Well, let's not get carried away. There are a handful of reasons at best:
1) they feel the laptop is drab/empty and want to decorate it
2) they are fans of an artist/band and want to promote it
3) they want to broadcast the world the company they work for and/or their choice of frameworks and tools
4) they want to cover some scratch
And that's pretty much it
Some time ago a work colleague went on this rant about how stickers are dumb. Only to find a sticker on his laptop when he got back from lunch. He thought it was funny and it became a running joke for a while that everyone who went to a conference would add a sticker to his collection while he was not looking.
My favorite hammer has a Windows (3.1x) sticker on one side and a 1st gen Intel Inside on the other.
makes me think of the old "think different" ads.
I put a layer of aluminium foil (held by double faced adhesive tape) because that's the thinnest completely opaque material I could come up with, and put a sticker on it because it was quite ugly otherwise.
It's practically the main reason in companies with standardized equipment.
At my previous company we all had stickers on the laptops that showed they were company property.
You could easily order any kind of sticker printed and put them on your computer, but that would be cheating. Back in the days when I interacted with the tech community in my city more, there was this assumption that any sticker you have is a proof that you've been somewhere, or hanged with some crowd.
(I sometimes miss times when I had a laptop. I have a collection of stickers with stories with nowhere to put.)
43) They want to cover up the manufacturers logo on principle
43.5) They want to cover up the brand logo because people keep asking what "yoga" has to do with a laptop.
46) They figure it's a good idea to look "patriotic" about their company (but unlike 3 their work laptop is basically never seen in public)
I just use it to mark my ownership and I like to see them as a visual marker of the times and places I had been to during the usage of that laptop.
There are many more reasons to put stickers on stuff.
Being a software dev has taken me around the world and given me many opportunities, those "stickers" are to remind me how lucky I am.
uh, honestly, i put a stick on my laptop just so i can tell it apart from the other macbooks in my office.
Still, sure you can come up with a few more reasons (hence my "pretty much it"). But I don't think you can came with 10 reasons, much less "thousands", never mind millions. And 95%+ would still fall in the categories mentioned.
You don't need to eat chocolate cake for sustenance (and in fact it's not ideal for that anyway).
It's a minor practical benefit to having a sticker collection on there, which is different to covers, or tape, or other things.
There probably aren't millions of discreet reasons, but there are millions of people with their own reasons, even if they largely overlap, the rationale will be slightly different.
After all, we have seen both kinds in our workplaces and they sometimes have certain attributes?
I've never _ever_ had anybody preach to me about some tech/event/company that they put a sticker of. My laptop is mine and I don't give a damn about what others think about it. I assume that this is the case of the vast majority of people who put stickers there.
This whole conversation reminds me of people complaining about vegans preaching.
Like those who do it are shills, easily influenced, sheeps, etc - and the ones who don't are completely immune to any branding/advertising/marketing, because of reasons (usually there's a sense of superiority bound to it).
Funny enough, this is just an illusion to them, because it doesn't matter what they think, they're still influenced by brands, by the simple fact that every single product/service is branded and signals something to someone, even if the signaling is "I don't buy into corporate brands". Because that's how humans work, with symbols and signals.
To make matters worst, it's when you think you're immune to such thing that you're most vulnerable. It's like you're a sitting duck.
The sooner you embrace we're influenced everyday, the sooner you'll be more aware of it and prepared for it.
Other people they might see you as a weeb.
When in reality maybe someone you like stickered it there, and you just know that the name of the thing is Totoro. Only you know, yet it's still a signal to people who interpret that symbol.
Now depending on your laptop brand you could be a major asshole or a normal human being! (This one is a joke, kind of)
Without giving it much thought you place people in a 'category' that only exists in your mind.
There are a million reasons why people put stickers on laptops. And also a million why people don't.
I guess it's best to keep an open mind and don't think you know why people sticker.