This is not for the squeamish....

I once woke up at 3:30 in the AM to the sensation of something crawling on my face. I sat up quickly and attempted to brush it off, but missed and the thing dashed into my ear. It went all the way in and nestled up to my ear drum. After getting over the initial uncertainty of not knowing whether it was that kind that bites, I thought I'd hang tight until the urgent care facility opened at 8:30 and have them take it out. But it moved around frequently, which made a significant sound as it rubbed against the tympanum, so there was no way I was going to sleep.

Yes, it is as unpleasant as you imagine it would be.

I couldn't stand the various maladies I dreamed up that might befall my hearing and after about an hour, I drove myself to the emergency room.

Here's where it's relevant to the story. At first, they couldn't see it with their otoscope, so they cleaned my ear out. In order to open space for a better look, they scooped out a disturbingly large amount of ear wax. I was surprised at this, as I do use Q-Tip daily and couldn't imagine that I'd missed that much wax when cleaning (I hadn't, Q-Tip doesn't reach there). And I'd recently had a full audiologist exam that found no issues. I asked the Dr. about it as he was locating the bug and he said that actually, the earwax in the ear canal is part of the body's protections against germs & viruses, and the amount removed was typical. Once the wax was out, he could see the thing.

They then 'paralyzed' it by squirting in an anesthetic so it wouldn't cling to my ear canal, then washed the ear out, and the bug came out.

$1,850 lighter, I headed home.

So. Learning that I could have had an eargasm and saved that small fortune, well, it's good to know for next time I'm in Vietnam with a bug in my ear.

For those who absolutely have to know... it was a silverfish. Ick.

1) For a PCP that does ear cleanings, you could have done that for peanuts. I used to know an FM guy who would do it regularly for patients (maybe a touch too regularly).

2) Heh, it's actually a standard board exam question about "homeless guy comes in with scratching in one ear." The official answer is that you /don't/ scope first, because if it's a roach, the sudden light can make them scrabble deeper. Which is actually funny, since different bugs respond differently - there have been case reports where people have reported repeated success with taking the patient to a darkened room, opening the ear as much as possible, and having a light pointed near the outside of the ear - luring the bug to crawl out on its own.

Actually, on second thought, I don't know if it's a "standard" board question. Rather, it was something I studied for boards once upon a time. I'm not in EM/FM, so it's not something I've ever had come up again.

I still have nightmares about the Ceti Eel scene in Wrath of Khan; your ability to hold out for an hour is admirable.

https://youtu.be/3i42Smtbmeg

Five hours.

Incorrect, look again. That's when the clinic opened.

I’m not a doctor but listening to the Meat Eater podcast with Steve Rinella they mentioned talking to a doctor about this. One simple and effective method for killing the bug is to use a non-toxic oil to drowned the bug. Once dead one can flush out the oil and the bug.

Never had a bug in the ear, but I remember someone telling me that if it ever happens to dilute some isopropyl or peroxide and pour it in there. I sure wouldnt want to spend $2k; anyone know if this method is the most reliable to use at home?

I have issues with wax covering my eustachian tube and so I do exactly this - it loosens up the wax and allows whatever process moves it to the outer ear to work better.

would certainly try this before anything else. I use 1/4 3% peroxide, 1/4 70% isopropyl, and 1/2 water - if its too strong it will be uncomfortable.

An acquaintance of my wife had a similar experience, having a full on cockroach dragged out of her ear. The stuff nightmares are made of...

At least it wasn't an earwig

South-East Asians have 'dry' earwax, as determined by the ABCC11 gene. This is the same gene that makes their sweat have no odour. Just because Vietnamese people go around with sweaty shirts, doesn't necessarily mean you should... And just because they get their ears cleaned, doesn't mean you should.

The Wikipedia article for ear picks implies that it is necessary because of the dry earwax type. The source says:

> Dry wax, most common in Orientals and Native Americans, is gray and dry. It is flaky and may form a thin mass that lies in the ear canal.

[0]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ABCC11

[1]: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ear_pick

After living in Vietnam for 4 years, I can guarantee that at least some of them have odor.

I have quite clean ears already, but usually what I see removed (they put it on the back of your hand usually) is flaky dry skin. That said, I go for the eargasm experience more than the ear cleaning itself. It is a nice relaxing thing for me and fits into the culture of grooming there.

