> Surely it can't be that bad

Sure. If you don't mind very bad food. If you don't mind always being a little too cold. If you don't mind never having a moment to yourself. If you don't mind not being able to use the bathroom in private. If you don't mind never showering alone. If you don't never being alone. If you don't mind not seeing much sun.

I remember a large survey across the French prisons, about 10 years ago. The number one wish of prisoners was to be granted more showers during summer. Context: overcrowded prisons (prisons for light sentences have 142% rate, so 2 or 3 people in 9 m² are common), old buildings, very little time out of cells, 3 showers per week in the law but often 1/week in reality.

And getting into fights? Constantly sussing out everyone else's intentions? Not being able to trust anyone?

I don't have a lot of first hand experience, but fights don't happen as much as TV would have you believe.

I don't have much either, but basing it on behind the scenes TV shows based on jails. (I guess different to prisons - more comings and goings). Obviously TV will show you every fight, and maybe they don't happen often, but I bet there is a lot of posturing leading up to those fights. I remember what high school was like, probably not much different.

Your high school must have been tougher than mine

Playing dungeons and dragons all day to pass the time?

Martha went to a pretty nice minimum security Federal prison camp. "Club Fed" is a typical nickname for those.

Most US prisoners aren't in anything nice like that. Most state run prisons are dangerous shitholes. Maximum security Federal facilities are clean and safe, but rough in that you're by yourself in a tiny room 23 hours a day.

You could do an extended stay at a monastery... Probably a more pleasant experience.

Or at an Ashram somewhere. There's probably lot better alternatives to prison, just to get "away from it all." Plus, in places like these, you can do some good via service to others.

/a cousin of mine who has a fancy PhD from Stanford left his $$$ job in AI research back in the mid-00s to go and live in a couple of ashrams and monasteries in India, Sri Lanka and Thailand. Still lives there, haven't spoken to him in a decade.

As my bunk mate in prison yelled out one night out of the blue: “This fucking sucks! There ain’t one good goddamned thing about this place!”

I think it's a nightmare. Depravation of freedom alone must be unbearable. I'm not even sure all inmates have access to books.

You could be an undercover informer. Request a project from the FBI

You're romanticizing it. Even if you get great cellmates and the guards don't hate you there's intense boredom. You're much better off going on a camping trip or retreat to southeast Asia.

Just hole up in your local Motel 6. It’ll be cheaper and easier.

Being in a position where you can't do anything about your responsibilities is a big part of the fantasy. If you can do something but are just choosing not to; that doesn't provide emotional relief. You still get the anxiety, guilt, etc.

If you hole up in a Motel 6, then every minute you're there; you're choosing to not go to work, get a job, socialise, look after your kids, etc.

Not necessarily, one could skip paying for insurance, registration, inspections, license renewal, etc. for a few years and pay it all off with a month or so in jail.

Consider taking a Vipassana course instead.

^ really second this if you feel like getting locked up

My 10 day retreat even felt like prison from time to time...

I liked my 10 days, however, there were times I felt a bit like a prisoner. The same schedule each day. Nobody else around you exists. No eye contact. That being said I'd like to do it again.

Then you should just go and break some laws if you think it's that much bliss.

I can say from personal experience that it was not bliss in any way for me.

I'd be really curious how you feel about this after trying it.

Sounds like you’re very unhappy with your life. Maybe try fixing that instead of wishing to be in prison.

Yeah, I've definitely thought of this sort of thing before and imagined exactly what's described in the article. I never told anyone because I assumed I was an extreme outlier in that regard.

I have done so as well.

Something related regarding flight. I LOVE my yearly 14 hour flight because it means I have 14 hours of absolutely no obligations, be it work or simply answering a text.

> Surely it can't be that bad If Martha Stewart can do it

Just because she did it doesn't mean it was pleasant.

and then be forever banned from properly entering the workforce.

Hey so the bloody knife is on its way via ups. Just hold it for a while, dont worry its animal blood. Dont worry...