Having 3 kids, I put them to sleep by 9.30. There's a loop that they can't fall asleep when they're tired and they're tired because they don't get enough sleep, so we even make sure they have excess sleep if possible. Otherwise they get cranky and it's a bad day/week/month for everyone.

I realise I could just wake up earlier to do stuff, and if I wake up early, I'm also less likely to waste it on pointless things.

Ditto, mine are not all down until 9.30, or worse. Then I am too knackered and shell-shocked to actually get anything done, yet wont actually do the sensible thing and go to bed early as too guilty with the chores still to do...

The kids being down at 730/19:30 doesn’t mean everything is done:

Laundry, cleaning after dinner, tidying up, ordering groceries/making shopping lists, actually doing groceries, fixing something in/at house/car/garden, taking out trash(diapers), paper/plastic, researching which child seat to buy when they get bigger, parent/teacher sessions. This when you are lucky. Maybe even preparation for work or study is needed still. Etcetera.

Just to point out that free time and therefore a moment for yourself doesn’t automatically start the moment kids are at bed.

It’s not that I disagree, but all those things need doing just as much if your kids are in bed at 9:30 at the earliest.

Have you tried outsourcing all the chores? Get a nanny, a gardener, a personal assistant, hire handymen, don’t cook at home.

Sorry for being analytical about it, I am personally interested in having kids—and so far it seems to me that you’re overburdening yourself with too much stuff that you don’t have to do at all.

I can outsource and I do, I also readily buy any tool or appliance that saves me time. But not everyone is as well of that they can afford to do that.

Also, I have found that there is significant benefit in doing chores yourself. At least it gives me a sense of accomplishment and a chance to do something with my hands instead of thinking a lot and then wiggle some fingers to type or draw PowerPoint.

My wife is a morning person. I am not. She does all the morning stuff, and gets the kiddo to school before I even wake up. I put our kid to bed, do the dishes, and game/hobby stuff until midnight to 2am. My wife enjoys her quiet mornings before I wake up and the kiddo is in school, I enjoy my quiet evenings when everyone is in bed.

I can’t imagine how couples that are both morning or night people can function. It must be so different.

I feel like it's a trade-off between having a little extra time in the evening or a little more sleep in the morning.

Mine go to sleep about 7:30pm, but are generally awake at 5:30 to 6:00am, so you yourself need to go to sleep not long after, or you will have a sleep deficit.

So, it's not a huge amount of time, especially once you do all the jobs than need to be done once they are asleep.