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Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by kanche on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @01:38AM (#9609519)
The location you share with your friend is dead accurate, not an area but the exact gps point in map. I did not realize I was sharing location when the feature was first announced -- told a friend I am just five minutes away from his house: he replied no you aren't -- found this feature and switched it off for good at that moment, it's intimidating.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by nodata on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @03:32AM (#9609877)
Or maybe not lie?
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by darklajid on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:25AM (#9610203)
That's unrelated.

Sharing _exact_ locations by default without realizing it is creepy/intimidating. The content of the message/the incident itself is just an anecdote that explains how the GP noticed this idiotic behavior of FB's chat.

Commenting on the anecdote derails the thread as far as I'm concerned. The subject is 'FB shares detailed location data and you might not know it', not 'one time, in band camp, I lied to a friend about my ETA'.

Ignoring that, there's no way to judge his communication with a friend. The only two people that can decide whether a lie like that is acceptable are the people involved. The friend might be offended and agree with you. Or laugh about it and ask for a beer in return, being totally fine with it. Expecting it? Who knows. And still irrelevant.

We can blame HN for being unable to hide subthreads, but for now the first 2 pages on my 25" monitor discuss if lies are acceptable or not and in what circumstances..

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by kanche on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @09:33AM (#9611177)
Thanks for seeing the focal point of my comment. Cheers!

In India, " bus(just) 5 minute mein(in) aaya(coming) " is a way of saying I am going to reach there soon and the other end knows this means either he is far away or hasn't even started yet. His reply was a banter.

Literal translation created this whole mess! This has nothing to do with ETA.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by outericky on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @11:12AM (#9611917)
At least on iOS, they have to ask to use location services. Granted, it doesn't say "so we can tell your contacts exactly where you are..." but for iOS users at least, the default should always be "No" when an app asks. Then decide later.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by bentcorner on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @12:02PM (#9612294)
I'm adding to the noise, but on Firefox there's a "add collapse subthreads button" add-on. I think there's one for Chrome too.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by pavel_lishin on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @12:10PM (#9612354)
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by hiamnew on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @03:46AM (#9609922)
Small lies like that are a huge part of everyday communications. No one should feel overly guilty about them and we need to be able to make them. They can be a kind of courtesy.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by dmak on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:05AM (#9609978)
While I do agree with being able to make small lies, but why would you tell someone whose waiting for you that you are 5 minutes away if you are clearly not. Maybe it's just me, but when someone says 5 minutes, I don't expect 10, 15, or 30. I expect 5 minutes. This is especially true in Asian cultures.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by personlurking on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:19AM (#9610024)
One of the worst offenders is Brazil. When living there, it was common to hear "I'm on my way" (to an agreed meeting point at a specific time) but that could mean they actually are on their way or that they've just got up from the couch and will go take a shower, choose what to wear, maybe have a bite to eat and then think about transportation.

Knowing this, the trick was either to not take specific times seriously or to give a fake meeting time (earlier than the actual one) so the person gets there on time.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by at-fates-hands on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:44PM (#9614199)
When I was in college, my Native American roommate introduced to "native time" which is the same as you related it while you were in Brazil.

If he had no set time to meet, he'd say he would be there around "native o' clock" which meant he would be there at the time +/- 30-45 minutes. If we agreed to a specific time, he would be there on time. It really helped me and I learned a lot about how Native American culture operated while we were roommates.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by tolt on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @06:42AM (#9610448)
As a norwegian living in Peru I used the same methods. I started to tell my peruvian friends that we were meeting at a resturant instead of a street corner. Different cultures have different understanding of time.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by paganel on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:43AM (#9610087)
It depends on the culture. When I hear "I'll be late 5 minutes" that usually means 10 or 15, "10 minutes late" means an actual 20 or 30 minutes, while everything higher than 20 minutes could mean an actual hour. I live in Romania.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by Fuxy on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:00AM (#9610138)
That's why i set myself a rule of whenever somebody says I will be there in 5 minutes I translate it to give me 5 minutes to show up if i don't forget about it.

And I hold everyone to it. If you don't show up in the amount of time you specify I'm gone.

I'm Romanian too I just hate wasting my time. My friends learned that really quickly.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by untog on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @03:28PM (#9613721)
What if they get stuck on the train? There are other, non-lazy reasons for being late.

If I'd taken a 30 minute train ride to come and see you, been delayed by 10 minutes, then find you're gone when I arrive I don't think our friendship would last very long.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by icebraining on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:50PM (#9614624)
That was valid before cellphones, nowadays I expect people to call/message if they're late. I suppose that reading Fuxy's post literally implies that no such exception is allowed, but I assume it's not meant to be an inviolable rule.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by untog on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @10:00PM (#9615670)
Don't move anywhere with an underground subway system then...
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by icebraining on Thursday May 28, 2015 @02:13AM (#9616320)
Our underground subway system here in Lisbon has cellphone coverage.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by gcr on Friday May 29, 2015 @07:42PM (#9628209)
Lucky! NYC's subway has complete radio silence.

