If you can, try to find someone else willing to play with you in person when you get stuck like this.

I’ve occasionally spent a few hours playing chess, or connect four, or table football, or some mindless card game with someone when one or both of us was going through a rough spot, and the combination of relatively automatic action plus occasional conversation with a human on the other side is very helpful.

There's something about needing to focus on a singular action that really helps you detach, I find. I don't think it's necessarily avoiding it - when you're detached and not thinking about it I think you give yourself space to reorient. Sometimes the world gets too noisy and you can't think straight.

That said, I once tried to relax by playing a chess game and I almost punched something I was so frustrated with how quiet and slow the game was ;)

If you're frustrated by the pace of the game, then I think you're not thinking deep enough.

Ha! Probably, honestly. I've never been too great at thinking way ahead.

It's something that takes tons and tons of practice. The more positions and tactics and openings you burn into your long term memory the less you need to keep in short term memory.

The best players in the world have put so many thousands of hours into the game that they can beat casual players trivially without thinking more than one move ahead. They owe this ability to having vast knowledge of fundamentals and theoretical lines in all the most common positions. This is how they are able to win simultaneous exhibitions against a large number of casual players.

it's not always about thinking many moves ahead with chess - often it's a case of looking for interesting patterns on the board that you can turn into an advantageous situation. Did the other player king-side castle? Look for ways to pick away at their pawns. King and queen/rook within 2 knight moves of each other? Could be an opportunity for a fork. You pick up more of these patterns over time, and you can start to scan for chains of these types of attack/defense.

This is so true

That's why you play 5 minute blitzes!! :)

I play 30 minutes games and still don't have enough time to think my moves though. It's amazing for me how people can play blitz or bullet games

Blitz is frowned upon at the upper levels by a lot of players for that reason. However, some such as #1 rated of all time "Magnus Carlsen", play a bit of blitz on the side.

Fishing in general but fly-fishing specifically is this for me. A midday walk to somewhere with a view I also find to be helpful for rebooting the brain.

i used to spend several hours every night playing blitz scrabble online. then i realised i wasn't even enjoying it that much, nor was it particularly improving my game; i just got into a zone and kept playing one game after another. i quit cold turkey and don't even miss it.

I'm sorry to hear about your going through troubles, but you're absolutely right about a good game of chess requiring such a high level of focus that it removes all distractions out out necessity to play well.

I have had the same thing in the past. I'm not even good at chess (compared to good players), and I wasn't getting better--I wasnt studying my games, I was just trying to escape and distract myself. Totally unhealthy in my case. In other words, it can be good or bad addiction.

Chess is my way to survive a 12 hours flight. Nothing else helps time fly the same way.

I guess you play on your phone. What app do you use? And what would be a good app for casual chess playing, learning, solving puzzles?

Actually I use the plane screen app when available to save the battery. But when not - "Chess Free" on Android. I am not a great player so I have no idea if the AI is good. It beats me pretty often :)

Lichess, hands down.

Definitely lichess

For those who like it hardcore, freechess.org is where it's at. They do it for the game, not for the money.

If you're not playing on Lichess, you're on the wrong site. I am USCF 2100 and have played on almost every chess server. Nothing comes close.

Nice rating man, good job. I know how hard that is.

For playing I like tChess (on iOS). It costs money but was worth it for me.

No puzzles though.

You should try sudoku as well. Instant gratification.

nurikabe is at least as good, imo.

I find it the same in gym. It's like active meditation for me.

People have different coping mechanisms to difficult circumstances. I found that video games helped me a lot after a really brutal break up; to kinda escape into a different world with fixed rules and rewards. Its weird because I don't generally play a lot in normal situations, but this circumstance somehow made the prospect of playing video games all day very attractive.

Shatranj Ke Khiladi, The Chess Players (film)