Ask HN: What is the effective way to develop the sense of humour?
Context: My sense of humour is pretty low. I usually take everything seriously, either at work or in my inner circle.
Is there any recommendation to develop this? Maybe books, training, and etc. Thank you.
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Puns go back thousands of years across all languages and cultures. Recognise them, try some on for size.
Use sarcasm judiciously. It's easy to be misunderstood. Sarcastic fake racism is often mistaken for real racism when casually overheard.
There's a thin line between roasting, and bullying. If you're worried your on the receiving end, that has to be made plain.
Deadpan can be very funny.
That's likely true, but some languages use them way more than others. For example my native (slavic) tongue avoids puns almost completely, instead relying on other forms of humour. Your post actually prompted me to find a serious research about this topic, but unfortunately I couldn't find any so I have to rely on anecdotal evidence. If anyone knows any comparative study of joke types (especially puns) between cultures, I'm very interested.
I too would love to see this. I can declare positively French is pun-rich, my parents had a 1940s dictionary of argot, which was rich, inventive and almost like cockney rhyming slang.
1. I would start by trying to not take things seriously.
How would you actually achieve this? Firstly, you could start by taking sometime to reflect on why you take things so seriously. Then maybe when you have thought about those things, you could then also ask yourself questions like, “Is there other perspectives I could have taken?”, “what would it be like to take other perspectives?”, and “what might the consequences be like?” It doesn’t take a great deal of effort, it’s just a little bit of self-reflection, and maybe meta-cognition which may allow you to see other ways of perceiving your experiences in a less serious manner. However, it is appropriate in some circumstances to be serious, so at least in that regard, you have an advantage.
2. Familiarise yourself with the art of sarcasm. I myself am sometimes sarcastic to myself, as an intentional act in order to not take myself too seriously. Additionally though, I personally use sarcasm to lighten difficult situations. I am careful however not to use sarcasm in a nasty way towards other people - which is always a risk because of the very nature of sarcasm - hence why I refer to it as an art. Needless to say, sarcasm is great. Additionally, when using sarcasm, you can risk accidentally offending people, for this reason, I caution that if you do choose to use sarcasm, you may at some point be required to admit you mis-read a situation and you will need to apologise. Some people find it difficult to admit their wrong doing and apologise - perhaps because they take themselves too seriously. If you’re one of those people who can’t do that, then probably avoid sarcasm.
3. Failing the other two methods I have suggested, there is always dad jokes. The benefit of dad jokes is that there is practically an endless supply of them on the internet and even though they’re slightly corny, they’re still fun. They’re even better if they are delivered by a middle-aged man with a dad-bod with middle childhood aged children, however the truth of the matter is that anyone can tell a dad joke and amuse others.
Good luck on your journey to being less serious :)
I want to be a person that doesn't take everything seriously in all situations. It depends on the context, let's say, I can respond to the joke my friend are making or I throw a joke to relax the nerves.
Second, it would be helpful to understand where seriousness comes from. Taking everything seriously is an attempt to ward off the fear of the loss of control, the fear of anything that could lead to failure or rejection and the accompanying feelings. Seriousness is the opposite of spontaneity and play. By working on this, you can make a step toward developing a sense of humour.
Hope it helps.
Once I was on a specialized two person team in Afghanistan. They needed to swap out my teammate the incoming guy had spent almost his entire life on Guam. He had no concept of sarcasm at all. Before coming in country to join me the unit provided him a sensitivity brief because I was known to be exceedingly sarcastic and to not be offended by it. He adapted to my conversational style super fast and I was actually exceedingly sarcastic. He found it hilarious all the time.
Any attempt at humor can be offensive. Know your audience. It does not matter what you intend, but how they perceive it. Just relax and be a team player.
I also worked with a guy who memorized all the lame dad jokes he could find and many were really funny.
I'm a programmer, not a psychologist, so I don't know what exactly gives one a sense of humour, but it can't be just a learned skill acquired by watching others.
I wonder if going to a live comedy club helps develop a sense of humor?
I've been known as a pretty funny guy, but also very eccentric--for the most part, almost nothing I have found funny and that has in turn informed my sense of humor has been stuff most people find funny. I don't watch popular comedy movies or sit coms, etc. Historically, the stuff I have found funniest has mostly been weird niche stuff on YouTube.
https://www.goodreads.com/en/book/show/51721
Humor is builtin into intelligent beings.
The cardinal rule of improv is "Yes, And": If your partner exclaims "Oh no, our house is burning!", then henceforth your house is burning. You might respond: "Fluffy!" Whether Fluffy is a cat, a dog, or something else then depends on how your partner reacts.
One thing that struck me is that improv is not about trying to be funny, it's about building a connection with the other actors on stage, and about welcoming the unexpected and rolling with it. I think the same could be said for most humor in general.