Re:Ask HN: I Need to Talk to Someone
by willcipriano on Monday February 20, 2023 @02:28PM
(#34871810)
Since you are asking arethestraightsokay? Here's something else that is quite interesting to me and may help you better understand the dynamics at play. The divorce rate for gay men is lower than straight couples but the divorce rates for lesbian women is much higher[0]. This is in line with a majority of divorces being filed by women[1]. Similarly systemic bias plays a role in divorce proceedings in favor of women, for example until recently in many states, it was the presumption that children under four should live with the mother[2] regardless of her fitness as one, this bias statistically continues to this day, even in places where the tender years doctrine has been abolished.
There is a great movie called Divorce Corp that goes into more detail than I can here but it's shocking how "old school" the thinking of family courts is as well as the systems around them.
[0]https://www.metroweekly.com/2020/12/lesbians-much-more-likel...
[1]https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/finding-new-home/202...
If you want to have kids and a big family, there are obligations that come with that unless you want to do everything your own way and encounter whatever happens. If your friends are unmarried or childless and not thinking of changing that, there's no context for this to make sense to them. That's all I'm gonna say since a few comments up is some guy derailing the convo to take jabs at OP.
If the response to this is "well I better embrace my identity as a man who only has worth via a job and deserving of love in exchange for money"... then yeah, /r/arethestraightsokay ?
Sometimes I just wish I could instill a sense of "this is YOUR life, your ONLY life" for others the way I've embraced in my late-20s. So many people barreling faster and faster ahead to avoid any examination of their actual relationship to happiness. And then the masses to give excuses for why an unexamined life is unavoidable (lest they consider their own).