I've been there. The thing I fine that helps is just doing anything to disrupt the pattern. Go get your motorcycle license, join a gym, get a new wardrobe, paint your room, read a book, anything. If you can force yourself to do something other than what you're doing just once, it'll be easier to do something else the second, third, forth, etc. time.

I find the more disruptive that first change is, the easier the rest become.

Hope this helps.

Consistently getting high (weed) greatly increases dopamine baseline, leading to other things being “harder” to start doing. It also increases negative thoughts (anxiety). weed, alcohol and other substances can lead to negative loop where you consume to feel better and feel worse the day(s) after due to the consumption, leading to increased appetite.

There are many ways out, you just have to find one that works for you. Previous poster’s suggestion are good. A psychologist can help. Detox. A trip to a new place. Late night hobbies with friends. Exercise is great.

A really easy start would be to listen to Andrew Huberman's work on Dopamine. Realize that you're stuck in a rut-—accept it. Then start racking up tiny wins. I mean infinitesimally small wins. Then slowly you will work your way out.

Don't despair. Everyone goes through this from time-to-time.

You are self medicating and self isolating because you are suffering. Get help. You were meant to be apart of a community where you are loved and appreciated.

I second getting help.

Over the years, even up to the present time, I have tried to do all the right things like getting properly assessed, undergoing therapy, seeking proper medication, millions attempts to better myself, etc..

I'm still doing trying to do everything I listed above, but I have made little to no progress over the last decade, and in some ways, I feel that I have actually regressed. I have started to accept that I might be fundamentally broken beyond repair.

I am not saying any of this to discourage anyone from getting proper help, I just think people should be aware that treatments are not a guarantee.

In my experience, self-medication is a symptom of the need of medication, in general. You just have to find the right medication. Avoid benzos if you can, though. They are extremely addictive.

Depression, dysthymia, ADD, ADHD, AED, for example, aren't things you can just will yourself out of.

People who have experienced profound sadness at some point in their lives tend to assume depression is the same. They will then advice (with good intentions) people who are depressed to do what they did, since it worked for them.

Just change this or that habit. But it's not how it works in reality.

Also, there's nothing wrong with being alone, and there's nothing wrong with feeling bad. Society pushes us to be at the top of our productivity at all times, which leads us to feel guilt when we need to rest. Mental health IS health, and it requires time, in the same way you'd need time in bed if you had a surgery or whatever.

Finally, there's no end goal in life. Life is meaningless. No matter what you do, if you're enjoying yourself, it's good. If you watch TV all day everyday for the rest of your life — that's perfectly fine. There's nothing wrong with it. It's YOUR life. Nobody can tell you how to live it.

Benzos are addictive and destructive.

https://www.benzo.org.uk/

https://www.asprescribedfilm.com/

And they do a whole lot of good for some people!

Yes, but the conversation was in the context of self-medicating.

I didn't mean benzos as self-medication, though. I went to see a psychiatrist once and he handed me benzos as if they were candies.

Years after, I found out, when taken for years, they do permanent damage to the brain's ability to form long-term memories. Among other things.

Fortunately, I didn't take them that long. But I had many friends in the same situation, taking benzos because their psychiatrist gave them to them just like that, without offering alternatives.

To properly reword my advice: be careful with psychologists and psychiatrists. Not all of them are good, and not all of them have your best interest in mind.

Thanks for sharing. A person close to me was in this exact same situation. Her doctor prescribed benzos for years, and it ruined her life. Not only this, but other doctors flat out denied that her symptoms were being caused by withdrawal. Professor Ashton, who founded the website benzo.org.uk, was one of the first to recognize and alert about these dangers. To this day, a lot of doctors are uneducated about the side effects of, and proper tapering techniques for benzos.

Seconding avoid benzos, nearly saw them destroy someone's life and it seems like doctors prescribe them way too easily.

Motivation is s**. It won't last.

Discipline is what you want. And you can build that no matter what. Just start small and go from there. [0]

[0]https://i.pinimg.com/originals/55/34/a9/5534a9d2ac48a66cd341...

So you're saying that discipline is like a large, powerful, commanding force that demands action? Sounds awful. Like being a child being told to do their homework. Can't we do better?

