Note that I’m not denying that people might have mental illnesses that have deep rooted or physical causes that _need_ therapy or medication in order to live a fulfilling life.
Personally, I was an emotional basket case until well after college when I decided that I should give the "be normal" thing a try. Turns out being normal makes a lot of things easier in life.
It's amazing how much freedom you have to be weird on the inside when you're normal on the outside.
However, just saying "there is nothing wrong with you" often means "your state does not fit any of predefined diagnoses" rather than "it is perfectly normal to feel that way". The same way people often complain about back pain and doctors can only say "there is no acute injury, Xray is fine, nothing I can do for you". It doesn't mean you can ignore it and go about your day. It means that most likely you have to find a lifestyle change to fix this yourself. It can be yoga, it can be getting a better chair and being more active, it can be a new mattress, etc.
Physical pain is more straightforward because most people understand that feeling pain is not normal, it means something is wrong. Nobody will tell you "if doc said you are okay, then your back pain is made up, you should stop being so dramatic".
That's "normal" to me, when I don't have to put masks on to fit into a preconceived notion of who society wants me to be. That's also a big part of mental health, not boxing people into mental disorder diagnoses, but helping people figure themselves out and be comfortable in their own skin.
People use these things to calibrate their interactions with a person they're meeting for the first time. Once people see you as "normal" they're more prone to listen when you start throwing out the weird ideas.
Your version of normal is "don't rock the boat" normal. Rocking the boat is painful emotionally so don't do it normal.
I've spent a lot of time in therapy trying to undo that version of normal and figure out who I really am. And you're probably perfectly fine in your version of normal. Which really illustrates that mental health is very personal and multidimensional. It doesn't mean I'm fucked up and you're not or visa versa. Gotta meet people where they're at.
Regularly BASE jumping is seriously dangerous to the point where almost nothing else people do that’s “living on the edge” really compares. Think active war zone levels of danger, but they don’t need to dress up in spikes to show off how edgy they are. It’s possible to come off as a calm high school librarian while still being an extreme adrenaline junkie.
Next time you walk past a middle aged banker type in a sports coat consider they could be a furry, you just don’t know. Assuming someone seeming normal is actually normal is being blind to the possibilities.
I was trying to contrast the external and internal presentations of self, not conflate them. My point is that a "normal" external presentation doesn't make someone a "normal" person. Someone can act, consume, and behave certain ways that help them feel normal, but in the end it's a coping or survival mechanism of sorts. If I fit in with the "in" crowd it affords social and economic status. That's the version of "normal" my comment was responding to.
Therefore someone that seems normal to all appearances is normal. If in the privacy of their own mind they pray to the invisible fairy living in their left nostril, well how do you know that’s not what 90% of people do?
That's what were losing, people don't even try to be normal anymore, because having a mental illness has been normalised.
It's not the right side of history, it's not progressive, it's not inclusive. There will be a price to pay and we'll only find out how much it is once we get the bill.
I think I know what you get at, but it is important to differentiate between e.g. someone with social anxiety overcoming their anxiety to take part in society (the good way of "trying to be normal") and someone repressing what should actually be worked on (the bad way, hurting both the person, and, long term, society).
The important point with all things regarding the human mind (education, psychology etc.) is that one strictly can't infer what actually happens from outside observation alone. Let's say there exist two persons, A and B, and both play 6 hours of videogames a day. But person A is a perfectly healthy introvert, while with person B this actually is addictive behaviour concealing mental health problems the person hasn't found the strength to confront yet. It depends on how they feel while playing, and how they feel when not playing.
I was like that for a while, but then as I got older I realised it was much smarter to buy a tv, put it in the living room, and never use it. Now people think I’m normal and I never get questioned about why I don’t have a tv, why I read so much, do I think I’m above popular culture etc.
Amusingly, I did once get busted when a friend wanted to use said TV and it turned out the card in the cable box had expired months before. Didn’t even know it had a card - the cable box came with my broadband/phone line package. Got rid of the box after that.
I guess the more modern equivalent would be to watch an episode or two of Netflix shows now and then.
Data point: We don't have a TV in my student house, and no one has commented on that, even though we have had on average maybe 5 visitors per week for over a year. Offhand I'd estimate that about 50 unique people have seen our living room. I'm in Sweden.
Speculation: The common factor is you. You influence your visitors with regards to what topics to talk about and how to treat these topics.
I'm quite concerned about the rate of medication being prescribed these days, often as a band-aid fix when people really are in need of serious life/habit changes. But I'm really surprised by the amount of people in this thread talking down on psychology and psychotherapy.
Of course, falling back on a diagnosed condition and using it as a crutch or an excuse for bad behaviour can be awful. I used to know a person with BPD, who absolutely loved being able to let herself off the hook for terrible behaviour. She would easily make friends, and sometimes would keep them for a few years. But eventually, one by one and sometimes in groups, they would cut her out of their lives because she was utterly toxic and selfish. So naming your problem can be positive or negative, but I think that depends on the nature of the problem.