I have a wax issue myself, which can cause lots of buildup since it doesn't always fall out on its own.

Several years back it got quite bad, so I went to an ENT doctor in SF and they did this suction thing. It felt so strange but it worked like magic.

Even jingling my keys was a bit sensitive at first until my eardrum got used to the sound again due to (probably) having a clearer surface area.

There is something in China with airwax treatments and I just heard too many negative stories from foreigners even though Chinese people do it a lot, to not try it. It is just really sensitive equipment up there: not sure what works and what does not.

I wonder if this has anything to do with Asian's having a dryer/waxier ear wax? Not something I know much about but I remember learning about it in an anthropology class.

I wonder if this has to do with different populations having wet vs dry earwax. Didn't realize that until relatively recently!

https://www.livescience.com/593-earwax-wet-dry.html#:~:text=....

In China as well:

http://www.bbc.com/travel/story/20181029-in-china-chengdus-p...

I suspect whether you have liquid or solid earwax (genetics) makes a huge difference.

Every Japanese shop sells bamboo or plastic earpicks (and more exotic materials like titanium) designed to scoop out the gunk from your ears.

And then you have these French cotton buds that have a small flexible spoon-like end on one side:

https://www.quies.com/product/otospoon-dual-action-earwax-re...

Given the proximity of China to Vietnam, pretty much anything that comes from China is also done in Vietnam. ;-) Who started it is always up for debate as a favorite pastime.

from https://www.mercurynews.com/2011/01/22/vietnamese-clients-wa...

> There are stories of customers leaving wives for ear pickers and a life of in-home ear pleasure.

If I ever get to Vietnam I will definitely give this a try. It seems quite relaxing according to this video [0].

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9KWuwiKXvM&ab_channel=YOU-G...

I had this procedure done (also in Vietnam) and found it highly unpleasant. It was like tickling/scratching deep in my ear canal, and left my ears uncomfortably sensitive, painful, and itchy for 24 hours; fortunately I didn’t get an infection. My companions at the salon had no such issues. Other commenters have remarked on genetic differences in earwax consistency; perhaps that’s the reason I found it so awful.

There's also something called "eyelid shaving", courtesy of China.

https://www.scmp.com/news/china/article/1215255/rare-practic...

I don't know why you're getting down voted. My friend who introduced me to ray tai also gets that. Sadly, that one crossed a squeamish line for me, but he swears by it.

It is one of the 'standard' grooming things that you can take advantage of se asia. Grooming is really common because it is so inexpensive. Why cut your own toe nails when you can have someone who does it all day long do it for $2?

Is that related in any way?

An unusual form of grooming that's a norm in some other part of the world.

Ymmv, but to me letting other people poke in your ears is quite up there with letting them run a blade against your eyelids.

Grooming i guess?

Ah but I assume the earwax makes people deaf (sorry I do not have experience) while this is actually making your life worse (walking in the rain etc).

Never tried it so can't say about it. Regarding ear wax, I have a friend who is a musician. Since he was frequenting loud rehearsals his hearing begun to deteriorate but it was so gradual that it took him a while to realize he was loosing his hearing somewhat so he decided to got to an ENT. The ENT removed a large ball of wax from each one of his ears and his hearing went back to normal after that. It is possible that the ear wax was building up to protect his hearing from the loud environment he was in.

"Loud noises do not cause the ear to produce earwax as a protection mechanism. Instead, earwax secretion is triggered by physical contact. This means that people who wear in-ear headphones, earplugs or hearing aids are more likely to find an increase in earwax. For loud noises to stimulate earwax production, it has to produce significant sound waves that trick the ear into thinking there is physical contact. However, for this to occur, the noise would have to be so loud it would cause permanent damage to the eardrum as well as excruciating pain."

https://www.hospitalhealth.com.au/content/aged-allied-health...

I personally get quite waxy when I listen to loud music. I never let it build up but immediate notice more wax than usual. Oh, and I use over-ear headphones. I tend to believe that frequent lound sound could produce waxy buildup, whether it is for protection or not I have no knowlede of but I am open to the possibility

Interesting. I religiously wear earplugs every night for sleep and haven't found an increase in earwax. I also tend to have pretty clean ears, not much comes out that is visible. I clean my ears with q-tips, every day after my shower so maybe that is part of it.

So neat how everyone is different in this relatively small regard.