But people in NYC know that the late party might not have cell phone coverage. Conventions adapt, life goes on.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by rokhayakebe on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @11:17AM (#9611951)
If you don't show up in the amount of time you specify I'm gone.

Respect.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by dmak on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:57AM (#9610131)
"I'll be late 5 minutes" does not have the same set of expectations for "I am just five minutes away" which is what kanche said.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by dalore on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @12:33PM (#9612522)
I'll be late 5 minutes means you're 10 minutes away (5 minutes to get there on time and 5 minutes of being late).
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by xux on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:15AM (#9610016)
The point is, it doesn't matter. It's none of your business why someone lies.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by dmak on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:47AM (#9610098)
Actually, the point is to manage expectations. Instead of saying I'll be there in 5 minutes, it would be better to say I am going to be X minutes late. There's lying to hide your business, but there's also lying and being inconsiderate of other people's time.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by Squarel on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:03AM (#9610147)
Or, it could be your best estimate, based on current traffic conditions or walking speed.

I always underestimate how long it will take,this does not mean I am lying, it means I am bad at guessing how long it takes me to walk/drive/sit in a train somewhere

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by lmm on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @07:08AM (#9610513)
In which case surely your friend getting an automatic, accurate version of your position from facebook would be better for both of you?
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by qubex on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @11:09AM (#9611883)
He might've been closer than he was making out to be. Yours is an unwarranted assumption.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by learnstats2 on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:32AM (#9610061)
When people make this lie, what they are really saying is: "Stop whatever you are doing and be ready and waiting for when I finally arrive".

The negative consequences fall on the person receiving the lie. It's not a courtesy. It has long-term consequences to your credibility and trustworthiness.

It is far better to tell the truth in this case.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by amerkhalid on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @11:23AM (#9612000)
Tardiness/lack of understanding of time is actually a huge problem in our culture . Most of us take it by default that other person would be at least an hour late. So we usually give an hour earlier than intended time when hosting a party or something. (We usually give actual time to our Western friends).

However, this creates problem for people who actually show up on the given time. Now you have guests in the house to entertain while at the same time make preparations for the party. It also embarrassing for guest to arrive on time only to find out that they are early.

Sometimes when we really want to convey be timeliness, we say something like 5PM American Time not Desi Time. But I really wish we don't have to do this.

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by copperx on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @12:51PM (#9612663)
Would "5PM sharp" do it?
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by amerkhalid on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @02:22PM (#9613317)
We use "5PM sharp" or its equivalent in Urdu or Hindi but usually it doesn't mean much.

When we want people to be on time and don't want to assume that they will be late, we usually say a little more or give a reason (like we made reservations etc).

Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by Squarel on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:04AM (#9610149)
The truth would be "I have no clue how long it will take me to get there"
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by learnstats2 on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:05AM (#9610151)
"I just passed landmark X and I'm on foot" is often more helpful.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by corobo on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @06:07AM (#9610350)
Or maybe "Here's my GPS coords and current speed". Facebook Messenger should add direction and speed information!
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by smokinn on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @06:53AM (#9610472)
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by spacemanmatt on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @12:02PM (#9612298)
Does it still suck raw eggs? I wanted that functionality but found Glympse too horrible to use at the time, a while back.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by simplemath on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @01:18PM (#9612862)
Works fine for me, with the caveat of using it inside vzn's message+
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by mc808 on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @06:33AM (#9610425)
It would also be helpful if they could notify the recipient when my digestive system is below 10% capacity, so they would know that I'm likely to stop for a bite to eat (and maybe suggest a good restaurant nearby if Facebook hasn't done so already).
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by icebraining on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @03:53AM (#9609943)
On that note, I recommend Mark Twain's On The Decay Of The Art Of Lying: http://www.gutenberg.org/cache/epub/2572/pg2572.html
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by rdl on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:55AM (#9610122)
There are also cases where lying to say something is longer than the direct distance is more accurate. i.e. if I know I'm going to stop for gas/etc., even if I'm "5 minutes away" by distance, I might say I'm 10 minutes away.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by nodata on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @04:11AM (#9610005)
What's the benefit (to both parties) for the example he gave?
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by rainingtomorrow on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @05:45AM (#9610278)
That's a good example of how faulty "if you don't have anything to hide, you have nothing to worry about" argument is.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by d0vs on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @06:23AM (#9610396)
He has something to hide
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by josefresco on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @07:26AM (#9610575)
Everyone, has something to hide.
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by dspillett on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @12:37PM (#9612552)
It may not have been a lie. It could simply have been a bad estimate, maybe he guessed he was about five minutes away but didn't know the area too well and was more then ten minutes away?
Re:Stalking Your Friends with Facebook Messenger by LLWM on Wednesday May 27, 2015 @03:11PM (#9613620)
Then it's a good thing Facebook came through with the more accurate information.