Safari? I don’t know what counts as ‘this bloatware crap’ but if you haven’t looked into it perhaps it could meet your definition.

Actually, I just started using Safari at home recently, and I love it. Most Apple stuff, while locked down to some extent, seems to give me the freedom to actually be productive and do the tasks I need to do pretty easily. Sure, you have to adopt the "Apple Way" and use their software in somewhat the way that they designed it to be used, but for the most part it's really flexible and able to be used to achieve all of my goals in a simple way, without much fuss. Windows is laughable today and Linux is open and free but also has a minimal level of "fuss" you need to do in order to keep it working and get new software working. With MacOS I find I have to do almost zero maintenance and most of my time is productive. I'm going to switch my work PC to Mac as well as soon as this pile of silicon I'm using dies.

Safari in “I’m a journalist and gonna die” mode (lockdown?) is surprisingly usable and very hardened against tracking.

Unfortunately Safari cannot run uBlock Origin.

Promising

We are inviting you to pay for Orion browser by Kagi (if using macOS/iOS).

Zero-telemetry, with built in adblocker.

Business model: pay for the browser.

Your turn!