"Then after a little while, put that shit on your resume and move on to something better. Rinse, repeat."

I guess I'm one of the pessimists.

I'm 10 years in and nothing has gotten better. The benefits have been eroding too. It never paid off and I have trouble seeing it ever pay off if the first third of my career has been so terrible. I've become disengaged, which I'm sure will lead to a vicious cycle.

I can only speak from my own history, but I've worked in Houston, TX and NYC, and both have pretty good senior dev jobs available at all times.

Are you maybe not applying for those higher positions? Junior devs will always be taken advantage of unless you know someone. I even took a Jr Dev job (on paper) only 6 years ago or so, because the manager knew me. I was paid more than the senior developer, and he reported to me in practice.

I'm not allowed (have a wife) to leave my current area (Philly-ish). I have applied for a couple jobs. I dont apply to most jobs because there is no salary info or the salary range listed is not any better than my current job.

I'm an intermediate developer. I've unofficially filled roles like senior dev and tech lead. I've also worked as an ASC (supposed to be reserved for senior devs). Oh well

You should apply for senior dev roles. I’m not saying lateral career moves are always bad (and sometimes that’s all that is possible), but I always look at a next job as a way to level up. Even if I don’t fit the requirements right then and there, I have the confidence I can do the role. Obviously, you shouldn’t level skip - meaning apply for something two levels higher than where you are at (unless you are supremely confident in your abilities or are going to a smaller company where that sort of thing makes sense) — but going from intermediate to senior is what makes sense. When hiring a senior dev, I’m not looking for someone with a decade of senior experience because that person is probably overqualified or will want to be quickly promoted to principal/staff . I want someone who can fill in the role well for a long time, which means someone who is intermediate but has stepped up to do senior work when asked, is the right move.

My problem is that all the tech I built experience with is obscure (Neoxam, FileNet). That's obviously in addition to my lack of faith in the system and being treated fairly.

Sorry just reading along and felt a need to point out that it seems you’re likely being your own biggest obstacle, more so than “the system”. Systems are meant to be hacked.

Exactly. You can always come up with excuses for why something isn’t going to work out, but if you want to change your circumstances, you have to at least try. You might still fail, but you have to try.

Oh, I've tried - multiple times. The people/companies that make the rules don't have to follow them. If you repeatedly beat a dog, do you expect it to be friendly or do you expect it to cower in the corner hoping it doesn't get beaten again?

If the company ignores their own policies repeatedly to my detriment, then I fail to see how I'm the obstacle. Doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result is insanity - I've simply been conditioned to expect the company to screw me over.

Check out Mindset by Carol Dweck. You’ll either think it’s total nonsense and will quickly forget about it or you’ll be inspired by it to put some of the principles into action.

I haven't read that one. But what I know about mindset is that it can help you frame your experience, and that can maybe even be leveraged into behavior changes that can help someone. But it won't help change restrictions imposed by others.

To summarize the book, people with a growth mindset rarely ascribe their circumstances on restrictions imposed by others and instead focus on changes they can make. Those with a fixed mindset avoid changing themselves because they believe much of their life is determined by things outside their control.

It’s like a spectrum where few people are fully one or the other. And some people are “fixed” in one part of their life and “growth” in others. Virtually everyone has both traits and must work to find opportunities to be more growth-oriented — assuming of course, that’s something they really want to be.

You can change how you react to restrictions imposed by others. Many restrictions aren't as solid as you may be assuming. For example, you say that "you're not allowed to leave Philly", but many people don't even live in the same country as their families, in an effort to make more money and offer them a better standard of living. A less extreme version of that is living in a different city for some period and commuting home on weekends. And that should generally be a negotiation, not a diktat.

Those negotiations are off the table. Living apart is also something I'm not allowed to do.

You've decided you don't want to. And that's fine. But it's ultimately your decision.

It's not that I don't want to do those things. It's that I don't want to be divorced even more.

What is on the table then? If that is unchangeable, what is in your control when it comes to a new job?

I've posted to some internal and external jobs. That's about it.

If your end goal is a new and better job, what’s a step you can take (that you haven’t taken yet) to make it happen?

If the job looks good, apply. Becoming expert at interviewing is a real thing and improves your ability to navigate the process. If they don't want to pay what you're asking, then you've at least benefited by getting one more interview experience under your belt.

I actually interview really well. It just doesn't seem to translate to money. (Probably because IT is a cost center)

Thank you for saying that. I love writing down my stories. It is therapeutic, almost like writing them releases me from the bad memory. It is basically a VERY lightly edited stream of consciousness.

Software is simultaneously in "high demand" and continually in a state of lay offs, unemployment, and unhirable students. If you were lucky in the 2010's, sure, but dev work is increasingly exported and those safe and comfy don't have to worry about it so they don't look at what's going on.