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Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by MandieD on Friday February 21, 2025 @04:44PM (#43133431)
I've lived in Germany for twenty years, and despite speaking what I would consider a merely adequate and certainly not native level of German, I've noticed that there's something a bit off about how I speak English. It's glaringly apparent when I'm back in Texas. Like the author, I make some strange word choices that are almost like direct translations from German, and it's had an effect on my grammar, too.

We're raising our kid to be bilingual (my husband is German), but I wonder how truly "native" my kid's English will be with me as his main source of it.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by rednafi on Friday February 21, 2025 @05:38PM (#43133925)
Sports machen?
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by aaplok on Friday February 21, 2025 @11:34PM (#43136145)
> I wonder how truly "native" my kid's English will be with me as his main source of it.

My experience is that it gets hard when they realise that they can get away with only German. Many kids choose to only use the "primary" language, even when spoken in the secondary one. They eventually regret that choice when they get to their twenties.

Not all kids do that though. I am not sure what influences this, but as a parent of trilingual children, my recommendation is to expose them to the culture as much as you can. Talk to family online, take them to English speaking places and countries, watch movies. In other words, make speaking English useful to them. If your family in the US have older kids, yours might end up looking up to them - mine have an older cousin who is one of their favourite members of the family and definitely gives motivation to communicate. Also, be more stubborn than them if they try to only speak German.

Sorry if this comes across as unsolicited advice. Nothing I said is revolutionary and you might already have thought it through. We got very lucky with ours, but this is stuff I would have benefitted from when our kids were young, so I'm passing it on.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by MandieD on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:30AM (#43136929)
Not at all - I appreciate it!
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by seszett on Saturday February 22, 2025 @06:48AM (#43138155)
> Also, be more stubborn than them if they try to only speak German.

I think that's the main thing. I have been very stubborn in "not understanding" the other (local) language with my children, even if it's obvious to them I do understand it. Today (they are still young) they speak both languages, including between themselves, and they don't seem to have a preference for one language over the other.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stevoski on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:01AM (#43136773)
“Are you coming with?”

After a few years living in Germany (as a native English speaker), my English and that of my friends became peppered with these German-isms.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by bradrn on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:12AM (#43136839)
I say this as a native English speaker… but I speak South African English (or something similar), and I’ve heard that this expression is due to Afrikaans influence!
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stavros on Saturday February 22, 2025 @04:59AM (#43137641)
That's probably because Afrikaans is Dutch, and Dutch is German.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by bradrn on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:12AM (#43137708)
Well, ‘is’ isn’t quite the right word… but they’re all closely related languages, yes, which is why I mentioned it.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stavros on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:13AM (#43137715)
Yep, I was being liberal with "is" there, but hopefully the point came across.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by jessekv on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:25PM (#43143902)
Dutch is German, and English is French.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stavros on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:38PM (#43143998)
English is French and German.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by jessekv on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:49PM (#43144091)
And therefore, Dutch is English :D
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stavros on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:53PM (#43144127)
No, English and Dutch are distant cousins.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by jessekv on Saturday February 22, 2025 @08:07PM (#43145135)
Haha ok- but then so is German. Dutch has Low Franconian origins, and the more you learn about it the weirder it gets. Also, it did not have the consonant shift- e.g. water (en) vs water (nl) vs wasser (de).

That said, after centuries of relative stability, modern Dutch is absorbing English words as fast as it can, who knows if it is still recognisable in 50 years.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stavros on Saturday February 22, 2025 @09:45PM (#43145892)
I don't know, I think maybe Dutch and German are more estranged siblings. English is a weird case because the German part is very German, but then the non-German part is pretty big!
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by yapyap on Saturday February 22, 2025 @07:20AM (#43138341)
Afrikaans is Dutch yes, Dutch is not German.

Learn your languages before spreading unwise nonsense on the internet.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by carlmr on Saturday February 22, 2025 @07:40AM (#43138485)
Not OP here. You're right, but you could be more charitable in your reading of the previous comment. While it's wrong at the micro level it's not even nonsense on the macro level. Dutch and German are at the very least very related. They share a lot of constructs and words.

