When I think of the office I think about intimate hugs. Can't get any work done over all the intimate hugs around the water cooler.

Maybe try the intimate hug next to the water cooler instead?

or just intimately hug the water cooler.

It's going to leave you cold.

The water cooler is infinitely warmer than any co-worker because the water cooler will never screw me over.

Intimacy is definitely the wrong word but even as someone 100% in favour of remote work I will admit that in person bonding and teamwork is superior to remote.

Your reply makes it seem like you're allergic to intimacy. There are upsides to compartmentalization but fundamentally we work with humans.

So no, if your job is with humans, I don't think you can do it _better_ without intimacy. I'm not trying to be pedantic either. Maybe you just care about "good enough" and that's completely fine. But not better. I'd disagree.

> Your reply makes it seem like you're allergic to intimacy.

This is a good point. If a person doesn’t enjoy intimate hugs in the workplace, where on earth would they enjoy any sort of intimacy?

For me, I use the number of intimate hugs I get during interviews to get a feel for how many I should expect during mandatory team lunches and stand-ups (I mean hug-ups). If I don't get a single hug from the interviewer or any other staff, I know it's a low-intimacy place and won't expect more hugs down the line.

Open concept office design has been a godsend for team building cuddle puddles. I hated having to go cubicle to cubicle giving out back rubs in the 90s

I'm guessing this is sarcasm?

no thanks. intimacy is a minefield when you have trouble reading people like me. especially in an office. some people get uncomfortable if you get to close. some don't like it if you aren't close enough. With women its even worse! I've had my body language be misinterpreted one too many times and it stresses me out.

Give me remote where I can keep a professional distance where I don't need to worry about making anyone uncomfortable.

Intimacy is not just about close physical interaction, it's about building trust, empathy and understanding. It helps us assume the best and not jump on any comment assuming the absolute worst... you know, kind of the opposite of the entire internet.

Work is where we go to be professionals.

If I need to be personal in the workplace, that is plainly unprofessional and I am quitting because I like a clear line between my personal and professional life.

I don’t know why they think only good things happen when people see each other in person.

In person you can be sexually harassed. Or if there’s a bad meeting, you might feel intimidated by my simmering rage. What if someone goes postal?

Without any sort of stats or reference I'm confident saying far more sexual harassment happens online. The vast majority is not physical contact.

>> What if someone goes postal?

The LACK of intimacy (and the empathy and trust that it's composed of) is what leads to "going postal", often driven directly by remote interactions. This is why the thin piece of glass in a car windshield allows otherwise civil people to experience road rage.