We have different parenting styles, and that's OK. I hope your children turn out wonderfully.

I want for my child to have a bigger playground, so to speak. Reading books, playing with kids outside, bothering our neighbors constantly to pet and play with their dogs, making dandelion necklaces, etc. When she's on her phone she just zombies out, and it's like watching a device suck the soul from such a warm and extroverted person.

Things will change with time, but for now, I want her to appreciate and enjoy being a kid. The time for 8 hour screen days can wait.

Yes! Last year when I was pulling all the Ivy from my yard we demolished the back fence and the neighborhood kids were always in our backyard. The sound of the trampoline springs was like alarm. "Come out and play!"

Perhaps one differences is my kids don't have phones at all. No social media. My kids screens are tools for creativity and interactivity. PC's. There is not much zombie face.

Update: Oh also, its very social. After the home schooling in the lockdown, the kids have all their school friends in discord and google chat. There is lots of chatting and laughing and the occasional augment. (which is all part of learning)

You cant play with other kids outside when you are isolated from other kids or when they organize outside play on platform you are not allowed to use. And when all other kids have X and you dont have X, the experience of playing together is experience of not really belonging among them.

>And when all other kids have X and you dont have X, the experience of playing together is experience of not really belonging among them.

On the other hand, it's probably a good skill to form to learn how to adapt when others have something you do not. Other people having access to more resources is something that you deal with your entire life.

I agree with you on something: too many discussions mention 'screen time' as if anything done on a screen was perfectly equivalent. I really feel that playing a videogame/coding/doomscrolling/watching ads/reading/... are all very different activities with different consequences.

There’s a huge difference between video games as well. I wanted to show my nieces what I was playing as a kid, so I bought them aladdin and lion king pack on a Nintendo Switch that I bought for them, but they just want to play Mario Kart, which I think is boring, as it contains so many random elements, that they don’t really have to put in the effort to go through the levels.

I agree that there is a difference between video games.

However, I do not agree with your example. Elements of randomness don't mean a (video) game is trash, and I personally think Mario Kart requires effort to be good at. :)

Indeed. As someone in their 20s one of my regrets, genuinely, is that when I was younger I didn't just spend more time playing video games rather than doomscrolling...

"As adults everything will be on a screen. Might as well start getting good at it."

With all kindness, this is a bit defeatist. True, chances are they'll spend most of their lives sitting in front of a screen. That's no excuse to skip exercising and neglect physical form. Likewise, they need to develop healthy screen habits, which is stay as far away as humanly possible from screens, or else be devoured by them.

Haha, its only defeatist if you think there is something wrong with screens :)

There is much more to life than staring at a screen.

Rather than dive into screen vs. no screen - let me ask: what games are they interacting with? I'm at the very least curious to have a look.

I think the screen vs. no screen debate misses another important point: what am I doing while they're watching something or interacting with a screen? Kids certainly need their own play time and autonomy. But what I don't like about screen time for my kids is the easy excuse it gives me to not pay attention to them.

So, no judgement on the screen vs. no screen from me. That 30 minutes from the TV can my time to zone out too. But it can also be, instead, 30 minutes during which I teach them something/play with them/etc. rather than let the screen take over.

Putting a limit on their screen time helps ensure they use their time intelligently and not just to mess around on TikTok.

Much of what you said can be done outside the screen too, if in alternative forms.