Don’t worry. They don’t know either.
It means give them more money.
Semi-seriously I’m wondering though: when did corporate rhetoric shift from “creating value” - which almost makes rapacious capitalism sound benign - to shamelessly “capturing” that value? It’s as if they want to give the Marxists a reason to think they were right all along.
This reminds me of this video. This Is How Companies REALLY Come Up With 'Organisational Values': https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f1Xn0EUrQg0
Love the ending! "They don't reflect reality! If they reflected reality then the values of a company like Boeing would be Not. Quite. Enough. Bolts. But that's not their values, that's not their values. Their values are - and I swear I'm not making this up - their actual values are Safety, Quality, Integrity, Transparency. Well James In fairness, their planes are very transparent. They do deliver on transparency, that is true."
Yeah, that's some seriously ultra-processed corporate-speak mumbo-jumbo.
I upvoted the OP only because of your comment.
Many others on HN will, like me, scoff at the OP but appreciate your comment.
"And here's a rendering of the building where we will process worthless humans into valuable silicon resources!"
It's my favorite thing to read statements like this that somehow provide negative information.
I was pulled into a meeting once at a startup years ago where they were asking some of the engineers to review the company's new core values and they were all like this. We nodded along, because who wants to tell the HR director that these aren't human (and generally speaking, don't matter). On the bright side, I got to poke fun at our core values of "Having fun" that had a bunch of zany and goofy emoji faces suffixed onto it.
That's a bit cruel. I just won the party pack, but lost all desire to enjoy anything in the process.
Its not that someone writes that sort of stuff, its that it people read and think "yeah! give me some of that!" that makes me worry for humanity.
It seems to be describing a series of high-end sales calls, in the form of a management consulting engagement, with the question of, "How can I send IBM more business, and can you help me make slide decks to pitch this idea internally?"
That's not necessarily bad. You could do a lot worse on vendors or consultants.
(And what's the saying? "Nobody ever got fired for hitching their wagon to an IBM sales team.")
They get in their car, fasten their seatbelt, and back out of their storage bay and onto the road network. They tune their radio to a morning zoo being visited by a reeling ninth caller who didn’t win the free party pack.
Then they depart the trunk line and park in a fragmented matrix of similarly unique cars, de-safety their belt, rummage the console for an identity token, and head into their own morning zoo, paned wall to wall with one-way glass, seemingly installed backwards.
The humans shed the remaining vestiges of their real human mornings and dutifully touch base on how to liven up their portable document that contentfully explores, ”how can technology further deliver value to our audience,” perhaps using hypertext, while drinking more coffee.
If you haven’t clicked “client value” at the top-right, I strongly encourage doing so. Ten points and a free party pack if you can read the entire thing with a straight face.