'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth

Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by TiredOfLife on Thursday October 08, 2026 @05:40AM (#50003746)

But what if I already live somewhere cold, avoid sunlight and am never in a hurry?

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Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by lifestyleguru on Thursday October 08, 2026 @05:55AM (#50003855)

If you are a human this will make you a depressed alcoholic.

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Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by TiredOfLife on Thursday October 08, 2026 @08:22AM (#50004954)

I also don't drink

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Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by _zoltan_ on Thursday October 08, 2026 @08:57AM (#50005291)

Cold, no sun AND no alcohol? Man that must suck. :)

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Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by mikestew on Thursday October 08, 2026 @02:11PM (#50009630)

Welcome to Deadhorse, Alaska:

https://partyshopmaine.com/alaska/is-alcohol-illegal-in-dead...

(And apologies for the slop, that was the first reasonable link I found.)

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Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by dyauspitr on Thursday October 08, 2026 @11:58AM (#50007456)

Then short of living in a war ravaged country, or somewhere that is poverty stricken with malnutrition, you are living one of the least desirable forms of human life. For your sake, I hope you’re at least watching good TV, playing some nice video games, are working on an interesting problem and have someone to have sex with.

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Re:'Jonathan' Is the Oldest Land Animal on Earth by noumenon1111 on Thursday October 08, 2026 @05:13PM (#50012385)

I think the clue is in bro's name: https://news.ycombinator.com/user?id=TiredOfLife

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