I'm making a joke. :)

Thanks for the feedback. I made the list more outrageous so it's more obvious.

A lot of male comedians transition to family jokes after having children. This could be the catalyst for my stand up career!

From personal experience, you will soon transition to making dad jokes.

I do it daily. I'm hilarious (to no one but myself).

Ah, well it does now look a lot more like a joke :-)

I have bad news for you. Getting a newborn to sleep is child's play. Try getting two 5ish year olds off to school in the morning. It's basically impossible!

Every morning, our 3-year-old wakes up and says, "I don't want to go to school!" Then when mom goes to pick him up from school, she can't get him to leave. Good times.

> A lot of male comedians transition to family jokes after having children.

"dadmedians" Your kids will love hearing that about their dad, until they are older anyway and start to roll their eyes :)

Haha I mean professional comedians.

Also, I took pictures of baby peeing on himself to show to his future dates. Can't wait!

Before you do that, remember that they choose your retirement home.

My father deliberately didn't take those sort of photos for exactly this reason: he knew my mother would use them to humiliate my brother and I as we got older.

Even if you lose the pictures, DAD can still tell the story. It has the same effect ;)

That sounds pretty judge-y. ;-)

I imagine that faced with your first newborn, one might logically assume that there would be periods where the child slept leaving some time for other activities. In reality, the only "hobby" the new parent will want to engage under those conditions is getting some sleep.

In my experience newborns sleep a lot. For a breastfeeding mother it's pretty exhausting and requires a lot more sleep. And the nights can be pretty broken, not as broken as they will be over the next few years in general though!