I think you are conflating succumbing to a vice (eg porn) and orienting your life around an identity (eg poly)

Interestingly, Catholicism sees the former (doing the bad thing but agreeing that it is bad and that you should stop) as pretty normal, but the latter (deciding the thing is okay) as heresy, the sort of thing that could get you the bell, book, and candle.

Yes. This is the Christian concept of faith and grace.

"For by grace you have been saved through faith."

Because of Christ's grace, your belief is sufficient even if your acts are not.

I don't understand what you're saying.

Don't you find it weird that doing the bad thing but agreeing that it is bad is... okay, while deciding the thing is okay is... heresy?

[delayed]

It seems logical. Analogy: I want to be healthy but I am imperfect so I will end up over eating or skipping my workout. Versus: I embrace being unhealthy and fat as part of my identity.

In one, you try to be better but aren't always successful. In the other, you've embraced the bad.

beliefs control acts.

otherwise you're <insert name of belief>, in name only.

mercy and justice are apprioriate outcomes for breaking the rules, not just 'yolo whatever i believe so everything is permitted'.

That's also true.

There what someone believes, and what someone says they believe.

People are (ought to be) in state of continual improvement.

To complicate things, there's then "being a hypocrite as a preliminary stage of changing oneself". If I know a behaviour is condemned by my principles/faith and yet I still do it, then so long I am working towards change, I'm still resisting that thing, it's... well, not all good, for sure, but it's something. And you can work with that.

> I think poly relationships are very common.

There is a difference between what things are common weaknesses and what things are social ideals. Just because sloth is not unusual, doesn't make it culturally acceptable.

> looking at porn or thinking sexual thoughts about anyone else is engaging in a poly relationship.

It is a poly relationship in your heart, which a step in the direction of an actual poly relationship.

Lust/adultry, anger/assault, envy/theft, etc.

"For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he."

That seems overly reductionist and devalues the entire concept of polyamory. Thoughts and actions are not the same and can not be treated as the same. Your viewpoint veers into thoughtcrime territory.

Well sure. Christianity invented thoughtcrime. Before Christianity, the essence of religion was observing the appropriate rituals at the appropriate times, with Christianity it became what you truly believe in your heart of hearts.

By that standard, everyone is a sinner.

Well you don't have to use that passage to know that's exactly what the Bible teaches--"For all have sinned..." Rom 3:23.

Or, later in the same letter, Paul speaks about his own struggles:

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.” ‭‭Rom‬ ‭7‬:‭18‬-‭19‬

Not a single Christian would disagree with that statement.

That's the point, it's the entrance to their sales funnel. Convince people that they're dirty and broken, then sell them the cure.

I see where you're coming from, but it's more like trying to sell people a vaccine before they die from a preventable disease (eternal death). It's hard to argue that people at risk should be made aware of the cure's existence.