There's no reason to be so disrespectful.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by eps on Saturday February 22, 2025 @04:51AM (#43137610)
Similarly "I've been here since two days" is usually a giveaway that somebody's translating from French.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by raphael_l on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:03AM (#43137663)
It’s actually also indicative of German! (and I would assume a few other languages?)

“Ich bin seit zwei Tagen hier.”

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by OJFord on Saturday February 22, 2025 @07:48AM (#43138543)
Hindi too, maiñ do din se yahāñ hūñ.

I wouldn't be surprised if it were most languages really, English 'for' seems the weirder construction.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by ninalanyon on Saturday February 22, 2025 @12:20PM (#43140913)
You could use it in English too so long as you add 'ago' on the end. "Since two days" makes no sense in English because "since" refers to a point in time not a duration.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by OJFord on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:57PM (#43142568)
That still doesn't sound natural to me. You could answer 'since when' with 'two days ago', but declaring it as a statement I'd say 'for the last two days' or 'since the day before yesterday'.

You could get away with it in speech since it sounds like 'since.. [thinking] two days ago' and it's acceptable to change construction like that in casual speech, but written it doesn't seem right to me.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by selimthegrim on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:42PM (#43144030)
Could also be do din tak but that implies you’re about to take off
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by dizhn on Saturday February 22, 2025 @08:20AM (#43138758)
Do you notice an increase in this usage lately? I see it a lot on reddit and hn. All romance languages probably have it by the way. I know Italian does for sure.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by stavros on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:03AM (#43137657)
Isn't German the same? "Ich bin schon seit zwei Tagen hier".
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by yurishimo on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:54AM (#43137908)
I said this long before I moved out of the US. I live in NL now. I wish I could tell you where it came from. Probably from my stepfather who was raised in a rural Texas area that probably had some old Germanic roots.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by OJFord on Saturday February 22, 2025 @07:41AM (#43138491)
That sounds perfectly British English to me, to the extent that I thought your point was going to be it was something German had stamped out of you.

Interestingly, I'm not sure if it's nationwide, or a local dialect (Dorset/West country) thing - interesting because there's a lot of German/Saxonism retained in the dialect, usually about word choice or spelling though, not phrases. As far as I'm aware anyway, not an expert.

(For example we tend to prefer the -t ending of -ed verbs: 'burnt' not 'burned' etc. including in stronger cases words like 'turnt' ('turned' in any usage, not the modern slang for drunk) that Wiktionary etc. will tell you are obsolete.)

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by Clamchop on Saturday February 22, 2025 @11:27PM (#43146520)
This example at least sounds perfectly natural to me, in California. I can remember my dad saying it, who was also a born and raised Californian. No German around whatsoever, shrug.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by shermantanktop on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:43AM (#43137018)
I grew up in a many-lingual house and really only know English, though I am trying to finally learn proper German.

But my word choices and pronunciations are definitely not 100% native. There are moments where I can feel the vtable pointing me to the wrong language for a word. Sometimes I get back to English, sometimes I pause, and sometimes a word from some other language pops out.

As an example I sometimes say “no thank you” in Swedish in situations where that is wildly wrong. I can’t speak Swedish, but I have those basic phrases in there.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by pjmlp on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:53AM (#43137077)
Similar timeframe in Germany, not only did my English got worse, even though I have more years of speaking English (since the age of 10), I also occasionally miss some Portuguese words, my native tongue.

Thankfully hearing it regularly keeps me up to date, though there are those moments where right in the middle of a conversation I have to stop and reflect on how exactly something is named.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by lqet on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:54AM (#43137080)
Lately I noticed that I cannot even speak my native German dialect as easily as when I was a teenager (I moved away from home to university when I was 20). I often hesitate because I am not sure whether some word I said was correct in my native dialect, or the local dialect where I live now, or the dialect of my wife (Swiss German). At home, we speak a wild mixture of 3 different dialects and standard German. Our 5-year-old mainly speaks standard German because that's what they speak at kindergarten (most of the teachers don't speak the dialect, and there is a significant number of French, Italian, Ukrainian, and Syrian kids for which learning the dialect would be even harder). At work, I speak a mixture of English and standard German.

