If you have a newish Intel CPU they're supposed to have good AV1 hardware encoding support. See SVT-AV1. (which ffmpeg also supports: https://trac.ffmpeg.org/wiki/Encode/AV1#SVT-AV1 )
https://netflixtechblog.com/svt-av1-an-open-source-av1-encod...
I'm not sure what might be wrong on your end, but it sounds like ffmpeg's default configs might not be well-optimized yet if you can't encode in real time.
But also yes, as others are pointing out, this is a problem rapidly being addressed and is not atypical for new media formats.
Here's a guide with some various options for using it with ffmpeg: https://gitlab.com/AOMediaCodec/SVT-AV1/-/blob/master/Docs/F...
This picture is a little old now but it should get across the point of why libaom isn't a meaningful speed test.
It can be set to go faster, but the default speed is only one notch faster than on this chart.
A video of just 10min would take many hours, on the other end h265 encoding is slow but doable.