Also can you explain what's going on in the second panel? Some strong underpants gnomes vibes. I mean, I like how easy it is, but I can't seem to find the switch in the mirror!

> Can't we do better?

If you find a better way, let me know. This is the best one I found, and it doesn't depend on me having a good day and everything being hunky dory.

> I can't seem to find the switch in the mirror

Tidy your room. Start small. Grow from there. Plan, iterate, improve. Whatever you add to the routine, have it stick by sheer force of will and repetition.

Fuck your feelings. I mean that. Whatever your feelings tell you, tell them to fuck off. You have something to do and you're going to do it. Period.

Personally, I've been fortunate insofar as I haven't struggled with motivation. I'm happy you found a system that works for you, but truthfully it sounds harsh. Maybe some people simply need a dominant super ego that runs roughshod over their feelings to get things done... but the idealist in me hopes for something less authoritarian. Like, the whole dichotomy of "you" versus "feelings" strikes me as problematic. Your language, and the comic, seem rife with guilt and shame.

Anything that doesn't try to cushion feelings feels problematic in this age.

I think we need to go back to the stoics, and forget about all this touchy-feely that being all soft is ok. Sometimes it's not ok.

When did self-discipline become a bad word for so many people?

Who said self-discipline is bad? Why can't we have self-discipline without shame, guilt, or authoritarianism? We're not children who need parents to force us clean up our rooms.

Sure let's be stoic, but I don't agree that means "fuck your feeling" or looks anything like the comic you linked. There's a third way.

> We're not children who need parents to force us clean up our rooms

By parent you mean yourself? Because I don't think you're getting the point that sometimes your mind needs to stop and just do the damn job. And you need to be in charge of it, instead of letting it wander on endlessly.

Yes, by parent I mean the super ego or whatever metaphor suits you.

I believe I understand your point, and agree with you. You're saying "sometimes your mind needs to stop" and that "you need to be in charge of it." E.g. your mind might be very anxious and distracted by an upcoming work deadline and seek to soothe itself by reading Hacker News, but "you" should stop that from happening, say by installing a site-blocking plugin for your browser and instituting and adhering to "work hours" each morning. Assuming I'm not way off target, I agree with all that.

But it seems we're talking past each other, as I'm responding to your original comic strip which has more to say. The metaphors it uses, and that you have used in this discussion, depict compulsion. That's where I disagree with you. I believe force / shame / guilt work, but that we should aspire for a superior resolution to the problem. One not based on those principles.

> we should aspire for a superior resolution to the problem

The superior resolution is that your mind gets trained not to wander off by constant repetition.

Your brain will always seek immediate rewards, it's just innate to your monkey brain. You have to train it not to. Same as you train a muscle to grow by having it lift weights even though it would rather not because it's painful.

Not sure why you say "shame" or "guilt", those were never part of my initial argument nor the comic. Force, yes, in the same way you force your arms to do push-ups or lift weights.

I have a very strong suspicion of having ADHD and I can tell you that the brain hardware that can tell feelings to fuck off is malfunctioning in ADHD and is fixed by elevating the levels of norepinephrine. It is literally impossible for me to apply the very concept of discipline otherwise. Yes, this condition is as terrifying as you now imagine it to be.

No kidding. I am right there with you.

I get that motivation is a fleeting feeling, but what about when discipline and willpower are too?

I have succumbed to the idea that I basically just each day of my life like a game of roulette. Am I going to be productive today? Better spin the wheel to find out.

Spent whatever minute amounts of motivation/discipline/willpower on building simple and effective "systems" that require no motivation/discipline/willpower.

For example, I want to get better at playing piano, but it's both hard to set aside time, and hard to get myself to sit down for a set amount of time and Do Piano. I tried putting the keyboard in a few places, including directly behind my computer desk (literally 2 feet away from me), but there was too much friction involved in moving my chair and changing the lighting etc--it really wasn't much, probably 15 seconds of effort, but it required deliberate intention.

I discovered, though, that if the keyboard is on the landing outside my office with a dedicated chair, then I'll see the setup on my way to/from the kitchen, and it will sometimes feel inviting--often a nice distraction while waiting 10 minutes for a meeting, or while procrastinating on something else I'm trying to get motivated on. And sometimes 10 minutes turns into 30 or who knows how long, and my taxes may be stalled out but I sure am making progress on the fugue I'm learning.

