Though globally remote is worse. You're expected to be able to jump on cam at all hours. Have your cap nearby to cover up the bedhead.

I think that's the price you pay for being globally remote. We have some overseas support staff, and they knew before they took the job when they'd need to be expected to dial-in for team meetings, and they all seem to be fine with it.

My boss originally wanted people to use their webcam when joining those meetings when we first went fully remote. That initiative lasted about two weeks before no one did it anymore, including him.

I just wear a headset, and half the time I can leave it on mute anyway (especially if the puppy decides now is the time to chew on her squeakiest toy, or bark at some people running down the path beyond our back yard).

However, in my previous company every remote developer had a Polycom phone in their home office and the main office ran a PBX for them. I found that an order of magnitude better, because the phones had much much better sound quality, they were physically on the desk so there was a feeling of "this device connects me to my coworkers" associated with them, and they just lowered the barrier of calling someone by a ton.

They were so good, that we'd routinely just call each other up and keep a line open while we worked, so we could chat about work, what we were doing or just generally about our lives, and we really felt like we were sitting next to each other in a way that Zoom doesn't.

I still miss the phone on my desk, and I've been considering to buy one for years, as a gate with an asterisk multiple choice menu in between :)

Is it really that hard to put on a shirt for your meetings?

Screen sharing?

If the goal is to match the level of communication of being local, then webcams are a must.

It would take a lot for me to give it up for an office of any kind.

I can always do the social part of my job standing up, away from my desk; but if I have no permanent desk and corner, then I can not benefit from it.

Well holy shit, I did not expect that.

What have we learned?

There isn't a configuration that is good, productive and cost effective.

Pick any two.

…But nobody is buying a new MacBook every quarter.

I think you meant cheap. It's quite possible to have expensive, cost-effective configurations.

This is my claim. However you arrange it there exists some suckiness which people inevitably complain about that is a trade-off of having it in that specific configuration.

Yes, people will complain. But there's a huge difference between "John, could you please turn the volume of your headphones down" and "study after study has proven that open-floor plans are detrimental to productivity and health".

Sweet spot for me does not depend on the number of people. I used to work for a company in a huge open space with 25+ devs who understood the need for silence.

Now I'm in an open space with 8 people who do not understand the need for silence.

One guy's been on a diet for the past year and eats only raw carrots for lunch. The crunching is so loud I can hear it through my Bose QC15 headphones.

It starts with the screeching carrot peeler, I want to hang myself. The same guy spends all day making obnoxious snorting sounds and doesn't know what a Kleenex is.

Then another colleague decides to go on the same raw carrot diet. Is this a candid camera episode?

Then there's the daily chatter about last night's football game, incessant complaining about whatever the latest company announcement was, other people coming in to the room to yak about their code. Other people fart and stink out the whole room.

I understand the need people to be able to have a chat behind their desk, for professional or personal reasons. But that also bothers others. Conclusion is, open plan doesn't work.

I'm now on the verge of quitting my job for this reason and it's the same reason I quit my previous job.

When I start interviewing for other jobs, how can I ask "do people here understand the need to shut up" without appearing like an asshole?

If I didn't have kids I'd move to outer Mongolia and farm sheep.

Honestly? I don't think you can. If you're at the point of regularly quitting jobs over people eating and chatting in an office, you may just have to prioritize a private office or remote work. That will limit your options of course but it may be a tradeoff worth making.

I once walked into an office for an interview and it was too quiet for the number of devs in there. I knew it wasn't right for me.

I guess listen for the background noise?

You just have to pray you don't get stuck with people quite capable of generating a lot of extremely irritating internal (to the office) noise.