Stuff makes me happy. Moving from a tiny apartment with a small everything to a spacious house made me much happier. It's comfortable. I now have a wonderful kitchen to cook, which I enjoy doing, that I just couldn't do as well before. I have a view out my large bay windows. It's great.
Driving a nice car is awesome, especially if you commute longer distances or like road trips. I enjoy a comfortable luxury sedan with power.
I'm much happier with nice things. Society isn't telling me I like my large flat screen tv. I am because it looks stunning on my wall.
I agree with what others say here about debt though. Don't go into debt to buy yourself a bunch of crap you don't need.
I think this gets to the heart of form vs. function. Don't buy things because they look cool on your wall, or in your driveway, or in your kitchen. Buy things that make it enjoyable to watch movies, comfortable to drive on long trips, and enjoyable to cook with.
Favor function over form.
On average, happiness peaks at age 20, declines until age 50, and then starts to inch up again ( http://www.economist.com/node/17722567 ).
Besides, why does it even matter if we enjoy something nice because society tells us it should make us happier? Yes, when I go out I DO want society to notice me and reward me. That's the reality of life- people have more respect for those who present themselves well. If the respect of others is something we value, then it makes sense to do what we can to gain that respect. Pretending that you're somehow above the rules of society is both naive and counterproductive. The bottom line is that if it makes us happier or more successful then it was a good investment.
reward you for what exactly?
I'm fine with people wanting to dress nicely as long as they realize it's total bullshit that people are judged by their clothes, but want to take advantage of it anyway. It's just human hacking.
I do feel a bit bad when dressing nicely, because I worry that I am contributing to the continuation of the practice of judging people by their clothing.
Maybe you "hack" HR policies that reinforce the use of proper grammar by refining your resume. Or hold the door open for somebody who is behind you when you'd rather just be on your way. Society is full of norms and social cues, and I don't think it's deception to control your behavior to align yourself with them. To not do so out of some notion that we should combat human instinct is rather naive.
I think Benjamin Franklin put it best: "Eat to please thyself, but dress to please others."
How, exactly, is it naive to try to overcome illogical biases and ways of being manipulated?
Just because we have evolved heuristics for something doesn't mean those heuristics aren't stupid and irrelevant in some contexts.
If you REALLY enjoy it, that's great. But most of the research on the relationship between stuff/trappings and happiness finds that there isn't really any correlation. You're trained by evolution, society, and marketers to want these things, but (unless you're anomalous), they don't impact your happiness.
Meanwhile, 20% of households spend more than they make, unemployed millennials spend ~$800/month on discretionary spending, and half of american households save no money at all.
If presenting yourself well means driving a luxury car, or having an expensive home, then no, I don't respect these people more than others. There are no such 'rules of society' except for materialistic people.
Inverse snobbery is a very powerful thing too ;) But I'm probably an outlier
Now your decisions in life are dependent on making sure you still have those comforts that make you happy. You will miss out on adventures because you are scared that you won't have a comfy kitchen. What you own owns you too.
You get a TV that fits your house. But you want a bigger house. Then, the TV seems too small, the house seems bare, and your car is not nice enough for the neighbhorhood. So you get a bigger TV and fancier car.
Now, you have too much stuff in your house, it is too small again! So, you get a bigger house...
Typical hours worked in a year: 2000
52 weeks - 2 weeks vacation/sick/holiday (most have more) * 40 =2000 hrs
2000 / (365*24)=.228
Seems fair.
2400 hours worked + 260 hours commuting (US avg. is 25.5min - probably average higher in startup cities?) Let's say 17 waking hours (even though people who get 7 hours of sleep are proven to be less effective on a lot of fronts, it's certainly plenty common).
(edit: average hours worked/week in US for salaried workers is 46: http://www.prdaily.com/Main/Articles/Most_employed_Americans...)
2660 / 365*17 = 43%
Most average people are expected to work 2080 or 2087 hours a year. Seems a little disingenuous to bump it all the way to 2400 - if you're working over 45 hours a week on average you're over-working, which is far worse for your health.
Even still, using the 17 hour mark and 2087 hours it's 33.6%.
I don't know that I would take their numbers as gospel but to be fair in the tech industry it's probably more accurate when I think of it.
That's the deal. My work/bosses are happy with it. My co-workers seem to begrudge that they're freely giving up extra time and I'm not. I keep suggesting they stop doing that...
How about food? I would love to invest zero time into food, but I have to eat.
Have you ever traveled on a shoestring in S/E Asia, Africa or South-America? I bet you're going to be a lot happier with smaller versions of your "nice things".
My second bed is part second-hand, part Ikea. My first bed was ten times as expensive. However, after some traveling I consider my second bed to be luxurious.
The definition of irony. Happiness will exist regardless of circumstances. No one can take it away from you. Maybe you meant, "stuff brings me pleasure"?
That about sums it up. The drive to always want more is just how humans are. If it wasn't, the human condition would never improve. However, you need to recognize it for what it is and don't let it control your own happiness.
The older I get the more I realize that doing what I want to do now is much more rewarding that doing what I think will make me happy years from now.
From a christian perspective, the natural discontent stems from the fallen nature of man. You're worldly accomplishments will never be able to satisfy that discontentment, as the two areas are unrelated.
