Super chill, knocked all the milestones out of the park, easy to console, cheerful, little peacemaker, apple of big brother’s eye, makes us look like amazing parents.
I don’t give anyone any advice now other than … it can be hard, love your child, and spend a lot of time with them.
That's probably the only generally applicable parenting advice. Glad you got an easy one second time around :)
Our first was difficult as well and advice never really applied. As a baby heavy metal actually worked well, which horrified my mother - but it’s all about finding something that works to calm them. Great closing sentiment, so I’ll paraphrase: it will be hard to love your child sometimes. Love them always, keep them safe, treat them well, and show them the beauty in the world. What seems hard will get easier.
Katherine Heigl: But I had a plan!
Ken Jeong: Baby don't care!
I give one piece of advice, heavily caveated, that running a vacuum cleaner helped calm my newborns when we brought them home from the hospital (advice from nurses line when our oldest was inconsolable at 4 days old). I then follow up that everyone parent is going to have advice that worked for them and their baby, and it can be tiring to hear but typically comes from a place of love. The parent-to-be will figure out what works for them. Reach out for help, they aren't alone, and so on.
Now I'm wondering why 20 years ago I thought the music video for that song featured a cameo of the black panther statue that to me represents that road...
Also lovely words. I can't imagine having five!
The panther statue is at 2:45. I'm glad I didn't imagine this, I started to feel the Mandela effect.
1. My first child couldn't be calmed easily, although I found a song that somehow worked. [0]
2. Second child could be soothed by slowly rubbing from his temple down past his eye to his cheek.
3. Third child hated that, but loved having her forehead rubbed slowly in a horizontal manner.
4. Fourth child just wanted a firm pressure on the top of his head (e.g., a palm, he'd also burrow up into your armpit for comfort sometimes, which was awkward when I hadn't showered that day)
5. Fifth child didn't need any of the above, just lots of hugs and kisses at bed time. Bless her.
The only generally applicable rules I found are:
* Sleeping on your chest when young where they can hear your heartbeart (I found it works best with Dad when breastfeeding, as the smell of Mom's milk tended to stir them up for a feed, even if they're struggling with wind and not able to feed) can be very calming. Ideally done skin to skin.
* Slow rocking while making a continuous "sssshhh" noise often helped - the fact I'd become a human white noise generator amused me.
* Patiently, calmly, love them. It's most important to do this when it's hardest to love them. Knowing that they can be total assholes and you'll still love them is what grows secure kids.
* Ask for help when you're struggling! A lot of your friends and family are probably desperate to help you, but they don't want to appear condescending, or to intrude. So give them permission, explicitly invite them to help, and your sanity will return, which will make you a much better parent for baby.
That's it. That's all my parenting advice after five babies.
[0]: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCpXp6o8dnk