Until this, people would dedicate their lives to their kids, children were the most important thing in people’s lives, everything from friends, to outings, to day to day life, would revolve around the child’s best interests and wants.
I’m not sure why this link broke, across every major country. Was it the internet ? What was it, even people from less fortunate backgrounds are having fewer kids, like a LOT LESS, what changed, its not about religion, even the religious are having fewer kids (more than non-religious) but still fewer,
It’s truly a big question, my guess is it has something to do with, increasing the avg age of marriage by 10 yrs from 20 to 30, and making pre-marital sex available in-cheap for everyone, before you’d need to get married to be able to sleep with the opposite gender.
I don’t think the burden of children is experienced only financially. I suspect at least some people are choosing sleep, peace, and freedom over children. Not [primarily] luxury goods.
Is this actually true? I don’t really believe it. Sending your kids to work in the sweatshops doesn’t seem like “best interests and wants.” I think people were just surviving in their time/environment. Like we are now.
It is true in Asian countries and most pre-industrialised nations
I say this not to be flippant or sarcastic but rather to ask how our ancestors seemed fine with the above but we seem less so?
(To be fair, I have 3 kids and totally get why your scenario might lower the odds. I'll say that even with the 1am wakeups, the "I love you!" from a toddler is one of the best feelings ever.)
https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=40982392 (citations)
https://ourworldindata.org/fertility-rate#what-explains-the-...
https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2024/07/25/the-exp...
https://www.axios.com/2024/07/25/adults-no-children-why-pew-...
> Stunning stat: 64% of young women say they just don't want children, compared to 50% of men. (US specific survey data)
Maybe they weren’t fine with it. They just didn’t have any other choice. Now we do, and turns out a lot of people choose not to have kids when given the choice.
Honestly, I think we will have a rough couple generations, then nature will take its course and humans will reach a new equilibrium that factors in birth control.
How about we make it easier for people who want kids to have them, and we stop vilifying people who don’t want kids?
There are many ways to contribute to society. Some of the kindest most selfless people I know don’t want kids. It’s fine, humanity will manage.
Compare this to even just 50 years ago. These options were limited to the highest classes of society. People tended to settle down and have children because that was the sensible next thing to do in life.
I know multiple single people in their 50s and 60s with no kids and they are all miserable human beings.
Another issue is that most of your peers at that age are raising a family and have less time to get together, making it very lonely. If you wait long enough, your friends will retire/kids will move out and they will have time for you again.
This doesn't even include the elderly people with no kids that end up alone in a nursing home one day.
I know a few people in the 50s and 60s with no kids and they are perfectly nice and happy. I also know parents who are real shit bags. Let’s stop this false narrative that people without kids are miserable or selfish or evil in some way. We are all just people, kids or no.
Some have them, many are not.
https://www.voronoiapp.com/demographics/Over-Half-of-Househo...
My parents grew up spending a lot of time with their aunts and uncles. I grew up with my parents because they didn't have extended family or friends that could help. Now my generation, I see at least more "family circles" sharing in child care (eg Friday sleepovers at one rotating family, so the other parents can go out). I can't imagine how easy it would be if more grandparents were nearby.
Plus it was just cheaper to live back then. Now the norm is both parents work full time to stay barely above water economically, maximizing shareholder value.
it's objectively hard work that nowadays may not even pay off at all, aside from this feelings part, which to me always has been balanced out with acute paranoia about being responsible for a fragile live human.
Because by and large our female ancestors raised the children, were offered no choice in whether to raise the children, and their opinions of the situation were not recorded.
Life as a non-parent has gotten much better, especially for high earners.
Maybe, we are treated better than our ancestors. Most certainly this was the case for women.
(To be clear, I'm not saying that kids isn't worth it, just that it's hard for a government service to move the needle)
Source: I am a father of two daughters with less than 2 years difference; and my brother is also less than 2 years apart from me. So, I lived my advice in both aspects: as a parent and as a child.
Nowadays it’s basically just sub-Saharan Africa keeping the global birth rate up. Even India may now have just dropped below 2.1 along with nearly all of South East Asia.
The most fascinating part of this is that, against income, fertility is a bathtub-shaped curve. The poorest and richest have the most kids, which the middle class drags the whole nation down.
I get the feeling many have this idea that the more educated /career-oriented you are, the more you delay kids or have less of them. But that is not the case, past a certain point. Look up any of your favorite elite celebrities for example and how many kids they have. They might never talk about them, but I’d bet most of who you look up have 3+
We don't have family to support us and we can't afford childcare. So, that's our situation. Not complaining, just saying - it's not weeks of a little bit less sleep. It's chronically interrupted sleep for months, maybe years (according to Dr. Ferber), with severe affects to hormonal regulation and mood and weight.
Congestion with those little pipe things that you can used to suck the snot out of the baby’s nose.
We never used a pacifier. The baby slept in the same room and my wife nursed her for three years.
Being up a 4am to greet my wife who's been up since 1am with a screaming child. I'm not sure exactly what kind of benefits could convince us that he needs siblings :)
Just saying, that while I certainly applaud the effort. I don't see any easy ways to fix the issue: kids are hard work, there are many other things you could do with your life.