To summarize the book, people with a growth mindset rarely ascribe their circumstances on restrictions imposed by others and instead focus on changes they can make. Those with a fixed mindset avoid changing themselves because they believe much of their life is determined by things outside their control.

It’s like a spectrum where few people are fully one or the other. And some people are “fixed” in one part of their life and “growth” in others. Virtually everyone has both traits and must work to find opportunities to be more growth-oriented — assuming of course, that’s something they really want to be.

You can change how you react to restrictions imposed by others. Many restrictions aren't as solid as you may be assuming. For example, you say that "you're not allowed to leave Philly", but many people don't even live in the same country as their families, in an effort to make more money and offer them a better standard of living. A less extreme version of that is living in a different city for some period and commuting home on weekends. And that should generally be a negotiation, not a diktat.

Those negotiations are off the table. Living apart is also something I'm not allowed to do.

You've decided you don't want to. And that's fine. But it's ultimately your decision.

It's not that I don't want to do those things. It's that I don't want to be divorced even more.

What is on the table then? If that is unchangeable, what is in your control when it comes to a new job?

I've posted to some internal and external jobs. That's about it.

If your end goal is a new and better job, what’s a step you can take (that you haven’t taken yet) to make it happen?