> ADHD people can sit there yelling at themselves to "do the thing" that they _know_ they need to do and still be completely incapable of starting regardless of how "easy" it is to actually do it once something forces them to actually start.

I also do this. Even worse: the easier and hence duller the task seems, the more difficult it is to get started on it. Once I do start on it and finish 5 minutes later, I need a 20 minute break (WFH doesn't help).

I also often zone out during meetings to the point I haven't got a clue what people are talking about. But to be honest the information content of most meetings is really low.

That's actually a strategy recommended to ADHD folk: do 20m of engaging "fun" to prepare yourself for 5m of forced boring activity. Think of it as recharging a reservoir of $tolerance before draining it to power some boring activity.

Getting started feels like climbing the steepest mountain, so I’ve learned to just open the damn thing in front of me and tell someone I’ll send it over to force myself to start (forced accountability). It works 99% of the time if I think the person is sitting there waiting for it anxiously. ADHD is living life as a knowledge worker on nightmare mode compared to neurotypicals with functioning executive memory.

>I also often zone out during meetings to the point I haven't got a clue what people are talking about

I've found that having a pen and some notepaper for doodling and writing whatever a speaker is saying is helpful to stay engaged

I play minesweeper. I even have a reputation for it. Long before I got my ADHD diagnosis. But I’ve done a good job of making people aware that if I’m playing minesweeper I’m as engaged as I’m able to be.

This is why adhd is associated with risky behaviors like drug use, gambling addiction, unprotected sex and std transmission, stealing, etc. the dopamine rush lights up your reward system above your baseline levels in these extreme situations just like procrastinating and getting something done down to the minute before it’s due and narrowly missing the severe consequences (getting fired, your spouse leaving you, letting bills go unpaid until you are about to lose your utilities, house, get deeper into credit card debt, etc.

It’s a vicious cycle leading you on a one way ticket straight to hell and losing everything you care about in life or rotting in prison as an adult that looks invisible to the naked neurotypical eye and dismissed as being lazy when a kid by ignorant parents.

> the dopamine rush lights up your reward system above your baseline levels in these extreme situations just like procrastinating and getting something done down to the minute before it’s due and narrowly missing the severe consequences (getting fired, your spouse leaving you, letting bills go unpaid until you are about to lose your utilities, house, get deeper into credit card debt, etc.

I’ve been this way my entire adult life and I did not realize those were dopamine hits. Wow.

Yeah if the stakes are high you will be forced to take action, possibly activate your fight or flight adrenaline response if it’s immediate but mostly the dire consequences and novelty of situations feel akin to having a gun to your head and needing to take action or risk serious harm. Maybe they are evolved mechanisms, citations needed of course. There is hope if you have severe adhd, highly recommend a medical work up with stimulant meds at therapeutic dosages. Don’t feel ashamed if you need help, no one wants to live their life knowing they are being held back by their broken executive functioning region of their brain and missing the opportunity to realize their full potential.

Oof, this video makes me think I may have ADHD. I just cannot get boring things done, and I get more stressed the more I procrastinate, and it just spirals.

What has helped me is something that the video mentions too, and that's working with a coworker. Not so much pairing (as in, looking at each other's screen), but just saying "I'm working on X now" and feeling like someone else is working on their thing alongside you/simultaneously. That has produced great results for me.

Checking in for accountability like this is a really REALLY common ADHD coping skill.

there's a site called focusmate that helps you find accountability buddies (https://focusmate.com). it's really helped me.

Do you use this primarily for professional life, personal tasks, general motivation? (Tried to word this non-exhaustive/non-xor but saying so explicitly in case that didn’t come across.)

You can use Focusmate for anything! I use it for 1) accountability to wake up on time and get myself going, 2) going through my morning routine, 3) working, 4) cleaning/chores. I’ve been on sessions where other people also write, meditate, study, or prep for presentations. Someone even used it to take a nap once when she needed some sleep.

Yes I'd be curious to hear more about this too. I've looked at Focusmate but haven't yet got myself over the line to signup.

ADHDer here—I found Focusmate last fall and it flipped my whole world right-side up. (It was so impactful I actually got in touch with the team and, long story short, I now work for them.) Anyway, I’d be happy to do a session with you and show you the ropes.

Interesting to hear what an impact it had for you. I was just looking at the site again yesterday but in typical ADHD fashion didn't follow through with signing up! I'm game to give it a go - my email address is in my profile.

Sweeeeeet, sent you an email :D

The common term for it I've seen online is Body Doubling, though that might be a more specific variation.

I had never heard this term, now I have more learning to do! Thank you.

This, exactly. It's not about not wanting to. It's about literally being incapable of changing that, no matter how much you tell yourself and really mean to want to.

One thing I think isn't too clear with the descriptions here - sometimes it is just that hard to start things you want to do with ADHD as well.

I consider that a hallmark of the syndrome - you are REALLY interested in something, got a project fully prepared around it, and then it sits there waiting for you to do it. All that time you might research it, but it's a problem of getting started even though it is something you are wildly interested in.

Dozens of really interesting things left undone and probably never will get done.

Most of the people who don't understand ADHD and say it is similar to what they go through should be taught about this aspect of it as well.

> I consider that a hallmark of the syndrome - you are REALLY interested in something, got a project fully prepared around it, and then it sits there waiting for you to do it.

While I don't dispute the seriousness of ADHD, having never read about it, I can't help but think that the thing you described as the hallmark of the syndrome is just a really common thing among any functioning human being.

Pretty much every symptom can be described that way. Your chest feel heavy? It could be cancer. It could also just be a really common thing among any functioning human being.

A hallmark can't just be considered without the existence of other symptoms. It literally means "If you see this symptom, look for these others to see if it's ADHD." An indicator isn't a solitary rule.

People really like to minimize it because online ADHD conversations don't typically describe the entire diagnosis and its variations. To do so would be far too verbose and extensive for regular discussion.

You mean people can fill out their tax forms before the due date?

No joke. I pay my CPA extra to nag me.

I do the same thing!

Same. I automate it, though, wherever possible, and still managed to forget to pay my most recent property taxes, heh

I live and die by Reminders.app and yet I still have 20 unaddressed reminders at any given time :(

I set the important reminders for 2pm. Something about 2pm is just right. It doesn't always work, but it works often enough that I "hey Siri, remind me to [x] at 2pm on [day]" when it matters. I usually end up doing it earlier because I know 2pm is coming.

I set my important ones for 1030am or 1pm!

Completely off topic (I think?), thanks for posting that video. Her entire channel seems full of things that can be useful to me.

> ADHD people can sit there yelling at themselves to "do the thing" that they _know_ they need to do and still be completely incapable of starting regardless of how "easy" it is to actually do it once something forces them to actually start.

Isn't that basically how everyone behaves?

Not to the extreme people with ADHD have.

For example, I know many people who just don't show up for work. They just can't get up and do it and they get fired. That isn't typical for how "everyone behaves."

Where is the line between procrastination and adhd then?

Procrastinators can get things they like to do, done.

ADHD makes even things you love and are wildly interest in, hard to follow through on.

People with ADHD are notorious for starting projects and then leaving them, regardless of how fun or cool said project was.

Procrastinators don't start new projects consecutively. One is a delay tactic. The other is outright avoidance.