Most homes of people who are reasonably well-off - including most people on HN - go through three distinct stages.

The first stage is right after you spend an insane amount of money to buy the property. At that point, you want to validate the investment, so you spend money on making it look nice, but you're probably oblivious to many realities of homeownership. So yeah, this is when people splurge on matched kitchenware, beautiful cutting boards, "smart" kitchen appliances, sleek-looking but impractical veneer / plastic / glass furniture, etc.

The second stage is when you get kids or pets, and you start losing the battle. You eventually throw in the towel, accepting that there are going to be dings on the walls and on stainless steel appliances, holes in window screens, and veneer peeling off after the fifth juice spill accident.

The third stage is when the kids move out and you can actually make the space look nice. Except now, you know that there's some wisdom to old-fashioned solid wood furniture, that cutting boards are for cutting, and so on. So your home acquires more of an "old people" vibe.

Ha! Stainless steel appliances. The new (Bosch) dishwasher gets nasty crap spilled down the front. No problem, it's stainless steel so get out the scrubby sponge. Ha. The stainless steel has a relatively delicate clearcoat on top of it which is now messed up. Stainless steel for show only, not for actual utility.

Isn't the problem that you got out the scrubby sponge?

According to the manual (which I didn't read) of course it is. But something delicate masquerading as brushed stainless steel...

Isn't it the opposite? Stainless steal is for utility, not show. Hence why it's used in all professional kitchens I've worked.

I have 3 stages of flatware right now:

1. Relatively nice stuff I bought for myself when I moved into my apartment

2. Cheap stuff I bought after a friend used a yellow-green scrub sponge and scratched up all my nice stuff

3. Nice stuff I bought for myself after the divorce (Except that it's poorly designed, which makes me wish I'd bought something a little more standard. They all have round handles, which means the utensils try to spin in your hands.)

I can in no way shape or form stand "impostor utensils." I throw them away ruthlessly (we sometimes acquire them when guests bring over food or by accident from vacations). When we run low I throw away the whole lot and replace it. Same with plates, glasses, or socks. Seriously, who has time to match up socks? Just buy 40 identical pairs and throw away the rest.

This is exactly what I do with socks, and then I replace the whole set.

But then it runs into (un)surprising problem: most brands don’t maintain their designs, so if you find something you like, it’s not going to be available when it’s time to replace entire set couple years later.

In the end I standardized on Blacksocks, which seem to have same design forever, although they are more expensive than I would like.

You could buy a restaurant quality set of vitrified plates. They survive being dropped. They also weigh a ton.

I got mine second hand

If you buy IKEA then you can’t. But if you buy from independent specialists then you’ll often find their ranges will be available for decades.

But then you’re paying a minimum £120 for a set of cutlery rather than £12.

However the way I look at it is that good cutlery lasts a lifetime.

But they don’t - they get lost. Our original sets are diminished. So I see it as expenditure, and buy inexpensive steel quality sets not worrying about them being matched. It’s insane to pay 120 pounds for a set. Are these items to be used or to worry about them?

Why would you worry about a solid lump of metal?

I’m also a little confused how lose so much cutlery. I have a family too and I’ve never lost any. But Maybe it’s a bigger problem with teenagers and thus my kids are still a couple of years too young?

- "good cutlery lasts a lifetime"

I mean, modern ones are just solid chunks of Type 304 stainless steel; unless you are a family of Ridley Scott xenomorphs I can't imagine why they wouldn't.

I hosted a party one time at an Airbnb I was staying at. A friend invited his buddy who said he’d come and prepare something. His buddy brought a can that needed opening and when he found a can opener lacking, he took the rental provided chef’s knife and stabbed it into the can to cut through the top.

The knife did survive, but I spent a good amount of time bending the tip back to be mostly straight. I’m sure you could destroy a knife by repeating such a practice.

This is why every travel kit should include a Victorinox with a can opener. This savagery must be avoided.

It’s Airbnb, you are going to be charged a bunch of nickel-and-dime fees anyway. Might as well enjoy the expendable nature of everything, I guess.

That’s my point.

Cheap cutlery can often be thin or made from cheaper steal that is more prone to rust.

Though granted you can also buy good quality cheaper cutlery too (just last week I picked up a set of 16 pieces for £16. Bargain)

Maybe restaurant supply stores? Likely more durable than consumer stuff, and the manufacturer is likely to maintain a product line for years. Restaurants are not going to be ok with mismatched pieces.

You can often find replacements for whatever has broken via the aptly named Replacements, Ltd:

https://www.replacements.com/

The way to avoid this is to do a tiny bit of research and find a product line that is unlikely to change over time. Fiestaware for example is basically unchanged in look and feel and inexpensive so you can just buy their stuff and replace your broken plates without introducing a mismatched item.

Airstream is an amazing example of this in a premium product: their trailers get new features but built around existing designs. Parts from different decades just fit together. I wish cars worked like this.

Furniture is tougher as both styles change and there isn’t a lot of manufacturers that make the same thing over and over.

My personal favorite: socks. I standardized on exactly one style of socks that work for me for everything from fitness to everyday wear. I have two dozen of them, replace the oldest with a new six pack every year. I spend no time matching socks. Yes I have one pair of dress socks for when I wear a tux + two pairs of thick wool socks for when I am doing winter things. Outside of that it’s the same Under Armor Resistors every day.

Fiestaware from Macy’s is exactly what I’m referring to in the original post - they changed the design slightly on all items few years ago and now plates don’t match! We still use them, of course, but it’s funny that this was the core proposition why we used this brand and they compromised it.

Ah that’s disappointing. The other way to go: get into pottery and make it all yourself!

If you start with lots of spares, it works for a pretty good amount of time.

Let's say your family has 5 full time members and is timely at doing dishes. 15 sets of flatware would probably be plenty, but sometimes you have extra guests, so start with 20-25.

If you lose or break items and get down to 15, and the set is no longer available, get rid of what you have and get a new set of 20-25.

Don't care also works fine.