I’ve absolutely met people especially with limited language skills who get confused and frustrated by all these complicated concepts they’re expected to understand to simply not be accused of being hateful.

Not to be too Orwellian, but I’ve often wondered why nobody say, talks about removing gendered pronouns altogether in formal speech instead of adding 50 new ones for instance. People seem to only talk about adding new words and concepts.

> I’ve often wondered why nobody say, talks about removing gendered pronouns altogether in formal speech instead of adding 50 new ones for instance.

'They' instead of 'he/she' is one of the things people actually use, and it's exactly dropping the gendered pronoun in favor of an existing neutral pronoun. It's strictly simpler and smaller language. My teenage kids use this construction a lot and I'm getting used to it.

It is, but some people specifically insist on "he" and "she" and will get offended if you use "they". In one such case, when I asked why "they" is inappropriate since it is by definition inclusive of all genders, the question itself was declared highly offensive and "erasing".

I think there are multiple layers behind why someone might find "they" inappropriate. I don't think they're necessarily all valid but I think they're understandable.

1) Gender is currently a political topic. The use of gender neutral pronouns is, rightly or wrongly, associated with holding certain political beliefs. People who do not hold these beliefs are likely to reject their use on that basis.

2) Gender is a matter of personal identity. A fairly common desire for people is to be "good" at the gender they identify as. A fundamental part of that is being recognised by others as that gender. Gender neutral pronouns refuse to provide that acknowledgement.

3) They can be unfamiliar. Ultimately pronouns are something that, until recently, most people never actively thought about. Some people will reactively reject them as it puts into question their understanding of the world.

If some people can insist on 'they' why would it be weird that some people would insist on 'he'? That word is their identity.

This floors me. Can I ask the context in which this person was offended by the use of “they?” Was it a work setting? Tell me more about this person

It was a conversation in a private setting with several participants, some of whom were trans. It started as a broad conversation about which pronouns should be properly used when. When we got to "they", one of the participants brought up a common pattern whereby people will use "he" or "she" consistently to refer to cis people whose gender they know, but "they" when they need to refer to trans people (with known more specific pronouns) in the context where they can't get away with misgendering. We all agreed that this is rude, but then I asked whether it would be problematic if the person used "they" consistently, without discriminating. That's when it blew up.

Yep, turns out people of all sorts can be assholes, even to folks who are making a good faith effort to navigate a changing world.

That said, I think your Orwellian concerns might reflect your personal media consumption more than the state of our changing world. People do talk about removing gendered pronouns (see: nonbinary people), and the vast majority of transgender people are attempting to assimilate into the existing man/woman gender model rather than pushing a complex system of new words and concepts. As I'm sure you're aware, both of those approaches have proven controversial and generated quite a bit of backlash, sometimes violently so.

Not everyone is cut out for a world filled with people who don't think like them. Unfortunately that's the world we live in, so we all get to figure out what to do about it.

nonbinary people have been begging peiple to use non-gendered language.

the singular they, 'my friend', y'all, fam etc... are all wonderful substitutes for a gendered pronoun.

That makes no sense. An enby is saying they don't have gender, not that gender doesn't exist. In fact, if you don't use gender words for everyone else you're sort of throwing shade at them.

That sounds like a liberal feminist from ~20 years ago, trying to remove words that they think are used to oppress people. Like the people who invented Latinx.

Humans favor adding over subtracting in problem solving: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=26727878

This was my struggle with social media as it evolved. I watched it go from a predominantly techie novelty to how everyone communicated. I'd say I became more anxious and self-doubting as a result, but in some ways that's an improvement.

They aren't 'coping' with reactionary extremism, it's always had its seductive song.

What has changed is just that extremist groups have very successfully adopted the communication tools available to them for recruitment and engagement.

I don't think it's off-base to suggest individuals gravitate toward belief systems that address their anxieties, and that might be particularly true for reactionary extremism.

Completely agree on your second point though, the amplifying power of the internet aids all messages (without intervention, anyway).

Sure, I suppose so, I'll agree that both factors are at play.

It has been objectively documented that anxiety has increased over the years, and I (And every other Tom, Dick and Harry) have subjective just-so-stories and complaints that will blame particular attributes of modern society on why more people are looking for these kinds of answers today than they were before.