Nobody is saying that evolution is selecting for some nebulous sense of "improvement." Reproductive success leads to traits being passed on to successive generations, and general survival is merely one precondition to reproduction. The human impulse to jockey for status is a reproductive strategy.
I've chose startup grind instead of super rich Facebook jobs 3 years ago and am still living like a student and see no need to own a lot of things. Am I that "special", to me it seems completely logical to sacrifice short term rewards to be in for the long run, delayed gratification and everything.
Once I've made it, I don't see either, why I would burn myself just to have e.g. $20M instead of $10M. wtf?
When discussing evolution and species, it's best to avoid the past tense. Evolution never ends, and nature is shaping us as we speak. 200,000 years ago, we wouldn't have recognized our forebears, and 200,000 years from now, we won't recognize our descendants.
Zero debt + $ = great freedom.
The edge of modern Western society (those not part of the main rat race) is a place where you can truly be free and happy, but you'll be seen as fringe.
Never go into debt. Eat beans and rice. Work summer jobs as a river boat guide. Write poems. Watch the stars. Help others find peace.
Just be true to yourself and don't let modern society set expectations or guide your life.
The main reason why businesses don't grow is regularly cited as the founder/owner refusing to give up control and micromanaging. One person can only micromanage so much.
This is bad advice. Sure, don't go into debt that you can't properly service, but I've made some good money that started out as debt (large investments, etc).
Now he just potters around his farm. Grows all his own vegetables and fruit, raises chickens and cows and is getting "richer" by not spending all his interest. So him and his wife get to spend all their free time with their kids, which is what they wanted.
The reason most people will never become rich is simply because they increase their expenses the more they make.
Words of wisdom right there.
I think there is an underlying difficulty there. There's usually at least a few of your friends who also are financially well off and growing. Or perhaps your circle starts to include more well off people as you become wealthier. There is an endless social competitive pressure to be at or near the top of your peers, and the metric for measuring that is how much you own and spend. Leaving society to go on a farm, however awesome and healthy that may be, is breaking the vicious cycle that you may have been in for much of your life. And that is incredibly difficult.
This guy retired on $800k raising a family of 3 with $25k/year of passive income: http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/01/13/the-shockingly-sim...
Specifically, it is generally assumed that a diversified investment portfolio will earn ~4% after inflation on average, and by spending 4% of your portfolio balance at any time you are reasonably safe in the assumption that your money will not run out. At 3% it's all but assured that your money will not run out. These are conservative assumptions and take into account the fact that in any given year your investment performance could be significantly less than 4%
If I'd opened a bank account last time I visited India, converted sterling to rupees, to saved in an Indian bank account at 12%, I'd end up less pounds than I started with.
Putting money in consumer banks in India really only makes sense if you live there.
Turned out those savers were the suckers needed by those banks, in an attempt to remain solvent.
This financial independence normally is temporary and normally doesn't last long. Humans crave for change, living on a pottery farm is really nice for the first 1-2 years, however, for the rest of your life? Humans are not built for that.
America's middle-class is increasingly eroded and the nation as a whole split into those with fuck-you money and those without.
Not having money is not a good long-term strategy as we slide into well-branded feudalism.
[1] http://time.com/98152/americas-savings-city/ [2] http://www.nytimes.com/books/first/s/schor-overspent.html [3] http://www.aei-ideas.org/2014/02/todays-new-homes-are-1000-s...
Saving for saving's sake is not enough--I think it helps to divide it into "investing money so that it can 'grow' into more money" and "having enough cash in reserve to provide accounting liquidity in an emergency".
Simply hoarding gems in a mattress, for example, would not be winning strategy.
This is like arguing that it's pointless to breathe because we'll all end up dead anyway. Even in the face of governmental mischief and deliberate inflation, saving or investing money may still represent the best of competing choices.
I emphasize I'm not talking about a bank savings account -- that's really a losing proposition.
Just a thought.
[1] http://www.amazon.com/dp/145360121X/?tag=oildepletiove-20
Fact: I've met these rich/free people and they are largely working their asses off to get more rich (and presumably more free?). The ones who make it (largely) LOVE THE GAME. The few who get rich somehow but don't actually love the game of getting rich are listlessly complaining about being unhappy.
You don't love the game, it seems. The way to be happy/satisfied is to find the game that you love or learn to love the game you're playing. The latter is often what to focus on-- there people with much less interesting jobs that are satisfied with them. Whatever job you have, figure out how to be freakin' awesome at it and opportunities fall into your lap- trust me. Or be the guy who gets by, can't be happy, is always looking out the window.
All that said, don't settle for a shitty job. Get one where you're surrounded by people who impress you in an industry/market that has potential. That's where you'll find your next co-founder.
If you've got great ideas, start side projects. They turn into businesses all the time.
Reduce your burn rate ruthlessly and save $. Seriously, your car/house/clothes are too nice, and you have them because society makes you feel less successful if you don't. Happiness and stuff have virtually no correlation. Get to the point where you're downright smug about your burn rate. Smirk at people who drive BMWs.
Remember that a million years of evolution has made humanity naturally discontent-- do you think happiness/contentedness is a survival trait? Add to that the external pressure of peers who make it big, do "great things", and the river of marketing telling you that you need fancier watches, shinier cars, the newest iPhone. Being happy/content takes smarts and discipline that most people simply can't manage. Be one of the ones who can.