expect writing to have minor flaws.

I expect a sandwich to be a sandwich.

Mistakes that aren't noticed by the time all the food is handed out should be rare, and there's no problem in flagging someone down in that case.

A reply below you says its to make sure you got what you ordered, etc. I could count on a few fingers the times ive ever got the wrong thing/meal, and then you just ask.

If you have younger kids, you have to be careful to sit them away from the button.

It's a Y-combinator funded company by the way. I really hope it catches on big really quickly, I think it's just wonderful.

I was eating at an Italian restaurant in Miami. Two beachgoers came in a bit after me, stared at the menu for 15 minutes, and left in a huff. Even if they had looked around the restaurant in a grumpy "where the fuck is our waiter" manner, he would've been at their table in 10 seconds.

The normal hover/frequent checkup behavior of American waiters and waitresses seems to be counter to this in almost all ways. It seems as though the rounds they make to check on everyone makes it much harder to get their attention when needed, in comparison to a waiter who stands back and watches.

It shouldn't take more than a min or two for the waiter to come over, give you some water, and introduce themselves.

I'm not here to be taken on a 'journey' by the server, I'm here to eat good food and enjoy the company that came with me.

A good server is one you barely notice.

No need to be condescending here, he even prefixed it with "in America," and what he said is absolute fact. If you aren't waited on in the first 15 minutes, in America, you aren't in a good restaurant.

It's something you typically ignore until it's not there.

As a Brit when in America I find it awful how the waitress will pretend to be friendly. If we're just a group of guys or whatever I don't want you to be pretended to be interested in who we are, what we do. Putting a hand on my back isn't going to make me prefer the food I'm here for. If I wanted someone to pretend to be my friend, I'd be in a titty bar.

I think there is a good middle ground, in the UK tips are expected to be about 12.5% max. All staff share them, and front of house aren't so transparent in trying to get a bigger tip from you. People appear to take pride in what they do, rather than just being mercenary.

Yes, sometimes it is fake, but very often it's a case of being unable to imagine a culture where genuine friendliness toward strangers is a lot more common than what they themselves tend to feel toward strangers.

I say, the cheek of it...

Depending on where you've visited, this may have little to do with the restaurant setting, and everything to do with the local culture. There are some regions in America in which engaging with others at that level of familiarity is expected in any context, and being impersonal and excessively "professional" is considered rude.

Perhaps you're immune to the effect, since you know about it. But in aggregate, it can change the disposition of customers (measured using the metric of increased tips).

They wouldn't do it if it didn't work.

To me, tips encourage wait staff to get in the way and try to make themselves part of the evening, which is not something I want in a meal out with friends.

I have noticed that this happens at Nandos over here in the UK too, it seems to be part of their formula. That is typically the last interaction you have with the staff though, as their model is that you pay when you order.

Yes, but saying that the purpose is to be "casual" as an explanation sounds a lot better to the employees who are listening to it than saying that the purpose is to be "submissive", which is what kneeling before the person you are taking orders from really is.

What incentive does a cook have to give you a good meal if she's making a standard wage and no tips?

What incentive does a dishwasher have to do a proper job washing your dishes if she's making a standard wage and no tips?

What incentive does a fast food employee have to good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips?

What incentive does a barista have to good service if she's making a standard wage and no tips?

etc...

From what I've heard, in the US it's standard practice to split the tip among the staff in a restaurant. The cook, host/hostess, even the other waiters get their share of a single waiter's tip.

I'm not sure about the dishwasher. But it's pretty obvious what incentive the dishwasher has in keeping the dishes clean: if they're not, he/she will get fired.

It's pretty obvious what incentive the waitstaff has to provide good service, if they don't, they get fired. Tipping is arbitrary. I tip the person who pours my drink at the bar, but not the person who pour my drink at McDonald's.

Oh, by the way, when I was younger and in high school/college I worked three public facing customer service jobs where I didn't earn any tips. I worked my ass off at each job for standard wages. I always provided the best customer service I could. My incentive was I wanted to do my job effectively and not get fired or reprimanded. It is incredibly naive to think that if waitstaff earned a fair wage without tips they would all suddenly stop doing their job. Especially since they already know they are going to get a tip anyways, it is pretty much required to give a tip, no matter how bad the service was!

> The waiters and waitresses in Croatia keep it real. And by keeping it real I mean they maintain authenticity, and by that I mean they do things like finish their cigarette or magazine article before taking your order, approach your table with almost total indifference and sometimes do everything in their power NOT TO NOTICE YOU! For my American readers it may sound strange, but I prefer this kind of “service” to what we have in the US. As it is with lots of things in Croatia, once you go through the looking glass, there’s no going back.

Croatian service: Keeping it real, really real http://zablogreb.likecroatia.hr/?p=10

The same incentive every other worker that gets paid a hourly wage or monthly salary without tips has to do a their job properly.

Tipping is indeed customary in every service trade that I'm aware of, because it conforms to the reality that the waiter/deliveryman/taxi driver/etc. actually is working, at least in part, directly for the customer.

The depends on how well the employer monitors performance and holds employees accountable.

Of course, employers who do bad at this in terms of customer service staff will find their business develops a reputation for poor customer service, and loses out to businesses that do a good job at this, all other things being equal.

It is one area where I believe that the europeans have a lot to learn, perhaps with the exception of Italy and London which I find pretty effective.

Does your boss pay you a few extra dollars if you were extra productive and cheerful today? No? Would that be kind of demeaning, actually? Do you do a good job because it it's what you want to do?

It may be demeaning to you, as you probably make far more money than a waiter. But waiters in the US typically get paid an atrociously low salary, and make most of their income from tips.

"Do you do a good job because it it's what you want to do?"

Few people consider waiting tables their dream job. They usually do it because they consider it a temporary job, not a career. Some may take pride in doing an exceptional job, but they're probably the exception rather than the rule.

Waiters get paid an atrociously low salary because it is anticipated that their real pay will come from tips. This is part of the "tipping culture", not an external factor which justifies tipping culture.

I think it's rather that employers aren't willing to pay more, and waiters usually can't afford to turn down work that pays them these salaries, and there usually isn't another alternative that pays any better.

Regardless of the reasons for this state of affairs, the fact is that watiers in the US do get paid atrocious salaries and can't afford to look down their noses at "an extra few dollars" in tips.

I'm sure plenty of waiters would trade in the tip system for a guaranteed higher salary, but it's usually not up to them to decide.

I think its rather that employers are specifically legally permitted to pay less than the minimum they would have to pay others for the specific reason that waiters are expected to get a significant share of their income in tips.

While, obviously, restaurants may pay more than the minimum, the lower minimum for this particular class of employees depresses wages across the entire class.

So, yes, what employers are willing to pay is a factor, but what employers are willing to pay is driven by expectations that are set by, among other things, what employers are required to pay. And one of those other things, as well as the express reason for the lower amount employers are required to pay, is the presumption of tipping.

> Regardless of the reasons for this state of affairs, the fact is that watiers in the US do get paid atrocious salaries and can't afford to look down their noses at "an extra few dollars" in tips.

Well, yes, dependence on tips in certain jobs is a product of tipping culture. That's actually one of the arguments for tipping culture being a bad thing.

How you correct it given the way it is deeply ingrained in both the formal (e.g., law) and informal aspects of culture is, of course, another question.

You're unfamiliar with the "bonus"?

I'd think pride in her work? That's pretty shitty if they can treat customers like crap.