Is it made up that finances are one of the primary reasons for divorce? Also, that women tend to leave more so than men if the men make significantly less (or none) than them?

I'm sure financial stress takes a toll on couples. Just like in this case, some self-imposed sense of obligation and identity is taxing this man. It seems, probably, very artificially.

And gasp, yes, younger generations are absolutely seeing men taking time off and relying on the woman's income.

I honestly just can't with this stuff. I forget what it's like going from gay/queer spaces back to straight world. Y'all get hung up on the absolute silliest, sexist, unfair stuff that ironically is actually a serious issue worth consideration in the grand scheme of advocating for men.

Male unemployment increases the chance of divorce by a third: https://time.com/4425061/unemployment-divorce-men-women/

> Contemporary husbands face higher risk of divorce when they do not fulfill the stereotypical breadwinner role

You may be worthy of love and respect regardless of your employment status but that isn't what happens in real life.

Wowie. Maybe just maybe folks have bigger issues than "my identity as a man is dependent on having a job". But again, I have existed in queer and 30-yr-and-below spaces for so long that this is just absurd to me. Even the straight friends I have would openly scoff at this.

If the response to this is "well I better embrace my identity as a man who only has worth via a job and deserving of love in exchange for money"... then yeah, /r/arethestraightsokay ?

Sometimes I just wish I could instill a sense of "this is YOUR life, your ONLY life" for others the way I've embraced in my late-20s. So many people barreling faster and faster ahead to avoid any examination of their actual relationship to happiness. And then the masses to give excuses for why an unexamined life is unavoidable (lest they consider their own).

Since you are asking arethestraightsokay? Here's something else that is quite interesting to me and may help you better understand the dynamics at play. The divorce rate for gay men is lower than straight couples but the divorce rates for lesbian women is much higher[0]. This is in line with a majority of divorces being filed by women[1]. Similarly systemic bias plays a role in divorce proceedings in favor of women, for example until recently in many states, it was the presumption that children under four should live with the mother[2] regardless of her fitness as one, this bias statistically continues to this day, even in places where the tender years doctrine has been abolished.

There is a great movie called Divorce Corp that goes into more detail than I can here but it's shocking how "old school" the thinking of family courts is as well as the systems around them.

[0]https://www.metroweekly.com/2020/12/lesbians-much-more-likel...

[1]https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202...

[2]https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tender_years_doctrine

If you want to have kids and a big family, there are obligations that come with that unless you want to do everything your own way and encounter whatever happens. If your friends are unmarried or childless and not thinking of changing that, there's no context for this to make sense to them. That's all I'm gonna say since a few comments up is some guy derailing the convo to take jabs at OP.

It's a component. "Breadwinner" is a common pattern for showing up, so if that is your only model for what you do, and you can't do it, then you are up a creek.

But it's not the only way. You simply need to be able to show up, follow through on your commitments, and be a value add for your partner's life. Many find that money is the most natural way to do that, but it's far from the only model.

It does seem made up. I think it should be backed up with references. Also, it's really unhelpful for OP's question.

It's perfectly normal for men to earn less than their SO. Statistically it would be the case in 50% of couples, in an ideal world with gender equality.

Also, in any relationship, there will be moments where one person is out of work and dependent on the other (laid off, take care of kids, take care of parents, burnout, etc).

Women sue for divorce more than men, regardless of earning disparity.

Nah, it's true, but it's not helpful right now. Comes off as just wanting to look down on OP.

I got a similar answer from a fellow student when I got rejected from a master's program on a technicality and was asking how to appeal, "you're not good enough." Well I got a job instead, and that guy's arrogance gave him -$50K, 2 years gone, and graduation during a horrible job market.