Sounds like you really like your family

Sounds like you haven't had children. It's pretty universal. It's incredibly draining literally every minute that they're awake. You have no time nor mental power left at the end of the day. For years.

I think it's very indivildual. My daughter is 9 months old now and only first 1-2 months were pretty draining. But then you just get used to it. Note that I'm working from home (for 4 years now). So it's not like I was rushing to an office asap every day.

This may be different if you have more that one kid or a different family situation of course.

Might things change when she starts walking?

Exactly my thought. A well-sleeping kid who stays where you put them is not that much work for now. But when they start being mobile and explore the world on their own, you will need to keep an eye on them forever.

Well, fortunatelly or not: things always change. Not to mention we are planning more kids.

But still: everything is individual.

My first was daughter was very quiet and I thought I somehow had got something right on first try. The next four of my kids has not been even though they share both parents.

I think I should be happy for this: If they'd all been as harmonic as my first one I could easily ended up giving well meant parenting advice telling others "just do as I did, be kind and careful and encouraging and it will sort itself out".

No judgement here - I’m a parent who continues to make mistakes.

But it doesn’t matter if you’re building software or raising a family - it doesn’t have to be draining. In fact your best work will never show up when it is.

We have two kids under 4, and across our friends one thing that continues to amaze me is how different children are, and therefore the parenthood experience.

One of my girls is the sweetest, calmest, peaceful bundle of hugs. The other is a low-sleep, hyper energetic, demanding chatterbox. She is relentless from 5am and raising her is draining.

I don’t mean “resentful” - we chose this, and to not outsource them to childcare. But some kids are absolutely more work: if your typical day is 12-15 hours of sales, negotiating, customer service, and all-team workshops, if you get little sleep and no weekends or half-days, year after year, you will be tired. I bootstrapped a software business to 7 figures ARR solo, and raising her is more draining. And more rewarding.

I never cease to be amazed at how many people aren't aware that there are difficult children to raise. They seem to think that how you feel about life is determined entirely by how well you Jedi mind trick your attitude into always being positive.

Life is hard for some people! Sorry you have to hear about it in public, but if it's that annoying for you to just hear it, imagine living it!

I know I was like that second child you mention.

Whenever I feel sorry for myself it helps to think about my dad who had to live with me as his first child (and I have more siblings that children : )

> some kids are absolutely more work

no argument on that point!

I have two kids

I'm currently on long term parental leave, and my perspective differs. Sabbaticals are for changing your perspective and developing in different ways from full time work. I feel like I properly have time for my kids because they're the whole focus, so it doesn't feel like a list of chores at all, or something that is preventing from living life. Instead, it feels like the most fulfilling experience of my life so far.

Daily duties are still going to be there during a sabbatical. You still have to cook and wash your clothes, your teeth and upkeep your environment, but you have full flexibility of when and how and where.