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Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by khazhoux on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:05PM (#14395204)
We have an open floor plan, and it works like this:

* Desk area is for getting work done. Everyone agrees on this.

* We have "phone rooms" for small discussions. But we limit those usually to 1:1s or discussing office politics.

* Try to limit all discussions at the desk area to 5 people or less.

* If someone sighs loudly as they put on their headphones when you're having a discussion right behind them, then that is their signal to you to keep talking loudly, as their noise-canceling headphones will eliminate any trace of your conversation.

* You can usually carry a conversation at your desk at any volume, because other engineers will let you know if you're being too loud. Engineers tend to be extroverted and won't hesitate to let you know if you're bothering them.

* When someone first sits at their desk, it's polite to immediately engage them in a 30-minute conversation about their weekend or what they did last night. It eases their transition into work.

* A person working without headphones on, signifies that it's ok to tap them on the shoulder to ask them a question.

* A person working WITH headphones on, signifies that it's ok to tap them on the shoulder to ask them a question.

* If someone usually works off in quiet parts of the building, one should always remind them "you're never at your desk" with an accusatory tone.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by baursak on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:36PM (#14395459)
Forgot one more item:

CEO has the same desk as everybody else. But we also know to never book a certain conference room where he hangs out all day.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by flippyhead on Monday May 22, 2017 @03:46PM (#14396379)
HAHA
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by andrewingram on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:13PM (#14395267)
The progression of this list is beautiful.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by yeukhon on Monday May 22, 2017 @05:13PM (#14396984)
> * If someone usually works off in quiet parts of the building, one should always remind them "you're never at your desk" with an accusatory tone.

That's me. See the image below. Since I am almost always away from my desk, this is how I remind everyone / greet everyone.

http://imgur.com/a/4GzPl (redacted my cell #)

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by crowbahr on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:52PM (#14395593)
It's comments like this that make me thrilled I work from home.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by draw_down on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:26PM (#14395381)
Noise canceling headphones don't really work that way in my experience. They're good at canceling out droning background sounds to make the overall sound quieter, but they can't "predict" and cancel out less repetitive/droning sounds sounds like conversations and those godawful clacky keyboards some people insist on. In effect, noise canceling headphones make those sounds louder, relatively speaking, because they quiet other sounds.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by peapicker on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:39PM (#14395480)
Every single item on the list is said tongue-in-cheek...
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by georgemcbay on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:44PM (#14395953)
Yeah but the progression was brilliant. Started out from "I disagree with this, but ....okay...." and then got progressively more absurd. It wasn't until #5 that I realized it was clearly satire, prior to that I figured it was one of those rationalization posts that tech CEOs make to defend these practices as somehow useful or beneficial.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by draw_down on Monday May 22, 2017 @03:07PM (#14396100)
Ha! Well, you never can tell around these parts.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by sundvor on Tuesday May 23, 2017 @04:35AM (#14399777)
I've got a set of ATH-ANC9s and as a programmer I work in an extremely noisy environment (next to the phones); by themselves they do little to drop the noise, but add some music and magic happens.

EDIT: I experimented with the (almost universally approved of) ATH-M50Xs but found I had to use a much louder volume to cancel out the noise, which causing ringing, so using NC is pretty much saving my hearing. Not sure how I could work here without them.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by coffeeski on Monday May 22, 2017 @05:04PM (#14396934)
They work great for constant white noise. Not people talking, which is what I thought it would reduce.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by ionwake on Monday May 22, 2017 @04:08PM (#14396526)
First time I've been softly trolled on HN. Well played.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by sundvor on Tuesday May 23, 2017 @02:17AM (#14399186)
Yep, that was beautiful.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by darioush on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:25PM (#14395815)
"Engineers tend to be extroverted"

Where did you get your statistics on that one?

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by cortesoft on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:30PM (#14395846)
The Big Book of Sarcastic Stats
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by alexandrekop on Monday May 22, 2017 @04:17PM (#14396591)
Boom!
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by louthy on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:34PM (#14395876)
Reeaally?
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by Psilidae on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:46PM (#14395971)
For what it's worth, it did seem to be true at my last company. Engineers were outgoing and the artists were all the introverted quiet ones.

Edit: Then again, I was pulling a lot of engineering weight and was the one with headphones on all day...

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by bradlys on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:30PM (#14395849)
Sarcasm University.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by petters on Monday May 22, 2017 @03:42PM (#14396350)
The parent comment is of course sarcasm, but I wonder… Are there any studies that significantly concludes that engineers are more extrovert of more introvert than the general population?
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by watwut on Monday May 22, 2017 @04:11PM (#14396551)
Probably none. There is also a thing about stuff like this changing overtime, between engineering branches and between places depending on local culture.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by rajeshp1986 on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:24PM (#14395360)
All the items in this list are assumptions. I don't think it makes any sense to make them as rules.
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by piinbinary on Monday May 22, 2017 @01:31PM (#14395430)
Poe's Law?
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by askafriend on Tuesday May 23, 2017 @11:22AM (#14401992)
This is incredibly accurate and hilarious at the same time. Well done!
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by AlexandrB on Monday May 22, 2017 @05:12PM (#14396979)
This is hauntingly familiar. Well done!
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by dmitrygr on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:13PM (#14395736)
> A person working WITH headphones on, signifies that it's ok to tap them on the shoulder to ask them a question.

what? headphones = NOT NOW! if you need something, email

The whole point of headphones is to not be disturbed. How does that indicate to you that i want you to suddenly disturb me by touching me unexpectedly.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by javiramos on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:19PM (#14395775)
I think that the post has an element of /S
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by asavadatti on Monday May 22, 2017 @02:24PM (#14395809)
Whoosh!
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by clarkmoreno on Monday May 22, 2017 @04:25PM (#14396636)
got 'em!
Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by blablabla123 on Monday May 22, 2017 @03:55PM (#14396446)
If single offices were the optimum, why aren't we all working from home in single apartments anyway?

I think the more open the place, the better. We are social animals. If people choose solitude, it's likely for wrong reasons. (Not saying that there aren't ever reasons for that, (almost) everybody needs some privacy every now and then.)

But yeah, all people must also think of others, people who don't do that are likely making work a bad experience.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by Swizec on Monday May 22, 2017 @04:18PM (#14396600)
> If single offices were the optimum, why aren't we all working from home in single apartments anyway?

Can you imagine paying everyone in San Francisco enough salary so they can afford a 2nd bedroom? Don't be silly.

And yes, working from home without a home office with a door is not the same as having a private office. People have roommates and kids and spouses and all sorts of things that are even worse than coworkers when it comes to focus.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by rainbowmverse on Monday May 22, 2017 @04:16PM (#14396583)
>> We are social animals.

Social is a big spectrum. Keep to your end of it and there won't be any problem.

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by loco5niner on Tuesday May 23, 2017 @12:09PM (#14402408)
Not all of us are social animals, especially not 8 hours a day.

Also, often the problem I'm working on requires focus. For example, how much talking has occurred during ANY math test you have ever taken?

Re:CEOs Want Their Offices Back by blablabla123 on Sunday May 28, 2017 @10:03AM (#14434406)
One of the best tests I took in university, Theoretical Physics (E-Dynamics, QM, Thermo), was due to collaborative preparation. I learned together with another guy for 2-3 months. Interestingly he had a weaker background but we scored very well.

This test was oral by the way, but took about an hour (or more?), professor and protocol person. Sure there was writing but also a lot of talking.

I think constraining our industry on solitude is also a reason for the low diversity.