It’s not that I have nothing else to do. It’s that the dopamine hit of fixing a thing that affects my team often outweighs any other choice.

Working out frequently, getting a family, getting a side project off the ramp, and reducing to part-time have all helped me with my addiction to feeling valuable and important when nothing else is gained than becoming known for fixing stuff in weekends free of charge.

I will help you. The truth is that you are an asset. Even if they make you feel important, you are as important as a good chair. They will replace you without thinking twice if they want.

> It’s not that I have nothing else to do. It’s that the dopamine hit of fixing a thing that affects my team often outweighs any other choice.

I know first hand about the "fixer" mindset that a lot of engineering-minded men have.

Do yourself a favor and fix things mostly for your family/friends, and your company a distant third. Every single person will be better off in this scenario. It's a hard learned sometimes counter-intuitive lesson, but it must be learned.

My hack was to start my own product, that way (at least for two hours a day) I get to play messiah for 100% of my own equity

Own product is great, although it becomes difficult to justify bikeshedding variable names and a possible 3rd Rust rewrite when you should be grinding out more hours on marketing and sales.

Or writing documentation for your product.

Did you make money?

I'm there. Everyone else is patting me on the back.

I wish I would have been a video game hedonist blissfully unaware of the world.

Side note: You have less friends as Messiah but more power. I am extremely social, but its really obvious that I'm a 1%er and even 10%ers can't handle that. We have different hobbies. I shape the world/no hobbies, they have more traditional hobbies like fixing and driving fast cars. Basically my friends are other business owners or high status people and we complain about labor quality, margins, and not having time.

Yeah, doing alright - might end up employing me eventually.

This is not a great take. I have plenty of things to do outside of work and I will still do what's "right" in my mind, especially if there's enough evidence that it will make my and other people's life easier in the long run.

There are plenty of people like that in a company but they normally don't cluster together, so it feels like "nobody else cares". That's false. At times that's how exactly how products, or even entire companies, are saved. Because a bunch of individuals who think like that get together and work hard to accomplish something.

Whether that effort is recognized or not depends on the company. If it's not then, I agree, it would be irrational to keep pushing. But you can't know until you try.

(Edit: to be clear, I'm not advocating prioritizing work over anything else, that really depends on you, but there's a fine line between "working hard" and being obsessed. The latter will more often than not result in a net negative in most cases. The same level of effort and/or prioritization should be applied to all areas of life)

I come from a country where work culture has gotten to the point where no one cares. It's a self-fullfilling prophecy of delays, lies, and lower compensation.

The correct approach is to be flexible, recognise that your family is worth more than the company, but still give a shit about your work and getting it done.

I heartily agree, but it's poor form when the threshold for Messiah is so low.

I think this is due to my environment. That 'Insecure Overacheiver' idea resonated with me.

Had 1-2 childhood events that shaped you, and now you are afraid to do anything except 'be high value'.

I'm aware of it, I'm even aware of philosophies like Absurdism, good luck changing me. Its either in my DNA or faux-PTSD.