Yeah. Obviously, as a clearly superior parent, you are very aware that I have never tried any of these kinds of things at any level of depth, and of my own inferiority.

I've learned a lot from your words here and none of it was good.

> Putting your kid in a car (self driving or not) is putting them in the most dangerous situation they could possibly be in - car crashes are the number one cause of death for kids (in the US.)

It would follow that since no children die each year playing in active volcanos that's the safest thing they could possibly do. Kindergartens should be filled with magma.

Serious preventable accidents happen at 60+ MPH. Generally a slow 20-45 mph (35 mph average) drive around the neighborhood is much safer as there are almost no "serious" accidents.

Source: an organization with a fleet installed some driver tracking gps's and looked at the data over a year or two.

Those stats are probably very different for babies, who are more fragile and could get seriously hurt even at lower speeds.

Where are the stats on infant motor deaths where the baby is secured correctly and car speed is <= 40mph?

Most car seats are improperly installed. If you have one, get its installation checked by a professional.

In the SF Bay Area, you can have CHP check it for free. The full-time job of the officer that checked ours is investigating accidents where kids in car seats died. Almost all the child fatalities around here are due to improper car seat installation.

We had it dangerously wrong. Before the appointment, I read the manual twice and spent something like 60 minutes installing it. The seat used the latch system with a top anchor, it was a new car and we had a top-ranked car seat. All the straps were connected up correctly. During installation, I sat on it with all of my weight, pushed against the ceiling of the car with my back, pulled the tightening strap until it felt like it'd break, and then pulled harder. The straps were still too loose. I'm not small.

Our last car seat had a failure mode where one of the latch straps would just self-release every 1000 miles or so. I'm not sure if it was user error or not. It happened twice.

After that experience, I think part of the certification process for car seats and cars should involve proving that the majority of people that have never installed a car seat (i.e., first time parents) can get it right on the first try without reading the manual. The test group should include people with physical impairments, and should include at least a dozen popular car models going back a decade. (Car certification should be the same, but with multiple car seat models.)

100% this should be mandatory reading for all new parents.

Since you mention only SF, for anyone else who happens to read this, just go to your local Fire Department. They will 100% either know how to secure it for you or guide you to the correct place.

I found some NHTSA NCSA stats and posted them above.

- "where the baby is secured correctly" => "Restrained", <1 age group and 1-to-3 age group

- car speed is <= 40mph : NHTSA does not separate out accident speed, or separate residential roads from freeways

Apparently the NHTSA stats aren't different for babies (likely because babies are usually heavily restrained, and probably brought out in a car less e.g. don't need school runs). Below are some US NHTSA publications with detailed answers, but here's a loose paraphrase a) it's dangerous being a nonoccupant in a driveway: nontraffic backover/backing crashes caused ~460 deaths in 2008 (~300 nontraffic + 160 traffic), see [3]. b) reported fatalities per year age of child seem to be roughly constant, i.e. babies do not exhibit a higher rate of traffic deaths (probably because they're typically restrained in carseats). See [1] p5: Table 1. Passenger Vehicle Occupants Involved in Fatal Traffic Crashes, by Survival Status and Age Group, and Restraint Use, 2021. In fact, the peak is for children passengers 13+ or 15+, not babies. c) (These do not report crash speed, or separate freeway accidents from residential roads (posters here asking about "a drive around the neighborhood"), and you'd expect people would drive babies slightly slower.) NHTSA only separately reports nontraffic accidents (e.g. parking lots). Or non-crash deaths such as hyperthermia.

[1] https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/... "Traffic Safety Facts, 2021 Data, Children, DOT HS 813-456"

Key Findings • Of the 42,939 traffic fatalities in 2021 in the United States, 1,184 (3%) were children 14 and younger. • An estimated 162,298 children were injured in traffic crashes in 2021, a 17-percent increase from 139,058 in 2020. • Of the 26,325 passenger vehicle occupants killed in 2021 in traffic crashes, 863 (3%) were children. Of these 863 child passenger vehicle occupants killed in traffic crashes, restraint use was known for 769, of whom 308 (40%) were unrestrained. • Of the 1,184 children killed in traffic crashes, an estimated 294 (25%) were killed in alcohol-impaired-driving crashes in 2021.

[2] From NHTSA: NCSA (National Center for Statistics and Analysis) Motor Vehicle Traffic Crash Data Resource Page https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/#/

[3] "DOT HS 811 144, November 2008, FATALITIES AND INJURIES IN MOTOR VEHICLE BACKING CRASHES" https://crashstats.nhtsa.dot.gov/Api/Public/ViewPublication/...

A backover is a crash which occurs when a driver reverses into and injures or kills a nonoccupant such as a pedestrian or a bicyclist. Backovers can occur either on a public roadway or not on a public roadway, i.e., in a driveway or in a parking lot. The former are called traffic backovers and the latter nontraffic backovers. There are also “other backing crashes” that are not backovers, i.e., they do not involve a pedestrian or other nonoccupant, that occur when, for example, a driver backs into a tree or pole or when a driver backs out of a driveway or parking space and is struck by another vehicle. Together, backover crashes and other backing crashes are referred to as backing crashes."

Look at the table on page iv.: Fatalities and Injuries, by Type of Crash, Type of Vehicle

Something every new parent should learn (which some parts of car rides mimic), learn about the 4th trimester. Then learn the 5 S’s to mimic the womb:

Swaddle - wrap the baby

Side/stomache - position like the womb

Shush - white noise

Sway/swing - walking or bouncing

Suck - a finger, a sucker, etc

These were a life saver for my son. Most nights it was just swaddle + sway, on bad nights it took all 5. I think the reason cars work for so many baby’s is that car seats, the rhythm, the white noise from the car, etc… these all do the same thing.

Our first is just out of this period and it really was pretty rough. It look us a month or so to come across the 5 S's and it made a world of difference.

We also somehow got very very lucky in that he didn't need to be transitioned out of the swaddle, he just grew to dislike it so one night we just stopped cold turkey and it was fine. We've had friends that have had to do the one arm in / one arm out, swaddle the legs, etc. and transition over days or weeks to get any sleep at all.

My son always wriggle around until his hands were up next to his face (this is like 11 years ago). I started swaddling him in that position. We had an ultrasound picture that showed his had in a similar position, so I guess it carried over.

Same, almost all his US pictures show him with hands next to his face and he sleeps like that most of the time now too.

I disagree about giving them anything to suck on for the night. IIRC there's even research that could lead to late speech or trouble with speech later on.