Nah, lots of people just tend to follow the path of least resistance at the moment. They don't assume that others will support them forever, they just aren't thinking about it since it is bothersome. If they were forced to do other things then they will do other things, since the force changed what path has the least resistance.
I think your labels are part of the problem. They're not narcissists. They're people. And you look down on them just for being people.
If you want to help them, perhaps treat them as equals and listen to them rather than thinking of ways to change them.
I wish I knew their gamer tags so that I could play a few rounds of halo with them, or whatever they like to play. They seem chill.
How do you address this issue? I think it's cheaper and better for everyone to address unfairness than to try to fix people after they come to feel abused by the world. It would also be better than the status quo of Social Darwinism with a sprinkle of charity and busted social programs.
Dear downvoter, I'd be interested in reading why I deserved it.
Yes, but somehow forward thinking isn't a common phenomenon in our society.
> Dear downvoter, I'd be interested in reading why I deserved it.
Undoubtedly you didn't "deserve" it. The voting system is just a way for the prevailing cliques to signify who's present. This thread is ripe with the hateful and helpless young men referred to in the article, evident by many of the comments. The worse part is that growing trend in this direction on HN. I'd say HN is currently experiencing max Q and I'm not sure it will make it to the other side without succumbing to the pressure(ie decent people leaving the site for good).
The experience here is worse than before, but still better than elsewhere. I think that means HN is ripe for innovation!
I spent a mere year after college living with my parents, a very long and sad year, wondering if this was going to be the rest of my life. My next real job came somewhat out of sheer luck and I'm thankful for it because I could totally see myself having given up, still back there to this day, still having no idea how to take my first step in a direction that actually motivated me beyond the baseline survival mode of wage-slavery. Not for one second during that time did I want to live like that, but it could have very well been the case anyway. Narcissism is far from the truth
For what it's worth, I know several (good) engineers who became engineers much later than their late 20's.
It didn't sound very kind or even understanding.
I disagree. In principle I don't think anyone should work a low paying job, and I think opting out if you can afford it is the right thing to do.
Why should we have a race to the bottom on labor? I'd rather we have more blogs and interesting reading on the internet than cheap Starbucks thanks to full employment and high labor-force participation.
Work for the sake of being busy is silly, I believe industriousness like you profess is unsustainable for our planet, at least in our current social order.
The cultural pedestal of "working hard" is tragically misplaced. Market promotes those that work smart or gable at the right opportunity, corporate politics promotes the well connected, people that support their family or community the most deserve respect, but the poor folks stocking amazon warehouses 12 hours a day get screwed.
"In their minds, it's not really their fault that they are failures and they go to great lengths to convince other people of these lies."
sometimes it is really not their fault, but one day their parents will not be able to provide for them, and that's when the real tragedy will begin.
Go to a place like Italy or India or Pakistan and you'll find 30+ year olds living with their parents and it's no big deal at all.
It's true that we are supported until we finish education, however. Which I think is a good thing.
Also, a lot of jobs that would employee these men are disappearing. Retail in particular is the employer of last resort, but physical shops are slowly dwindling in numbers. People are a lot more aware of how bad the military is to be in, too; there is much less glamour around it culturally.
This is not narcissism. This is sloth.
Narcissim is a active behavior/disorder that seeks out positive and negative attention through manipulation.
That's not to say that a very small few people may somehow find meaning exclusively playing video games. However most people will eventually suffer from lack of self-esteam, low status and shame.
If you are looking for self-esteem through your job--for most of us those days are gone.
(I know way to many former Programers who aged out of the industry way to early, and gave up. Way to many are homeless. My point is don't expect too much psychological satisfaction from a job that barely covers the rent, has no real pension, and lousy medical. My father lived for work. He loved being an electrician. He didn't develop friendships, or hobbies. He died of liver cancer a few months into retirement. One of our last conversations was when he was dying. He got a letter from the union stating they will now cover his medical expenses 100%.)
That's a personal and existental question. What are your principles? What would you like people to say about you at your funeral?
1. Do you mean a meaningful life from the gamers perspective or from the perspective of outsiders?
2. If the issue is lack of self-esteem etc. Wouldn't it be better to focus on mental health instead of employment? Once again, I was interested in talking about gamers who are happy with their situation.
If you can derive meaning from your career, that's great. Otherwise, family or contributing to society or whatever you think makes a difference in the world and is worth working toward.
Like everything, gaming is great in moderation, but the gamer who does nothing with their life but game is probably going to have some regrets on their deathbed.
You have also used another word - meaning. Is that a synonym for principle?
I am sure the gamer interacts with his parents. I couldn't find anything in the medical literature about excessive gaming either. It is quite possible that he may have regrets on his deathbed like most people. However optimizing your life for the thoughts you will have in your deathbed might not be a great tradeoff if it means doing work that makes you miserable for most of your life.
A person who does nothing with their life when they could be doing something is really a narcissist. They take it for granted that others will support them even though they contribute nothing and they don't understand that there could be any reason to work hard other than their own immediate pleasure. Ironically, these people often complain that the reason for their situation is because others aren't doing enough to help them. In their minds, it's not really their fault that they are failures and they go to great lengths to convince other people of these lies.