After living in Germany for nearly 10 years, but working in Switzerland, my wife recently had an identity crisis because a Swiss colleague thought she was German, and had just learned Swiss German very well.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by FlyingSnake on Saturday February 22, 2025 @03:45AM (#43137320)
I have the same experience as well. After living in Germany for 12+ years, my English sometimes has this weird mix of English words and German grammar.

My daughter however speaks fluent English and German so I don’t think they’ll have the same problems.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by gizajob on Saturday February 22, 2025 @03:55AM (#43137369)
If English had German grammar : https://youtu.be/50jkO2s4Sp0?si=fvPfoJW9WKG51IL-
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by ahazred8ta on Monday February 24, 2025 @04:09AM (#43157370)
If English had no non-germanic vocabulary: the classic Uncleftish Beholding essay on atomic theory https://anglish.fandom.com/wiki/Uncleftish_Beholding
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by impossiblefork on Saturday February 22, 2025 @03:46AM (#43137327)
Some youths in Sweden are doing this in Swedish, being unable to properly communicate in their native language. Their English is usually not that great either though.

Some are foreigners, others are extreme nerds who have failed to interact with people and have lived on the internet.

It's really sad.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by kzrdude on Saturday February 22, 2025 @07:21AM (#43138351)
Learning language is a lifelong journey, I'm convinced we continue to master our native language as well as we age. Maybe more so if we care and pay attention to it. So I hope there is still hope for some of the youth..

And I would add that I think becoming more than proficient in and deepening understanding of one's own language (Swedish in that case) is important, in parallel with learning foreign languages.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by Obscurity4340 on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:15AM (#43137733)
After I read anything German, i cant stop myself from pronouncing all the s's as z's for a few days
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by jwarden on Saturday February 22, 2025 @05:59AM (#43137936)
I am also raising a bilingual 3–year-old in Spain. I speak to him only in English. But i have recently read The Nurture Assumption by Judith Rich Harris, which argues convincingly that his English will be limited in certain important ways unless he also has a native English-speaking peer group.
Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by wheels on Saturday February 22, 2025 @08:12AM (#43138705)
I'm also a Texan in Germany, and my German's good enough that it often takes people a few minutes to notice I'm not a native speaker. (Left the US at 21, am now 44.) I definitely also have a lot of German artifacts in my spoken English at this point. At one point I was given the attempted compliment of, "Wow, your English is really good" – because I apparently almost sound like a native speaker. ;-)

My children are 6 and 9 and we've raised them tri-lingual. They mostly sound native in all three, but their Serbo-Croatian and English have some German artifacts as well. Also their vocabulary isn't quite at the age-appropriate level in English since I'm basically the only person they regularly use it with, and if I don't use a word with them, they probably don't know it. This may start to change now that my oldest has also begun reading books in English. (That went surprisingly quickly; once he started with English classes in the third grade, within 3-6 months, he no longer had a definite preference for books in German over English.)

The trap to be careful of is if your family language is German that the kids eventually stop answering in their parent's language. This seems to be easier when three distinct languages are in play, possibly. Since I speak English with their mom (Serbian), they're less pull towards the "outside" language (German). Oddly, the language the speak with each other has remained Serbo-Croatian. I'd always expected that to eventually change to German, but seems unlikely at their current ages. We mostly attribute this to them having sometimes spent several weeks alone with their grandparents in Serbia when they were young, and that being the only time they only spoke a single language for up to a month, and that having solidified it as their preferred language.

Re:Can You Lose Your Native Tongue? (2024) by joseda-hg on Saturday February 22, 2025 @02:18PM (#43142146)
I wouldn't worry too much about it, English is prevalent and useful enough that as long as gets to a reasonable level early enough, he should be able to pick stuff that separate him from your specific manerisms

Tangentially related, I see more and more kids developing a "TV Accent" in Spanish in their early years which eventually gets replaced with their local one I'm guessing based on their exposure to parents and media vs School/Parents/Every day life