I think my teenage years would have been easier if my family had been willing to talk about our anxiety rather than just pretend it didn't exist.
There is of course a danger that the diagnosis becomes an excuse - which is a particular problem with something like social anxiety where (at least in my experience) the only path to improvement is to face your fear and do whatever you're anxious about.
She has been and still is going through some tremendously stressful situations however and I’m trying to balance that against the fact that more stress is on the way. I completely agree with you but it’s tough.
Jordan Peterson talks about this a lot, especially in "12 Rules For Life" and in his lectures about his daughter's medical condition. I couldn't find the relevant quote but he touches on it in this lecture segment [1]
Can happen to anyone, of course, and it's not necessarily a reflection on character in its own right, but it is worth taking some thought on the value of advice on how to keep your life together when it comes from someone who's demonstrated such an inability to keep his own life together.
Even on the simplest things - his constant line is "clean your room", and every time you see him on a Zoom interview from home it's wall-to-wall clutter in the background. Granted, "clean your room" is pretty uncontroversial, and is good advice - as is that you should pet a cat when you find the chance. But, in this as in everything else, epistemology matters: you do want to consider the source.
Anxiety is not a disorder that causes or relates to introversion or extroversion.
Glad you're in a good place now but be careful on pumping yourself up at the expense of people who are truly struggling with anxiety. It's a mothafuka, not an out.
No competent medical professional would've told you "You have anxiety, so go sit at home neglecting your social life." That's the OPPOSITE of what people with anxiety should be doing.
And while I hope most professionals can be trusted to use it appropriately, I think the whole "awareness" thing makes a lot of laypeople (including self-diagnosed people and people connected to them or actual patients) misused it horribly. The latest I've seen is "mental health days". I'm sure some professionals would advocate taking some time off in specific circumstances, but is it wise to reward yourself for being stressed by having a holiday? That seems about as wise as telling an alcoholic to take sick leave as a reward for their big hangovers. I'm not a mental health professional, but the people who give advice on taking "mental health days" do not seem to be either.
And that's just the latest one that bugged me. There's an endless list of advice (both for people with mental illness, and people around them) that seems to be vaguely related to mental health advice, but isn't, and it's accepted because it sounds "nice".
Yes. No matter what the fashion of the moment moves anyone to call it, it absolutely is wise to take a break and recover when you can do that without letting anyone down. The stress will still be there tomorrow, and if you're on a good team, you don't have to carry it alone. As long as you don't shade out when it really needs to be all hands on deck, you're fine. It's not hard to spot the ones who abuse it, and at this point in my career I don't find it hard to avoid places where they're welcome.
Better that than needlessly go one day closer to burnout, don't you think? Speaking of which - to conceive of it as a "reward", and an undue one at that, strikes me as sounding like nothing more strongly than burnout. There's a place you get to where it feels like you're thriving on the misery, but that's only because it's been so long since you had anything to compare it to. The next place down from there is worse.
So yeah, I don't begrudge it of my colleagues when they take the time they need, nor do they of me. We've all seen what happens when you don't. None of us wants to see any more of it. You don't want to either, especially not from the inside. Not everyone makes it back.
It's one of several things people are very confident are good for mental health, but I've not seen it actually pushed by any mental health professional (at least, not in the way that it's often used). I'm not totally against the idea of "chucking a sickie" (a time honored Australian tradition) to get some personal admin done, or just take a break. But I've seen no evidence that it's a good coping strategy if you're got actual problems.
If there's a problem at work, you're better off actually dealing with it either fixing the problem (which might be you or it might be external, or a bit of both) or looking for a new job.
Many mental health problems are cycles of short-term rewards for long-term pain, a lot like addictions. I think this is basically the "B" in CBT - maladaptive behavioural responses to stressors (which need to be replaced with more useful responses) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Coping#Negative_techniques_(ma...
> Whereas adaptive coping strategies improve functioning, a maladaptive coping technique (also termed non-coping) will just reduce symptoms while maintaining or strengthening the stressor. Maladaptive techniques are only effective as a short-term rather than long-term coping process.
> Examples of maladaptive behavior strategies include dissociation, sensitization, safety behaviors, anxious avoidance, rationalisation and escape (including self-medication).
> These coping strategies interfere with the person's ability to unlearn, or break apart, the paired association between the situation and the associated anxiety symptoms. These are maladaptive strategies as they serve to maintain the disorder.
Note, I'm not an expert on this. But I suspect neither are a lot of people disagreeing with me.
More generally, a lot of what seems like "good advice" on mental health could be just reinforcing maladaptive coping techniques, because the seem like common sense (they are how many people cope with problems, even though they're not helpful in the long run).
And I'm guessing that the people who would be most harmed by bad advice (or advice that might be good in some situations, but bad in others) will be the people probably should be taking very different advice (e.g. "deal with those underlying problems" instead of "take a day off if it's getting too much").
