Taking care of your health and general well-being is a basic activity at some point and may not give you the necessary emotional boost to escape your own hand carved rut. The real issue is that you need to do something that makes you proud of yourself. That's what "exercise and get off drugs" advice is really trying to say, but it's never a one size fits all like everyone makes it seem.
People can gather their sense of pride from a lot of things: from helping others, to cleaning their room, to climbing Mount Everest. Maybe they feel pride from cooking a perfect lasagna or by praying every night. OP should do some soul searching and figure out why he isn't proud of himself and... make the necessary corrections.
EDIT: Apologies EddySchauHai! I mean to agree with you but also acknowledge that different things scratch that invisible itch for different people, and at different times in their lives.
Once you've covered your bases, then you can work on the spirit. The last level is self-actualization. Work in itself is only a means in expressing your existence. Either it funds your lifestyle, and that's what we call a job, or it can bring fulfillment, which we call a vocation.
This is just my mental model for a good life, but I think it's a solid start for building your own.
I exercise 2 hours per day, 5 times a week, and eat healthy food: vegetables, protein, no snacks, low sugar, low salt, no ketchup, no mustard, no mayonnaise, no oil for cooking, basically anything doctors recommend, I do it, and I have been doing it for the last 5 years or so.
Does it help? Probably.
Do I still feel constant dread? Yes, every single day, but I learned to live with that feeling and focus on the happiness between work hours.
You don't even need to run. Starting your day with a 15min walk has huge benefits. Maybe someday most people can actually enjoy their physical activities but start by forcing yourself to do something, similar to flossing your teeth, will form the habit and give you a taste of the positive benefits.
He stopped eating any foods with added oils, as well as anything fatty like nuts and avocados. He eats absolutely zero oil, just basic grains with vegetables and fruits. Ten years later and his doctor says, aside from the stents, he shows no signs of heart disease at all.
Anecdotal improvement aside, your statement about high carbs/low oil being unsustainable is false.
You need dietary fats to be healthy, and healthy sources like fish and nuts are often recommended by doctors and dieticians to improve cardiovascular health.
Diet and exercise recommendations work in the overwhelming majority of people who actually follow them.
This is validated by mountains of research.
The reason we have such poor health outcomes in the US is because people have such terrible diets and sedentary lifestyles which are contrary to those recommendations. And as these lifestyle choices are being adopted in other countries, you see their populations starting to have similarly bad health outcomes of the same kind (e.g., diabetes, hypertension, etc.).
All of this is extremely well-understood.
I also recommend some form of mindfulness, whether it's being fully present during a workout, or just sitting in the sun for 10 minutes in the morning.
The feeling of burnout/constant dread is a tiredness of the spirit. Physical nourishment and exercise can only provide so much. You gotta feed the soul too.
A great thing with it is that you can just basically force yourself to do it, and still reap the rewards.
I find it's much easier to procrastinate when I don't feel like working. But if I just push myself to go out for a walk or lift some weights, once I get going I'll usually see it through and feel much better afterwards. It doesn't even have to be much, just a few rounds of pushups and squats (without weights) is enough to get the blood flowing and get my spirits back up. There's something about feeling your body working that's very mentally relaxing.
Bonus points for this having an effect on my food cravings, which I've seen have an effect on mood. I think there was a related thread on HN recently, but I can't seem to find it.
I’ve experienced this before — falling into a rut, becoming depressed and having extraordinary difficulty getting back up. It’s like a motivation off-switch.
Talk therapy is good. Try to find a therapist that you can trust.
Don’t be afraid of anti-depressants, especially for something likely to be shorter term like this. They don’t change your personality (although you might put on 3 to 5 lbs).
Are you being treated for ADHD? Some people with ADHD find that their depression goes away when they take psychostimulants or practice CBT to manage their symptoms.
What helped me out is finding a good information about CBT and its principles, where it explained clearly in simple terms. After that - actually doing the work myself. I did journal different situations that produced strong negative emotions or body reactions throughout the day for 3 months. Event-Thought-Emotion-Reaction. That helped out to find running themes in my head. Then afterwards every 2 weeks I went through the journal and wrote down alternative thoughts for it.
Remember when you going to the talk therapist you are expecting them to solve your problem, to give you the pill that solves everything. That won't work. You must do the job in the first place. With good information you don't even need to go to the therapist, you just need to be desperate enough that you start actually working on it. At least that what worked for me. Meditation is also pretty good, but same as exercise won't take you all the way there
I will also do a +1 for exercise & talking to a therapist.[though I'm still trying to find one]
Thanks for mentioning this. If it’s depression then talking to a doctor is really important, and if you’re unsure of wether it’s a rut or depression then err on the side of caution and speak to a doctor. There’s apps like Talking Space that let you speak to a therapist if you’d rather go ‘off the books’ so to speak.
I don't want to be that guy, but this is one thing religion helps with.
If your identity is based on anything physical (e.g. family, money, looks, career, etc.) it's fragile and can be lost easily, but if it's a constant not part of the physical world, it can help live life more resiliently.
I used to regularly talk/text to people interested in these things about what I see/learnt about atheism and spend time making fun of religions ( within our circle ).
The weed is only contributing to your depression. You may think it helps you escape, but it actually is making it worse.
In the end the weed makes what I’m doing feel more interesting. Media is designed to be interesting; together, too much stimulus.
Like remote or in office, it’s too subjective to say what is exactly right or not for others.
I was in a rut for years because my work was my identity and I wasn’t where I wanted to be (thank you effective altruism for the identity crisis lol). When I moved out to California I quit drinking (for a while, quit again more recently), focused on exercising, and set a goal of not seeing my whole identity as a software developer. It helped so much with my physical and mental health, and in turn that helped me with my work life.
Honestly if you just view work as a source of income to do the things you want to do, and get out and be a bit more active, you could get out of the rut pretty quickly.
And if you don’t care for any of these suggestions - just stay positive these things are temporary and you’ll feel better in time anyway :) We all have these moments.