You will learn to loathe ice cream, the beach, and even the nicest people you could see there. (Quoth Kierkegaard: https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/7141047-marry-and-you-will-...)
The same holds true for life. All our lives end in non-existence, but it is non-existence which is meaningless, not the life that's lived. Music is beautiful while it is being played, not only once it is over.
-Marcus Aurelius
The article that made me realize this was Mark Manson's "The Most Important Question of Your Life" (https://markmanson.net/question). It's probably one of the best articles I've ever read.
I needed this article more than I knew
-My Brain
-- Gibby Haynes (And/or lots of other people)
But be aware, it can cause its own issues. Example, dating and saying what you really feel when you do. It can cause things to end quickly, but at the very least you won't regret not having said what you felt. :)
Regrets are chains you put on your own legs that weigh you down for the rest of your lifes journey. Just put them aside and agree not to wear them again in the future.
Regret is the essence of expecting your past self to know the things that only your present self knows.
As long as you don't make a habit of doing things you know in advance that you will regret, then you have nothing to regret at all: all your experiences, good-bad-and-otherwise, make you into the person you are.
And often it's actually true, but they erase all memory of the trade-offs they were considering at the time and disregard the possibility that acting differently might have led to an even greater regret.
So I think the Kierkegaard quote is not so nonsensical for people who - unlike yourself and myself - are prone to regrets. If you're bound to regret everything anyway then the feeling of regret driven by "why was I so stupid??"-logic may lose its intensity.
I miss working at the park. And I'm pretty sure it's not just nostalgia. I liked being outside. I liked working with the people there.
I've been doing pretty well at work lately, but I don't seem to get any happier with any type of promotion I receive. It's just more of a challenge, which I like, but it doesn't make me any happier.
I make more money now, and I just keep working hoping that I'll get to a point where I'm happy with my job, where I find something I like, but it doesn't really seem to be happening.
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I made a throwaway for this because after I typed it up, I realized it's just me lamenting about growing up.. but I figure it's worth saying anyway.
In learning to do this, people become more motivated than they would be if they just changed jobs. Patience, analysis, and cleverness are required but those skills when strengthened also tend to make people feel like they're in control of their lives again.
Believe me, you're not lamenting about growing up. Look at the details and it's probably closer to a situation that could genuinely use some rebalancing in your favor. Your career should be supporting you and not vice-versa.
If you enjoy your job, you're still well ahead of most people there too, even if it doesn't make you happy. Use your spare time to do the things you miss about working in the park, get outside, help people, etc. Maybe you could start a meetup.com group to give hiking tours of local trails/parks. Talk to a park ranger and find out if there's anything you can do with your group while in the park that would help the park.
My job now is essentially solving puzzles and stopping problems before they happen. And I have time to write something non-work related while I'm at work.
Sometimes though I wonder if it really is better. My current job can be frustrating. Sometimes I come up with solutions that make me feel incompetent. It took too long and the answer is inelegant.
When I was working at that restaurant all I had to do was put forth effort. It was physical and stressful to be sure but it never made me feel bad about myself.
Not something you really want to be doing for 30+ years though, but to be fair, I'm not sure the prospect of staring at this screen for 30+ is especially appealing either...
1. Can you do it for 30+ years?
2. What do you do if you get sick/injured?
3. What will you do after 30 years of working for a bit more than minimum wage? I don't think you can save a lot for a rainy day...
The main problem with screens (and the reason why I try not to do it as much as I used to) are 1) If you're interacting with a screen all the time, you're probably not interacting with someone in person, and everyone's ability to read body language and subtle cues probably goes way down when they do interact in person. 2) The current screens emit light that at the very least probably harm our biorhythms, but may harm us in other ways as well. Meanwhile the Kindle isn't much different than looking at a book or a sign. and 3) Screens provide a limited window into another world, and at least right now, that window has zero depth (and doesn't engage our other senses either while we're at it). We don't get to take advantage of having two eyes and seeing depth while we're on a screen. This may change once VR becomes more and more viable and realistic.
I do try to do things more analog myself now though. Writing or designing on paper while outside in good weather is much preferable to inside on a screen. It's also why I've gravitated to more offscreen hobbies, such as board games and board game design, as opposed to staying on screens and programming games and apps in my off hours. Screens can let you get those things done faster, though (i.e. it's much faster and less straining on my hands to type than to write all of my thoughts).
We will at some point have colored high-refreshrate e-ink monitors, I'm convinced of it.
I'm looking forward to e-ink, paper-like laptops and phones that work well in the sun!
Even the lack of ad-blocking in the browser I find beneficial, because there is practically no way I can tolerate the web without ad filtering, so I use it mostly for utility, not much for leisure.
Trying to switch back to Android recently, and I find that the instant responsiveness, the virtually unlimited selection of great apps, means that its a lot more likely to turn into a time sink for me.
I also spend more time on it when I haven't slept well. I'm happy to do other things when I'm rested but when I'm tired I don't want to do anything, and apparently looking at my phone meets the criteria for not doing anything.
I'm considering getting a dumb phone for on-call and talking to my friends/family...but if I wanted all of that other functionality I could just delete the apps that are addicting off of my phone.
Then you can use maps stored on the device and get a modern camera and lots of storage and so on but you aren't constantly checking apps for notifications and whatever.
Most of us are already choosing to give into screen time, what happens when we no longer have an easy choice?
You might enjoy Vernor Vinge’s novel Rainbows End, which offers a version of a future where augmented reality is so pervasive that people stop really caring about the difference.
I must say that my own takeaway from the novel is that that idyllic AR future is only going to work out if, as Vinge assumes, driverless cars also become a reality soon. We already have people walking into dangerous traffic situations because they are looking down at their phones, imagine the chaos if people start moving into dangerous paths because they are chasing something shown by the AR view.
Are you gonna have games that mess with your mind when you’re away from them?
That is so depressing, but thinking about it myself, 11 is probably a minimum. I have to change careers to selling ice creams at the beach or something.