I used to be really active on side projects when I was a teacher. I'd have my social interaction filled to the brim so side projects were a way to have some alone time and recharge.
But when life is good, it's hard to stop tinkering. Weekend-sized projects are the best. For me, it's an urge to create and see the core 20% come to life, not to maintain the boring parts over time.
Hormonal fluctuations is an interesting theory. I always thought it's just a need for variety -- sometimes consuming (i.e. developing taste, curating, exploring), sometimes creating, sometimes relaxing. For me the cycle is months at a time.
Say a people who enjoyed playing an instrument stops playing, etc.
The best companies I worked allowed for a bit of game/social activity between work sessions.
Hopefully when my current large work project wraps up I’ll be able to take a breather.
I played this computer game "eliza" by zachtronics and it had this very interesting solitaire mini-game inside it. I liked it so much I bought the zachtronics solitaire collection. And wow, I would launch it "between things" for a moment and it could easily spin the clock forward an hour or more.
I had to delete it from my computer.
I think there are some things you have to just say no to and go through the pain of making yourself bored so something better will fill in.
I think wingspan may remain on my wishlist :)
Whenever I realize that I was lost a moment, I get anxious about what I should be doing with my time instead.
I imagine this forum has its fair share of people who fall for this "overachiever fallacy". I'd be curious to hear how others deal with it.
Eventually I burned out on programming-based side projects. I switched to activities that do not require staring at a screen. So I build analog electronics, study music.
Then I had a heart attack. My mortality and the fragility of life was never more clear. I accepted that I could die, and let go of all the mental baggage I was holding onto.
I’ve felt ‘cured’ ever since. I don’t recommend anyone get a heart attack. But I do think people fall into patterns, and get stuck inside of them. Sometimes a “pattern interrupter” can break us out.
At work I am always looking for ways to do more than one thing at once. Learn a new skill. Teach something. Solve a small problem. Make myself feel good. Take the solution to the next level.
I think it’s okay to want to always be honing and advancing. Humans are always seeking lower energy paths. Maybe you just need to expand the scope of the skills you’re seeking. One of the most valuable skills in my work is the ability to stop and think about what I’m actually trying to do. That is honed through stopping and observing (meditation).
If anyone has suggestions on striking a balance, I’d love to hear them.
Later, I found out I have autism too - many autistic people “mask” around other people, altering their behavior to hide autistic traits. This is another thing causing (temporary) burnout after being around people.
If you look at techniques employed from modern buddhism / zen, where you just learn to settle into present (breath, sensory experiences etc.) you can learn to shift your mind from analysis to acceptance modes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZbfNtDCHdM
@sappho3000
11 months ago
stop glamorizing "the grind" and start glamorizing whatever this issometimes all it takes is sitting 20min in the morning just observing sensations in my body, and saying good morning to various organs haha. sounds silly but creates a solid foundation for my day.
I'll say LLMs have influenced this for me. I've lost some part of what made programming "interesting".
Sure, digging through docs and finding small-scale workable examples to for boillerplate/whatever was never fun, but a lot of what drew me to programming was the wading into the unknown and the satisfaction of figuring things out (often even "chore" type things).
I'll keep looking for a new hobby, I guess.
Related, I feel like programming jobs are on the way out, one way or another (at least for me); programming recreationally had the side benefit of increasing marketable skill--this was never a primary or even secondary motivator for me, but now seeing as it's benefit in that realm seems far smaller, I've also lost motivation there.
Maybe I'll feel a bit better as the weather improves.
Ever since I truly realised how I feel about dying, I have had to willingly put myself to take a break and play games once in a while. It gets better!
Anyways I mention it because if one can focus on selective tasks, like working on a side project, I think adhd is perhaps an easy/lazy diagnosis but maybe not the correct one.
People with adhd have lots of side projects because of adhd
I call them a zero day.
On the other hand, I remember that time you enjoy wasting is not a wasted time. I don't sleep well if I don't just chill and forget about the world, from time to time. It's like in the Sims. I aim towards my creativity and entertainment need bars to be filled. While coding, I often increase the fill of both bars.
In my case it's somewhat of a learned behavior, a lot of my favorite video games make me violently motion sick so over time I just stopped playing them.
Most TV is pretty boring IMO. There's always exceptions but it's not something I find myself regularly being drawn to.
I'm always tinkering on something (a longtime favorite is gardening), and I'm pretty sure I'll always be tinkering until the day I die. Some of us are just wired differently.
Can be a little difficult to connect with the mainstream folks though. I pretty much live in a different world.
However, creators often forget that mental exercise is like physical, you don't sprint 24/7 you have to pace intensity whether it's running or writing Clojure.
It is however impossible for me to play the latest games or watch the latest shows for 10 minutes without feeling like my time is being wasted.
For me learning piano has been a great alternative to programming in the off hours (typing is quite transferrable too!). Highly recommend if you're like me on screens all day.
This has lead to many, many side projects throughout the years, which I tend to like a zen garden[1]. Pruning, refining, improving, and sometimes rewriting.
As soon as I work out the game mechanics of any game, I just see it as just content now, and there is nothing holding me back to play any longer. Same with watching TV shows or movies, I lose interest pretty quickly and feel an urge to create something.
I've always been very in tune with time, our lack of it, and felt like consumption is a waste of time.
That said I believe creativity is hormonal (that is only my personal belief, unproven). It comes and goes. Some days I can't stop creating, somedays I want netflix and chill. But that's 10 days cycle of sorts, 10 days on, 10 days off.
Depending on where you live, it's perfectly normal that due to current events, or a personal loss in your life, etc. you might not feel the creative bug tickling you. The creative hormone might be totally wiped by your current environment or predicament; tiredness, anger, stress, all play into it.
After all, since our early days in the caves, drawing on walls, Humans wouldn't do so unless they had safety, a full belly, and a warm fire. A place to call home. Creative time needs conditions to be filled.
[1] https://noben.org