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Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by frontman1988 on Saturday December 31, 2022 @05:20AM (#34195177)
Not watch porn even once. I am not addicted to it or something, but want to improve my self-control.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by camhart on Saturday December 31, 2022 @06:22AM (#34195440)
Many don't realize how much control porn has over them until they try to quit. Quitting for 1 day, 1 week can be easy. Quitting for a year? Almost everyone who regularly watches will struggle to do so. Don't let the struggle discourage you. If you give in, try to get back up asap. Even if you don't make it 100% porn free year its not a failure.

Wish you the best.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by marvin on Saturday December 31, 2022 @06:35AM (#34195533)
I don't understand why one would quit porn. It's great entertainment. It increases quality of life. It's an integral part of one's sex life. Why would one want to quit?
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by MonkeyClub on Saturday December 31, 2022 @06:41AM (#34195565)
I hear that cigarette smoking is also very pleasant, especially after meals, while thoughtfully gazing at a landscape, with coffee after waking up, etc. /s

https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by elvis10ten on Saturday December 31, 2022 @06:58AM (#34195682)
Are you comparing porn with cigarettes for real?
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by hackernewds on Saturday December 31, 2022 @07:50AM (#34196003)
There's evidence to suggest the dopaminergic addiction is just as strong
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by Aicy on Saturday December 31, 2022 @08:11AM (#34196131)
Porn addiction can be much more damaging to people's lives than cigarettes.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by elvis10ten on Saturday December 31, 2022 @08:17AM (#34196175)
None of the prior comments talk about addiction. Just porn consumption.

Addiction to anything is bad, simple.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by MonkeyClub on Saturday December 31, 2022 @10:11AM (#34197084)
> Are you comparing porn with cigarettes for real?

Well, technically speaking, it wasn't a comparison, it was a rhetorical parallel to indicate that perhaps just because something appears to be pleasurable, it doesn't mean that it's also good for you.

Were I to compare, it would be an apples/oranges thing, which isn't the right way to compare anything.

Not to mention that smoking affects only the user (and their environment, surely, and perhaps their insurance provider), while porn also affects the actors, to a degree that it must be paralleled to abuse.

You may like watching porn; but could you stomach going through that meat grinder as your career?

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by elvis10ten on Saturday December 31, 2022 @10:33AM (#34197270)
Yea, I had a feeling I used the wrong word “compare”, but didn’t know the correct word. Thanks.

> just because something appears to be pleasurable

The comment you reply to didn’t only focus on pleasure.

> Not to mention that smoking affects only the user

This doesn’t connect. Smoking affects also people nearby (people that didn’t sign up for it). Porn only “affects” people watching and involved (both parties signed up for it).

Also look up ethical porn. I can’t vouch for all of it, but I know some people here in Europe that treat their performers well.

We largely fixed this with coffee. I hope we can largely fix it with porn.

> You may like watching porn; but could you stomach going through that meat grinder as your career?

I love sex and wouldn’t mind getting paid to have it. I know some performers personally and wouldn’t mind working with them. The only reason I won’t do it is because society will penalize me when I maybe want to become president ahaha.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by input_sh on Saturday December 31, 2022 @08:50AM (#34196393)
After looking at that website for like 3 minutes, I've reached the conclusion that I prefer my sex advice to come from someone who's not opposed to orgasms during sex.

It also doesn't help to see things like this on his Wikipedia without listing any sort of institution he was affiliated with:

> Wilson was born in Seattle and taught human pathology, anatomy, and physiology, and was especially interested in the neurochemistry of addiction.

The most reputable thing I could find about him is a TEDx talk, and criteria for giving one of those isn't really top-notch.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Wilson_(author)

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by MonkeyClub on Saturday December 31, 2022 @08:55AM (#34196429)
> After looking at that website for like 3 minutes, I've reached the conclusion that

Three-minute conclusions are the best, and they can last for decades.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by input_sh on Saturday December 31, 2022 @11:32AM (#34197986)
Yes, if I can't quickly verify someone's credentials, I pretty instantly dismiss them as the arbiter of truth.

Even more so when they're talking about pyschology, anatomy, health... You know, the topics where bullshit information online tends to be quite common.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by SyzygistSix on Saturday December 31, 2022 @11:36AM (#34198038)
At this point, I consider giving a TEDx talk an anti-qualification.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by yodsanklai on Saturday December 31, 2022 @06:47AM (#34195598)
Exactly. It causes no harm. I'd rather have more real sex, but in the meantime porn is the best substitute available.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by elvis10ten on Saturday December 31, 2022 @07:01AM (#34195696)
Can be personal decision. Like someone choosing to watch less/no movies.