Source: diagnosed ADD for 20+ years.

Yeah, but this scheme becomes a huge problem with a device like a PC that can do anything while physically being in the same space. The only way to brute force that is to buy separate computers for work, gaming, and creative pursuits. Which is kinda expensive.

There are tons of different tactics! Be creative. You could:

- multiboot: one OS install for work, another OS install for games/other

- get a PiHole or modify /etc/hosts to blackhole certain known terrible sites

- leave a minor compile error for yourself just before you leave work, so that in the morning you type 'make' and get suckered into fixing the small thing, which gets you into the flow of work the next day (this has worked for me too)

Don't give up before you've tried or of course you won't find something that works. You never know whatIt took months to find that the placement for my keyboard works for me. Treat yourself like you would a child that you love, and be patient and persistent as you try to figure out how to set up your/their environment to allow you/them to function better in this weird life you/they have been given.

> It is literally impossible for me to apply the very concept of discipline

That right there is why I don't like people that jump straight to medical conditions without analyzing other alternatives: unless you get reviewed by an actual physician, diagnosed, and treated, please don't assume and act on what you think might be the problem. Not saying you're 100% wrong, but it's most likely you are. And that might worsen the problem.

I suppose it depends on the person. In the past, I’ve tried to just be disciplined, stop procrastinating, and push through no matter what, and it lead to horrible burnout where I spent weeks/months being fairly ineffective. If you’re not sleeping at all at night and can’t think straight during the day, even for a couple minutes, you’re simply not going to be effective. You’re also liable to make really bad decisions that will drag on you even after you’ve recovered.

These days I try not to worry too much about procrastination, and get as much done as I can. I’ve found lots of little tricks to squeeze out more productivity here and there. If I’m in a situation where I just need to buckle down and push through, I will, but I’m not going to risk pushing myself over the edge when it’s not necessary.

Did you include exercise in your day? I mean, I'm assuming you have a well rounded routine, which may not be so.

If you lack exercise, sunlight, or proper nutrition, lack of focus is the last of your problems to solve and more of an obvious consequence.

I find it weird how all those things are usually overlooked and everyone jumps to ADHD or something like that.

I did, and still do, but that's another thing that got severely screwed up by burnout.

Routine is a good word. I have a flexible routine now, and it's effective enough. It's not the most disciplined, and there's procrastination, but I don't worry about it and just try to make sure that I'm moving in the right direction.

Try 20 minutes transcendental meditation a day and some form of exercise everyday (lift weights 3x a week) for 30 days.

I’ll do it with you.

https://youtu.be/IeRdy6LrOAI

I'm biased against TM because you have to pay money to join in order to learn it. I am in favor of Vipassana (dhamma.org) because it's free.

I've struggled quite a bit with problems that feel similar to your description. This book is what helped me the most: https://www.carolynspring.com/shop/unshame-paperback/

> This has been going on for a few weeks now.

Wow. This one sentence really drives home how different human experiences can be. Being stuck in a destructive, painful, unproductive loop like this is awful and I'm sorry you're going through it, but wow, a few weeks!? It's jarring to consider the idea that it's not completely normal for this to be one's life for years and years on end.

I misread your message at first, I had thought you were astonished that someone's fallen off the productivity wagon, so to speak, for a few weeks. I've been dealing with similar stuff as the parent poster for probably half of my life, so decades. I feel like an unpatched human being, full of bugs. yes, I talk to a shrink, take the pills, stopped the addicting substance, and still struggle with self-destructive behavior, fleeting relationships, lack of romantic relationships for over 5 years, but other things have improved.

Learn about how cannabis feels good for ADHD due to dopamine release: https://hubermanlab.com/the-effects-of-cannabis-marijuana-on...

There are ways to quit. Quitting will help. For starters I know there is a reddit /leaves/ group for this purpose.

However, in larger doses it also contributes towards feelings of anxiety, which is counter productive. Proceed with caution.

Right, I should have clarified; it feels good/relieving in the short-term, but causes problems with these brain systems in the long-term.