I surround myself with things that are of these words: good, love, kindness, peace, serenity, tranquility, purity, loveliness, wholesomeness, cleanliness, positivity, light, fruit, right, proper, meant, should, high.

Reject dark, evil, bad, negative, low, death, darkness, sinister.

It's a duality you need to escape. Pick the good side.

If you surround yourself with light, your life gets brighter. I cannot imagine surrounding myself with anything negative.

If you keep walking where you're going, you might get there. If you pick the side of good, then you should end up somewhere more positive than walking toward darkness.

Caught in desire, you see only the manifestations.

Yet mystery and manifestations arise from the same source.

This source is called darkness.

Darkness within darkness.

The gateway to all understanding.

> For the unwanting soul sees what's hidden, while the ever-wanting soul sees only what it wants. Two things, one origin, but different in name, whose identity is mystery. Mystery of all mysteries! the door to the hidden.

I think the hard part of asking for help is that I already feel soooo vulnerable just asking, even the slightest slight can seem like the most brutal attack and drown out the help I do receive.

So I try to remind myself that often if someone is asking for help, they may have had to muster a lot of courage even to ask. Thank you for reminding me of that.

If you find yourself in one of those times, convince yourself that it is only temporary and look for the good. Help someone else out because serving others will give you a boost. Surround yourself with uplifting people. Make small steps if that helps.

Some people give religion a bad rep, but faith, hope, and charity are real and uplift the soul.

The problem is nobody ever told me about its utility. I was just dragged to church every Sunday and occasionally lectured on God / etc. It was really easy for a young mind to get cynical about it especially amongst a family that was very preachy.

I wish someone had said "whether or not you believe in THIS god, there is utility in believing in SOMETHING higher than yourself. When you grow up, and are deep into your work life, there will be dark days when you will have nothing that can comfort you, other than the belief that things will get better, and that someone or some thing is more in control than you think".

I wish someone had explained that there is immense utility in the community of religion. That you could end up in your 30s without much of a broad social community. Sure friends, sure family, but not really belonging to any community bigger than those (other than work).

I feel like the religious people around me as a youth really failed. There IS actually a good reason to have a faith. It doesn't have to be because you're afraid of going to hell. There's actual utility in it, mental utility.

This isn’t to say religion is necessarily like those things, but it does indicate a flaw in the idea that behaviors that stick around mustn’t be so bad.

(Alcoholism has a massive component gifted to us by the genetic lottery, so it's really unfair to bundle it with these things.)

If faking belief weren't so detrimental to the soul it would be an obvious choice for those people with a stubborn habit of needing proof.

People find meaning and purpose in science too, but of course if you dig far enough you realize that that the proof problem is never really solved.

So, you gotta have faith wherever you turn. One of the reasons I've also become more open to spirituality as time has humbled me a bit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Demon-Haunted_World

This is actually huge.

I went from being dragged to church as a kid to "screw this I'm an athiest now!".

However as I got older, I realize there is tremendous benefit in exactly what you are pointing out. There is a large community of people who generally care about each other and help each other out, etc.

It doesn't matter the specific religion. I've moved to areas where I attended the local Unitarian Universalist church for this reason. They don't practice any specific religion, but the community aspect of it was a big help, because in the past I've been in situations where I was truly alone and could have used some support. It's comforting to know there is a group of people out there willing to help you if you get in a bind (and you would do likewise to them).

I consider myself a pantheist now, so I will listen to pretty much anything people want to say regarding faith. That's up to them.

I'm in one of those states right now. Unhappy with work. Uncertain about money. Poor health. It really piles up.

> If you find yourself in one of those times, convince yourself that it is only temporary and look for the good.

I'm fortunate enough to know that it's not permanent. I've been in these states before, and I've gotten out of them. It's just hard to see through the fog of uncertainty though. My brain doesn't work well when it's stressed.

For me, it helps to have a project that bring me joy. I've been doing a lot of hobby coding. It's really nice to code for myself again. I haven't really done this much hobby coding for 20 years, and it's like meeting an old friend.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Unfortunately, for some, that does not continue into teenage years/young adulthood/the rest of life. For a variety of reasons.

Those memories & the potential yearning for them do not particularly go away for most, it seems to be part of the human condition. Methods of coping with the loss of meaningful holidays are vast, but substance abuse seems quite common.

While I do not know how universally true this is - I can only say I’ve heard many an anecdote being from a military family & I’m currently living on a marine base - it seems similar to soldiers fated to die gruesome deaths in foreign lands screaming for their mothers in their final moments. A somewhat universal experience. Maybe I’m thinking too deeply into it though.

I have spent many Christmas's holed up in motels alone with a bottle, thinking "what's the point?". You think going through that one year would be enough, but it wasn't enough to learn my lesson.

It's no place to be, but it CAN get better as you've pointed out.

I noted in a prior comment I went from a senior software engineer to a homeless shelter.

I'm back to being a senior software engineer.

Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays everyone.

Merry Christmas.

In my experience that's always a dude. Women have their lives fall apart in different ways.

I'm willing to make a gendered assumption occasionally.

Merry Christmas

This thread has been a good read; to me its a reminder to charish what I have and remember to look forward to tomorrow. Some Sun would sure help...

I just got remarried this year and can confirm that tomorrow will be better if you allow those that love you to help, and choose long term betterment and stability over short term fixing happiness.

This is one of the the truths that people need to hear during difficult times throughout their lives.

And, after a history of things seeming hopeless but turn out not to be, sometimes people can remember and believe when they tell themselves, "This, too, shall pass."

We modern advanced humans are surprisingly resilient in many ways, and we need to keep ancient primitive programming from precluding that.

I'm spending this Christmas alone, and boy, oh boy, do I hope others aren't going through the same.