I didn't know anxiety was a treatable condition until I was 21. And I've only been able to actually go get help years after that.
Even being aware of this I have a bias with typing out "mental health" without realizing it.
We are probably doomed until "brain health" replaces "mental health" in common language.
I had really bad social anxiety about a decade ago but the treatment for my ingrown toe nail was so much better and taken more seriously than a problem with my brain. The first person I went to about it had a community college degree and said they didn't believe in medication. Just incredible.
And from the article, people who can't afford their product describes a lot of people:
> So she joined BetterHelp, a popular therapy app. She paid $65 each week but spent most of her time waiting for her assigned counsellor to respond.
I also used it for a couple months a few years ago and gained nothing from it. Seeing an “actual” therapist afterwards made the differences in quality of treatment immediately obvious.
Which results in practitioners giving a diagnosis immediately based on “I think you might have this, so let’s connect you with a psychologist/etc to dig deeper and find out”.
That’s simply the bureaucratic path through the system.
But my concern is that patients looking for an answer hear, and identify with, “I have xxxx, that explains it!!”
When you also take into account that some symptoms are comorbid, and may entirely disappear upon the underlying issue being resolved or managed.
And that’s just the bureaucratic incentives. I’m unclear on the professional & revenue incentives for diagnosis and referral to other professionals, possibly within the same umbrella organisation.
Hyperbole aside, access to mental health services isn't going to invent mental health issues for most people. There's an extremely large underserved population without access to any mental health services. And even with access it can take months to get an appointment.
The services need to be as highly regulated as offline mental health services to protect patients. Besides that, it's a many times over net positive on society if people get the help they need.
It's a net positive even if a few people need attention and get that by faking or acting out a mental health disorder.
That being said, I imagine that same idea comes into play in most service-related fields that are trying to solve a problem: consulting, law, healthcare, and more. But maybe it feels more scary because with emotional health, it can cut deeper than most consulting gigs.
And thank goodness they are getting more people in. The biggest problem in mental health is that the majority of people who need help don't get it.
> Mental health issues can spread socially
No they can't. There is zero evidence that you can get clinical depression, bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, or anything else serious socially.
it's more likely that because someone you know or interact with socially admitting to having depression, and thus, clear the stigma for yourself to also admit/recognize it too. Might actually be a good outcome.
It wasn't too long ago that ADD/ADHD panic was absolutely massive. Half the boys at my school were on ADHD meds. Any time a boy acted out, teachers at my school would make a call to their parents to persuade them to see a doctor and get some ritalin or whatever else they handed out by the bucketful. I was a quiet kid and sometimes--maybe once a week--would have goofy moments and that was enough to have my family get a call. 10 year old boys aren't meant to be chained down to desks all day--meds and ADD panic were a way for people to solve a "problem" of energetic kids and someone was glad to make money off it. Some kids do legitimately have disorders and need help, but some things we just grow out of.
This stuff shouldn't be for profit. Someone, somewhere, is all too eager to get people hooked on the idea that they have a problem and the only cure is what they're selling. Digital marketers and tech investors in particular are eager to jump on this. They love preying on the vulnerable and making them feel more vulnerable.
And I think just this alone helped to manage most of them to regular adulthood.
Not saying that solves it, I just don't see why would apps worry you particularly much in context of issues you're pointing out.
That said, I don't think what you're pointing at goes beyond issue of monopolization (giving one side of the market relatively more power) and those previously mentioned. To give an example, you'd achieve the same problem if they simply created 'mental health board' interest group with PR and lobbying - those can be very powerful, my personal favourite example being pork producers making 'bacon' a cool thing. Putting competition out of business seems tangential to other points in the thread, unless I'm missing something.
The problem is inherent, apps just streamline process and make it more clear. Relaying on disorganization of some class to produce friction that will limit their whole effectiveness (including part that is clearly harmful) is a delay tactic at best, not a solution.
Is there actually research showing that mental illnesses spread through social groups?
> Findings in this literature are consistent with social modeling/learning of NSSI increasing risk of initial engagement in NSSI among individuals with certain individual and/or psychiatric characteristics.
https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/13811118.2013.7...
NSSI meaning non-suicidal self injury.
I see in your initial comment, you talk about these apps diagnosing people and that causing somebody to develop the actual disease (I guess like a reverse placebo).
Whether that set of behaviors is just a behavioral problem or a diagnosable disease, I'll leave that to the experts.
Mental health issues can spread socially: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Social_contagion
There is a term used in a theraputic setting called catastrophizing: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/catastrophizing
I worry that these apps encourage people to catastrophize things, which is good for their profits, and bad for the mental health of their customers. I find it difficult to imagine a scenario where one of these app makers doesn't find a mental health issue that you need help with (and to pay them for). That sort of "diagnoses" can cause you to develop the disorder that they have diagnosed you with.
It's an extremely treacherous situation.