3k a month doesn't seem too bad when you are making 200k+, which is close to ~triple what you'd make in some rando mid sized city.
Working for the average SF startup though? Yeah, you'd be better off somewhere else.
$150k in Dallas is something like $265k in San Francisco. And I would think in SF your housing would be pitiful compared to the midwest at $3k/month mortgage.
Engineers at my company can make upwards of $300k in Dallas and that gives a standard of living thats comparable to making $1m in the valley which is probably pretty rare.
The ones at your rando tech startup are not.
The only thing the valley has going for it is the saturation of talent and people who hire talent. The bad, is that without it it's got nothing to really show for itself (save a few niche items). The good, is the lack of any other notable qualities is overshadowed by the overcompensation of the only ones it has.
All I'm saying is that Citadel is no Rennaisance. It's not LTCM or Medallion. Maybe it's like Boston, but sure it ain't as beneficial as the valley. If there were spoiler tags, I would tell you what I really think, but I don't want to be a Pats fan at a Steelers game.