They had amazingly high production values on classics like "Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BnLbv6QYcA and "Sony Releases Stupid Piece Of Shit That Doesn't Fucking Work" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8AyVh1_vWYQ

I wonder why they stopped.

I assume video content is much more expensive

They may also have been victimized by the scandal where Facebook was lying about the engagement that short-form videos generated over other kinds of content, leading several content producers into bankruptcy or near bankruptcy through loss of ad revenue when they pivoted towards it.

https://slate.com/technology/2018/10/facebook-online-video-p...

https://www.ccn.com/facebook-lied-about-video-metrics/

Never trust a con artist.

From what I gather, they invested in Onion News Network for IFC, and when that got canceled relatively quickly, they didn't risk online-only distribution. Maybe 2011 was too early to pivot to video? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Onion_News_Network

My favorite bit, still stuck in my head whenever I see politicians from both parties rush to the scene of a protest or whatever, is "New Live Poll Lets Pundits Pander To Viewers In Real Time": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uFpK_r-jEXg

>Maybe 2011 was too early to pivot to video?

The whole pivot to video era that crippled a whole bunch of online writing outlets was still four years out, so definitely too early.

“EVERYTHING is just a few hundred clicks away”

HP Offers 'That Cloud Thing Everyone Is Talking About' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9ntPxdWAWq8

pepperidge farm remembers when the onion produced hilarious articles.

lets collate the best of the best. i'll start:

https://www.theonion.com/protagonist-scrolls-intensely-throu...

https://www.theonion.com/jumbled-nest-of-cords-makes-move-to...

~1:40 of the Apple video has this amazing headline scroll through the bottom:

> Congress approves intellectual stimulus package giving every American a graduate degree

I think they raised a bunch of funding at one point and then ran out of it

Ben Collins says they're bring back ONN

https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social/post/3kqyj7u...

This is a splash of cold water if you're familiar with who Ben Collins is.

This will not not be a return to The Onion you fondly remember. Most likely it will be a continuation in the same direction it's been going.

OK, I’ll bite: why?

I don’t know who Ben Collins is and at a first read of his bio I’m not really sure who would. My first instinct is that this is one of those terminally online things, like how I kept reading references to “Taylor Lorenz” as if she were the devil incarnate and when I finally looked into it she was just another pretty boring journalist.

Since you asked, a genuine answer. I suspect it's because Ben Collins is a veteran of the left-wing "disinformation" beat, most recently for MSNBC until he lost that gig -- so the admittedly cryptic parent comment is positing that as a seasoned culture warrior, Collins will likely apply The Onion as a tool in the culture war.

The Onion's comedic point-of-view used to be less predictable, but as the culture war as progressed, so too has The Onion's voice, and it's a more reliable voice for the left these days. If you rue that trend, for whatever reason, Collins provides little reason to imagine things will change.

Apparently he's the disinformation reporter who fell for the Gaza hospital bombing hoax last year. I hope NBC can find someone equally amusing to take his place.

I'm not familiar enough with either him or culture war dynamics to know what you mean by this.

On the other hand he does have experience in the field.

I was genuinely excited to see him be the new boss. He's incredibly smart and incisive and really understands internet culture.

Ben Collins, the guy who got suspended from MSNBC for criticizing Elon Musk too hard? Upset Nate Silver because he criticized him too hard? Upset Matt Taibbi for making fun of him for doing PR work for a billionaire? I think he’s perfect for the job honestly.

If _MSNBC_ thinks he’s too overtly partisan and not up to journalistic standards, I’d say Collins fails to clear the absolute lowest bar in news media ethics.

Boy do I have to warn you about The Onion’s content then.

Also if you think being partisan is the lowest bar instead of “report the truth” or “be accurate and fair” then that tells me enough already about your values.

They were great when they weren't shackled

'Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar'

'Black Man given Nation's worst job' (After Obama won)

I've never laughed so hard at headlines

And who can forget their famous headline "Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality"

Standard Deviation Not Enough for Perverted Statistician

This, this is the GOAT.

The Onion had two events that resulted in a huge drop in writing quality and edginess:

OG writers refusing to relocate from NYC to Chicago in 2012 when the HQ was moved, choosing to part ways instead.

Then, the remaining writers being called out for the following tweet, somewhat rightly, but being neutered forever after:

https://crasstalk.com/2013/02/sorry-former-onion-staffers-ca...

I don't know any of the context around that tweet, but The Onion has obviously chosen the most innocent, blameless celebrity they could think of to make sure it's a clear joke to everyone, right? Like finding the skinniest person and calling them obese.

The writer of that article seems to have still somehow misunderstood and come to the conclusion that The Onion actually hates Quvenzhané Wallis. I wonder if they really don't get it, or if they're just sort of performatively not getting it for the outrage article.

On the contrary, the context was that the kid was getting a lot of very stupid criticism already. It’s certainly why they attempted the joke.

I don’t think anything about that situation was somehow off limits or immune to satire, they just didn’t pull off the joke. It’s not like the kid was likely to have seen the joke, so no worries there. The problem is that when you use language like that and you’re not even funny, you’re operating at the Andrew Dice Clay level of comedy. That should inspire suicidal ideation in any comedian (who isn’t Andrew Dice Clay… I guess…).

Yes, both sad days for what was razor sharp satire.

They also seem to think their Diamond Joe Biden character made real Joe Biden too popular, and their self-seriousness about this is making it hard for them to do anything political.

It seemed to me they were well into the current era of lessened relevance before that stuff happened.

"Special Olympics T-Ball Stand Pitches Perfect Game" is the greatest headline ever written

My vote goes to “Supreme Court Overturns ‘Right V. Wrong’”

"Area Bassist Fellated"

did you misremember the second one? https://www.theonion.com/black-guy-asks-nation-for-change-18...

They did not. The one you linked is from March 2008.

https://www.theonion.com/black-man-given-nations-worst-job-1...

I think they’re great and I’ve only seen like two or three of their videos ever.

Their Autistic Reporter series is probably the best thing they did.

The was the greatest legacy of the ill-fated “pivot to video” era.

According to the new buyer, he is letting the writers do what they want (more freedom), so I assume they were increasingly tamped down on

You're clearly not alone in this, but I never realised they even did videos, fwiw. Similar era I was enjoying great content on the site, and it just sort of faded but didn't disappear, from my perspective, so I don't know to what extent it's purely about rise and fall of video really.

(I did just watch the very good MacBook Wheel one though.)

Comedy was hit hard by the broader online media shift from personalities to soulless "personalities."

It feels like there's a big hollowed out void between hackneyed mass appeal, and full sending to absurdist and surreal comedy.