This is why you should always ask for a preferred name. There’s lots of reasons why people don’t use their legal given name; I use my middle name and get annoyed when forced to use my first name. Many societies (ex: Thailand) use nicknames instead of legal given names.

You can do `Hello @TheirSlackHandle`.

This is what I do too. Basically, we are deflecting the awkwardness and/or blame to the software.

Or just "Hello, $reason_for_this_message"

That's less friendly.

Your director appreciates brevity over friendship.

No he doesn't.

Replace "Hello, $reason_for_this_message" with "Hello, $acceptable_level_of_polite_preamble; $reason_for_this_message", then.

I don't get what problem do all of you have with me saying "Hello Richie" to my colleagues.

Assuming the other end has filled in what Slack calls Display Name (which I interpret as "preferred name", is heavily implied by Slack's UI, and I think most people will too) … then you've addressed them as they prefer. (And if not, they can change it, and it instantly updates!)

I mean otherwise it's like literally any other communication medium, and you'll have to either take a culturally-appropriate respectful best effort guess at a preferred address, or just ask.

Or 'Hello Comrade Software Engineer/{x}' if you want to make it extra awkward.

I find that annoying when colleagues do that because it double notifies me, once for the message and once for the @

Don't say hello, just state your business.

You are being downvoted, but I wonder if people really appreciate the politeness on automated communication. If no person interacted with me, why would I want to be addressed respectfully? I think this mainly serves corporations which can humanize automated communication to make customers feel more cared about (by simulating interaction like a real human would initiate)

I believe it makes the experience more pleasant (at least for neurotypical people), but it'simportant to not overdo it. It shouldn't add friction or subtract from clarity.

It depends on how it's done. If it's part of the real message then it's easily ignored and no harm done, if it's a separate message then it wastes the time of whoever is on the receiving end (especially if they wait for a response before sending the real message).

I here this trope so much. It is tiring and closed-minded. Are you Western culture and male? Probably. I have seen whole blog posts dedicated to this matter. Really? This matter is so stressful that people need to write 100s of words about it? Sheesh.

Are you aware that it is polite to start a convo with people from South Asia with a small greeting? They wait for you to ack. If you don't ack, they will not continue.

It is an important part of intercultural communication to continuously adapt to different communication styles.

Why don't people write a tiny chatbot that applies to certain users? When the person says: "Hello." The bot can reply: "Hello!" It seems easy enough.

> They wait for you to ack. If you don't ack, they will not continue

Which is possibly one of the (admittedly probably very minor) reasons why they were left so far behind economically. Focusing on form over function in communication can be very counterproductive.

Not that I'm saying that saying "Hello, how are you?" to someone is waste of time. However certain people/cultures really go overboard with this and expected outsider to comply with these norms when they have much better things to do is not the most sensible idea.

>to comply with these norms when they have much better things to do

I'm not claiming to be an expert on the matter, but I have a lot to say on it. (Shocker! Someone on the internet with an opinion! (: )

I believe you may have hit on the crux of the thing, if by accident. From my own perspective, it seems that the proper greeting is the most important matter - it is more important than the work you have in mind. There is no "better things to do", because the relation and respect of the thing leads to those work things.

Maybe giving an few examples would make some kind of sense.

Example 1:

"I am in a rush I can't follow formalities!"

"I don't deal with people who rush."

Example 2:

Imagine someone who pees on the floor in your house because they exclaim that, "It is too much effort to go to the bathroom, access the toilet, and clean up afterward!" Would you invite that person back into your house after that? Would you have a desire to work with them, and keep a beneficial relationship going with them? Maybe? Depending on who they are, or what the circumstance is, but for most circumstances, sensible people would answer with a very firm, "No. Of course not!" because what they did is gross and rude. What they did is plainly disrespectful - it is a disrespect of laziness and indifference. They do solely what benefits themselves and have no interest in how that may impact you. It is contemptuous.

In my mind, a working relationship, is the result of having a relationship with that person. It is something that advances from having a bond with that person. You offer them respect, they return it, and in doing so you can be assured that they aren't a crazy person, or are going to do something that puts you in a terrible spot. The fruit of that respect, that bond, is a relationship that permits you to work with them.

Who decides which side should do the adapting?

Oh, that one's easy.

You are entitled to no adaptation from others. Your reactions to their "errors" are your problem, and your responsibility, although of course you can choose to start a fight over whatever you want.

On the other hand, if you do not adapt to them, sometimes they will choose to start a fight over it, or be offended, or whatever. As such, if you want to improve your social outcomes, consider allocating energy to adapting to others.

See? Simple. No centralized decision-making necessary. Each person can ruin their own life however they choose.

This genuinely misunderstands people from internal-only diverse cultures like Mainland Chine and India where they make frequent social faux pas yet are convinced they could never be uncomfortable or offensive to other cultures because "my country is so diverse!". If I had one Euro for each I heard that, I would be richer.

My general rule: If you are from an externally diverse cultural then you need to adapt to non-diverse cultures (Japan Korea etc) or internal-only diverse cultures (South Asia, Southeast Asia). If you cannot adapt to other cultures, then what is the point of working in a multicultural setting?

Do you want to talk or do you want information? Asking a question gets you the requested information when I respond, and a Hello is a request to talk.

Asking for a hello is holding the information until I'm engaged, at which point we should just meet for 5 minutes because it will be faster.

Also some cultures put the pressure of communication on the listener.

Say, you're in the same town as a friend and want to meet them. The American approach might be to ask, "Hey, I'm in town. Want to hang out?" The sender has done their job of delivering a clear message.

But some cultures would just say, "Hey, I'm in town."

That removes the pressure from the other person to say no, I don't want to see you.

You can also bat it back and say, "Joe's is a nice place to eat if you like burgers," which hints that you're available to have lunch together, but it could also mean a polite "ok".

But the ack is there to make sure the other person is paying attention before delivering the message, so they don't misinterpret it.

I don't necessarily think one is better. TCP vs UDP. If it's an important message, an American might still say, "We have to talk."

Thank you!

Mandatory reference to nohello.net/en/

Clickable: https://nohello.net/

Clickable English: https://nohello.net/en/

That's about something else entirely. You are not supposed to write "Hello" and then wait for a reply making asynchronous communication synchronous.

Starting a full message with your request/business with a greeting is basic decency with no harm.

It doesn't matter, it should always be `Hello $theirPreferredName`.

It should not. It should be "hello" and nothing else.