Porn can also be bad for you if you have no control over your consumption. But that is true for most things.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by nhatcher on Saturday December 31, 2022 @07:19AM (#34195809)
For some people watching too much porn damages their actual sexual life. Granted in other cases might help. So it comes down to a personal choice. Some people don't want to support the darker side of the industry. They don't know/understand the implications of their watching porn has on many of the people involved. Some people may prefer to read/exercise but they keep dragging themselves into hours of porn.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by elvis10ten on Saturday December 31, 2022 @08:22AM (#34196217)
> They don't know/understand the implications of their watching porn has on many of the people involved.

There is something called “Ethical porn”. It might just be smoke and mirrors, but they promise to be ethical to people involved.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by hackernewds on Saturday December 31, 2022 @07:49AM (#34195997)
> It increases quality of life. It's an integral part of one's sex life.

I disagree with both these assumptions. Curious why you think so?

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by marvin on Sunday January 01, 2023 @07:11PM (#34212660)
A comparison of my own quality of life with and without makes the distinction obvious both with and without a long-term relationship. It's a completely unproblematic and simple judgement.

Of course I don't claim to speak for everyone; people are different and there's obviously people who should reduce or abstain from porn.

GP, however, did seem to speak for everyone, so a counterpoint was called for.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by sawmurai on Saturday December 31, 2022 @09:44AM (#34196838)
It reminds of the typical “let’s take a complex thing and blow a tiny detail’s importance completely out of proportion”. In this case the complex thing is “happiness” and the tiny detail is “the fraction of time you spend watching porn”. So yeah, no reason to quit, unless you are a diagnosed addict. But to each their own :)
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by slothtrop on Saturday December 31, 2022 @10:11AM (#34197092)
It has decreased my quality of life by virtue that it interferes with it. Binge-watching (including browsing) lowers your baseline dopamine levels. It may also interfere with sleep (I can attest to this - having images swimming in your head, usually from over-consumption, can make it impossible). Some people find it more addicting than others.

One I admire, writer of thelastpsychiatrist, said you should treat porn viewing like a heist - in and out in 10 minutes. That's been the intention for years, but the longer sessions creep back in.

You might as well ask why some people can't handle their liquor, drugs, or junk food. This goes back to self-medicating / emotional consumption from many years back, when easily available pirated porn was a complete novelty and I had no idea of what sort of impact it might have on me.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by mrccc on Saturday December 31, 2022 @06:25AM (#34195462)
What worked really well for improving my self-control regarding porn was putting money in the game. Whenever you trip, I have to donate 100€ to an organization I don't like (in other words, hate). It should be really painful to donate this money.

I once tripped and it was extremely painful. Don't want to do this again.

Depending on how important this is to you, I'd increase/decrease the amount of money on the table.

It's very helpful to do this together with a friend, to keep each other accountable.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by hackernewds on Saturday December 31, 2022 @07:50AM (#34196009)
There's actually a really cool NPR podcast on how people used this same strategy to give up a 4 decade smoking habit
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by bckr on Saturday December 31, 2022 @11:22AM (#34197836)
Good luck on this quest!

For anyone else not seeking to quit porn, one thing I do is just watch the same favorite clips, only looking for new clips maybe once a month.

The way this practice feels is much different from binging on the firehose.

Another thing I do is mix exotic dancing with these clips. It lowers the "direct" stimulation level and adds a sense of beauty and rapture to the experience.

In fact, frontman1988, I would recommend this latter practice as a fallback. If you feel you absolutely need to look at something sensual, don't dive all the way down into the deepest smut you can find. Just allow a little titillation instead, and you won't have gone off the path as far.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by jstx1 on Saturday December 31, 2022 @12:17PM (#34198447)
> even once.

The problem with this approach is that if you fail once, there goes the entire year. Try something like "not to do $x on 95% of days" or "go a full month without $x". An all-or-nothing strategy doesn't give you a mechanism to get back on the horse and improve.

Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by frontman1988 on Saturday December 31, 2022 @12:39PM (#34198668)
I prefer to go all out. Allowing for leniency would be admitting defeat even before starting. I mean how difficult can it be to not view certain websites. If I fail I will implement your technique, but until then I trust myself enough to succeed.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by slothtrop on Saturday December 31, 2022 @02:43PM (#34199956)
I don't think all-or-nothing strategy is necessarily the same as restrictive cognitive restraint. You can avoid agonizing about failure and still shoot for quitting cold turkey - evidently this strategy works for some.
Re:Ask HN: What is your new year's resolution? by tonguetrainer on Saturday December 31, 2022 @03:01PM (#34200159)
I just soft-launched a method to overcome addictions and improve impulse control. It combines the Todo list with self-control techniques in a fun way. Might be worth a try? https://Tuduka.com